Episode 1
- Arrival at Loguetown (4 minutes)
- Tashigi intro and Zoro buying swords (6 minutes)
- Usopp vs Daddy Masterson (6 minutes)
- Smoker intro (4 minutes)
- Buggy execution (10 minutes)
- Dragon Saves the day and get away from loguetown (4 minutes)
- Up reverse mountain and into Laboon’s mouth (6 minutes)
- Crocus Intro (3 minutes)
- Intro of Ms. Wednesday (Vivi) and Mr. 9 and their defeat by Luffy (6 Minutes)
- Laboon Backstory and Log pose explanation (6 minutes)
- Laboon resolution (6 minutes)
- Arrival in Whiskey Peak and Welcome Party (7 Minutes)
-ENDING: Reveal that Whiskey Peak residents are Baroque Works bounty
Runtime: 71 minutes
Episode 2
Zoro vs 100 bounty hunters ( 6 minutes)
Luffy vs Zoro (5 minutes)
Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine Intro and Defeat (7 minutes)
Vivi explains baroque works (6 minutes)
Robin intro as miss all Sunday and Igaram “Death” (Or maybe real death this time) (10 minutes)
Onward to Little Garden and meeting the Giants (6 minutes)
Giants fight (1 minute)
Mr. 3 Intro (4 minutes)
Exploding alcohol in broggy’s mouth and Broggy restraining Luffy (6 minutes)
Dorry and Broggy second fight (2 minutes)
ENDING: Broggy slashing dorry
Runtime: 53 minutes
Episode 3
Mr. 3 Traps Broggy (3 minutes)
Mr. 3 Traps the rest of the Strawhats (4 minutes)
Usopp and Luffy come to fight Mr. 3 (5 minutes)
Wax Cake burnt and Mr. 5 taken out (3 minutes)
Luffy vs Mr. 3 continued (5 minutes)
Sanji speaks with Croc (6 minutes)
Hakoku Sovreignity slays the Giant Monster (2 minutes)
Nami is sick (5 minutes)
Arrival at Drum and Luffy’s lesson in humility (5 minutes)
Kureha intro (5 minutes)
Dalton exposition (3 minutes)
Luffy Climbs the mountain (10 minutes)
ENDING: Luffy at the top of the mountain and drum castle
Runtime: 59 minutes
Episode 4
Chopper intro and Kureha explains Nami’s disease (8 minutes)
Chopper backstory (20 minutes)
Wapol vs Luffy and Chopper vs Kuromarimo and Chess (15 minutes)
Arc ending with Sakura blossoms blooming (5 minutes)
ENDING: Crocodile’s first appearance as he arrives as he is about to take down pirates in Alabasta where he is treated as a hero
Runtime: 51 minutes
Episode 5
- Meeting Bon Clay and Arrival at Alaabasta (8 minutes)
- Meeting Ace, Exploring Nanohana, Seeing Crocodile being the hero of Alabasta taking out pirates, (20 minutes)
- Entering the desert, Ruined town of Erumalu and Rain Powder explanation, Yuba oasis and old man Toto (25 minutes)
-ENDING: Strawhats arrive at Rainbase (3-5 minutes)
Episode 6
- Strawhats captured by Crocodile (10 minutes)
- Baroque Works plan sets into motion with Mr. 2 cloning the king in Nanohana and claiming to use dance powder(15 minutes)
- Sanji saving the strawhats and escaping Rainbase (20 minutes)
- ENDING: Luffy vs Crocodile with the last shot of the episode being Luffy impaled on crocodile’s hook (10 minutes)
* Add some filler this episode to flesh out the civil war
Episode 7
- Super Spotted Billard Ducks plan as strawhats arrive in Alubarna (5 minutes)
-Sanji vs Mr. 2 (10 minutes including Usopp getting stomped by Mr. 2 (10 minutes)
-Usopp and Chopper vs Mr. 4 and Miss Merry Christmas (16 minutes)
- Nami vs Ms. Doublefinger (7 minutes)
-Zoro vs Mr. 1 (15 minutes)
-Crocodile vs Kicking Klaw Force and he reveals his plan to gain Pluton (5 minutes)
- ENDING: Luffy’s entrance saving Vivi (3 minutes)
Episode 8
- Luffy vs Crocodile round 2 (10 minutes)
- Bomb Plot and Pell’s sacrifice (8 minutes + He stays dead this time)
- Luffy vs Crocodile Round 3 (15 minutes)
- Party (10 minutes)
- Escape from Alabasta (7 minutes)
- ENDING: Vivi’s farewell and the X scene
I'll be very critical but that's because you have done a detailed and meticulous work and its a very interesting exercice.
I may be underestimating completely the lenghts of the scenes, I did that briefly, I haven't script-timing for years now, but I would say that your pacing is too slow. We need to go faster. I gained at least 10 minutes by thinking about the scene in more details. (it still too long, I'm sure we can reduce that, but its not my job anymore lol)
EPISODE 1 - (The main goal of the season will be the defeat of Crocodile, so we need to end the first episode on a revelation of Vivi at the very least to create the link between the beginning and the end).
- Firstly, I would reintroduce the world and Logue town in some form or another
(30 s)
- I would make the arrival to Logue very differently. I would first introduce Tashigi against a bunch of buggy pirates talking sh*t about capturing Strawhat. (you could introduce the fact that Tashigi is searching for a specific sword and the place where to buy it is named X
(~ 1 min)
While Oda wanted to include Daddy Masterson in the manga, we don't need him in the story. So you can already win a lot of time here.
