Title: “The Jacket of Justice: Dark Abel vs Imu, the Spoiled Tyrant”
Genre: Absurd Action-Comedy | Setting: 800 years ago, in the middle of a climatic cosmic flood conjured by Imu
[EXT. FINAL VALLEY OF THE VOID CENTURY – NIGHT, EVERYTHING IS FLOODING]
Ominous lightning dances through the sky. Giant celestial tsunamis loom above the Red Line. Fishmen scream underwater in fear. On the edge of a cliff, stands the towering silhouette of IMU—robed, regal, and ridiculously dramatic. Imu raises a hand toward the heavens.
IMU (shouting with divine flair)
I FLOOD THE WORLD TO ERASE HISTORY! MAY ALL BE WET AND FORGOTTEN!
Suddenly, a flash of light. A smooth saxophone riff plays from nowhere. A figure unzips reality itself and steps out of the air wearing a blindingly loud, rhinestone-covered, flamingo-pink jacket.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
They say he was born from a spoiler thread and raised by leaks. The jacket is his stand, his shield, his truth. The world knew him as...
[A TITLE SCREEN SMASHES INTO VIEW]
"@Dark-Abel : THE SPOILER THAT RUINED THE FINAL WAR"
Abel D. Ark, aka DARK ABEL, stands at the edge of the cliff, striking a pose like a JRPG final boss who moonlights as a K-pop backup dancer.
ABEL (grinning like a madman)
Yo, Imu. Nice flood. Shame I already saw the ending, and lemme tell ya: you lose HARD.
IMU (squinting through water and rage)
...what the funk is this, brother?!
ABEL (unzipping jacket to reveal a glowing text-filled interior)
This... is
jacket jacket fruit supremacy.
Suddenly, holographic spoilers fly out from the jacket in bullet-time. Chapters. Leaks. Future wiki summaries. Forum arguments with 89 upvotes. One shows Luffy defeating Imu with the power of friendship AND taxes.
IMU (shielding their eyes)
NOOOO!! THE PLOT! MY IMMORTALITY ARC WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE!!
ABEL (spinning like a tornado of truths)
Chapter 1200: "IMU GETS SPOILED!" You lose your robe, your throne, and your last shred of mystery. Wanna see the panel where Vivi kicks you in the teeth with the Nefertari Family Secret Technique:
Plot Punch?
Abel pulls out a holographic manga panel with Vivi’s boot in motion.
IMU
STOP! I HAVEN’T EVEN READ THAT ARC YET!!
ABEL (doing a JoJo pose)
TOO LATE. SPOILERS DON’T CARE ABOUT TIMELINES.
Lightning hits Abel, but he absorbs it into his jacket like it’s WiFi.
ABEL (unhinged now, frothing slightly)
YOU WANNA FLOOD THE WORLD?
I’LL FLOOD YOUR BRAIN...
WITH SPOILERS!!!
The jacket expands. It unzips to a cosmic dimension of spoilers—a multiverse of bad futures. We see:
- Kaido becoming an aggressively motivational speaker.
- Sanji becoming a monk.
- Zunesha starting a podcast with Big News Morgans.
- @Nekomamushi marrying a sentient lasagna.
- Luffy crying over One Piece being "the friends we made along the way".
IMU (screaming in temporal agony)
NOOOOOOOO!! NOT THE FRIENDSHIP ENDING!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!
Imu tries to conjure a tsunami of plot armor, but Abel points at a spoiler from Chapter 999:
ABEL
You die... in a filler episode.
IMU (exploding into glitchy manga panels)
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE FINAL VILLAINNNNN—!!
BOOM! Imu is launched into the stratosphere, carried away by the weight of unreleased lore.
ABEL (dusting off jacket and lighting a cigarette made of raw speculation)
Should’ve stayed mysterious, dawg.
A ghostly narrator speaks as rain turns to confetti and dubstep echoes through the flooded world.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
And thus... history was saved. Not by heroes... not by armies...
…but by a man in a jacket too powerful for canon.
ABEL (sipping tea while spoilers float around him)
Next chapter’s gonna be wild.
[END.]
Disclaimer: No timelines were harmed in the making of this spoiler. Jacket Jacket Fruit still banned in 37 universes.
