I'm wiping my ass in the bathroom next to the kitchen, and try to tell my mom something. She goes, "Wait a minute, I have a problem." Two seconds later. "The toaster oven is on fire."
I'm like Fuck, yeah, that's a problem, and start speed-wiping before dashing out of the bathroom to get water. My sister heard the same thing, so we both have water, then my dad goes don't throw it, it's a grease fire. My monkey brain starts doing calculations and is like "why on earth would the bottom of the toaster oven be coated in grease?" so I throw it, put most of it out, we close it, time to clean the fucking toaster oven.
Then I went to finish wiping but my dad had stolen the bathroom, COME ON, MAN.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh great morning.