- Tashigi arrives at the HQ and it HER who will informs Smoker of the arrival of the Strawhats on Logue Town because of the tips earlier. Here, I would place Smoker in front of a huge window, facing roger's scaffold, back turned on us and Tashigi, you would need to plant rapidely the ability of Smoker (the room in smoke ventilating itself by a hand movement for ex.). And only ONCE you made smoker rip or burn a wanted poster of Luffy...
(2 to 3 minutes)
- THEN you introduce the crew debarking on the island looking at the big streets as they explain the reason for coming here (have them speak about a specific item that nami thinks she can aquiere to help them go to the grandline (this could be a foreshadowing for the log pose for ex) and split them to find there own stuff. have Nami states that there will be a storm.. (I would make Usopp stay with Merry, you will understand why and Sanji with Nami). You can also make them appear at sea first and then debark, but it will be longer and the rythm slower.
(debarking and spliting shouldn't take longer than 1.30 to 2 minutes)
- First I would follow Nami and Sanji with her quest, nothing much, just a little bonding then Luffy walking and asking his way to people (while the Marine are starting to spot him), in the same time you could introduce Zoro and Tashigi encountering each others in the sword shop. You could begin a good scene about the two swords of Zoro and their encounter and since one could be the one Tashigi is searching, you could make her understand little by little who Zoro really is. I would make it start raining around here. During that scene you could create more stakes by placing in between a scene where a marine actually discover the Merry with Usopp on it. If you add to that the scene where Luffy is spotted also by pirates... You could end the three way scene on a mini climax. I wouldn't show what happened to Usopp but I would make Zoro escape the fight barely and making Luffy surrounded by Buggy's pirates.
(Everything here should take a good 5 minutes)
- There you could introduce the Kairoseki. Luffy would be unable to escape buggy who would launch him on the plateform. Nami and Sanji could be witnessing the scene and rush to help Luffy. There Smoker, could make his apparition to stop both pirates groups (I would introduced the full range of his capacity here) while Nami and Sanji are still rushing toward the plateform. Buggy would put his sword in the air and you would get the smiling scene, I would create the apparition of Dragon in silhouet here very quickly and briefly and the very climax of the scene and pull the trigger for the thunder explosion. (make it knock out every pirates and marines) (
2.3 min)
- Then you could create the scene of escape, Smoker catching up to Luffy, the strawhats rushing toward each other. A small DenDen Mushi explaining that the merry has been captured to create a second climax with the storm raging and Smoker beating Luffy.. and of course Dragon Saving him..
(3 min)
- The strawhat escapes (usopp in fact knocked out one guy and him talk to the dendenmushi) they are heading toward the grand line and Dragon is making his speech (
3 minutes more or less)
- You would place the first opening here - That would be a very long Intro, but we need a cut between Logue Town and the search for Grand Line - Also note here that I stay very CLOSE to the source material.. we could do very different things, to make things more rythmic, more entertaining, more impactfull, the possibilities are endless. -
- Now, we need to introduce what the grand line and Calm Belt are. We can do that in multiple way (either we go back to log town where Smoker will himself explain where the strawhat are heading to follow him, and therefore explain what Calm Belt is) this would be better and cheaper... or we show it.... and oh my.... Rip the budget. I think we can do a little bit of both.
(This sequence + the entry + the discovering of Laboon should take around 5 to 6 minutes I think)
- I don't think we can skip Laboon.. and to the question, "do we enter in Laboon's body "? I would say ... its up to the screenwriters. If they manage to make things good without that, it would be better for the budget. So I won't enter in detail here (
I take 6 to 7 minutes) for that moment and introduction of the new characters (Vivi, Mr 9 and Crocus) But I like your idea of entering directly into Laboon's mouth.
- We need to reduce as possible the shots on Laboon (money money money) but I think we can manage something with Luffy and his fight against the beat. Maybe instead of taking the mast, we might make him use the cannon of the ship ? I don't know.. There might be a BETTER way than a fight (for the live action) to make Laboon stop hurting themself. Once again there is a lot of possibilities.
(Laboon's story + the ending shouldn't take more than 15 minutes.)
Note that there COULD be a way to mix Laboon's story with Whiskey Peak's story if we try hard. After all, the inhabitant are trying to get the meat of the whale.. Maybe the screenwriters could "cook" something else like a sea monster or a conflict. In order to stop the village from attacking Laboon once the strawhats arrive. I don't want to lost myself in imagining too much things here so I will keep thing simple.
- Now we are at whiskey Peak, the strawhats are feasting and Zoro is sneaking out.. The fight is important to keep the rythm and tension of the end of the episode high, we might maybe make Luffy wake up and fight Zoro at the end there...that could be funny
(5 min).
- It might now be the time to introduce new characters.. Do we keep mister 5 and miss valentine ? Maybe, maybe not... i'd say yes because we don't have a lot of agent left after that and we need to build up the stakes for the rest of the season. It might be the good moment for an encounter with Vivi and the revelation that she is actually a princess from another Kingdom..
(2 to 3 min)
- I would end the episode on that -
You might had a lot of time during the third quarter of the story. I'd say 1 hours / 1.15 H should do the trick. It would be a good first episode but there is a lot to do. Overall I'd say we agree pretty much on the time, not just on the event and the timing of said event. I think you are taking too much time (and I might be taking not enough), but the first episode should end around the beginning or the end of Whiskey peak.
(I will do the rest later when I have time)
