Worstgen

Jew D. Boy

I actually have some time right now, as it turns out...I’ll hit you back when I’m ready to discuss 👍

Jew D. Boy

Aight, so the obvious - your prose and imagery are fucking phenomenal, that thought popped into my head more than any other. From the way Iris sliced those robbers up to the descriptions of Amazon Lily like we haven’t seen it before, you consistently evoke exactly the kind of mental pictures your words clearly intend to elicit.

Jew D. Boy

While Ayaka is a great entree into the Wano of your story, I was glad to see the focus shift to Iris and her backstory with the SHP and Willow. The reveal of her parentage felt natural, and I’ll admit that I found the identity of her mother to be a very pleasant surprise. Her connections with Zoro and Hancock really bring out more from those two than Oda has really ever given us.

Jew D. Boy

I’m really interested to see where this story goes, and what new allies Iris/Willow make on their journey...you’ve really captured the essence of OP without verging on parody or straight up plagiarism, every part of the story and dialogue feel like they could have come right out of the canon.

Jew D. Boy

Conversely, I kept finding myself thinking about how well the story works even to readers who aren’t hyper familiar with the established characters; at points, I forgot I was reading a story set in the One Piece world, which is honestly a higher compliment than I can pay to anything Oda’s produced since the time skip.

Jew D. Boy

Think it was wise to set the present narrative several decades after Luffy’s tale ended...it’ll be fascinating to see the aims of pirates in a post-WG world. What kind of evil forces have sprung up in the King’s wake? How will Iris and her comrades rise to the occasion? Honestly, if anyone around here could answer these questions with more aplomb and proficiency than you, well, I’d be hard pressed to name them 🙌

Den_Den_Mushi

Thanks for your kind words, friend! I was worried actually that it didn’t feel like a One Piece story, but I’m beginning to wonder if that may be more of a blessing than a curse. I was hoping to keep the world quite open to interpretation but the main story points should be there ie Vivi, Rebecca, Shirahoshi and Coby as political or military leaders after the short.

Den_Den_Mushi

I’ve got a couple more crew members to introduce and a couple more who will join along the way but the main aim is to give them all distinct personalities and goals. Much as Iris is their captain (and for a few of them, their princess), I want all of them to have their own goals to accomplish on the adventure.

Den_Den_Mushi

I’m glad you liked the setting of Amazon Lily! I think Oda’s worldbuilding leaves enough gaps and interpretations to work with, but I really wanted to present Iris as a bicultural character struggling with two very different sets of values. As you can probably tell, Mihawk has had some serious character development between the main story and this one, some of which comes from my prequel story here

Den_Den_Mushi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313951

This story details the meeting between Mihawk and Hancock and tries to have me fill in the blanks of Hancock’s trauma and unrequited love.

If you ever have a chance, I’d love to hear your thoughts on that one too.

Jew D. Boy

There’s no mistaking it for anything but OP, but yeah, it’s the kind of story that could probably stand on its own and work just as well. A really good fanfic can accomplish that sort of thing if the writer both understands the source material inside and out AND has an inspired vision of how they wanna deviate from it; from what you’ve posted so far, yours does both extremely well!

Jew D. Boy

I’ll definitely be checking the origin story out...until you mentioned that Hancock was Iris’s mom, my brain instantly went to Perona, so I would love to see how you build it up between Mihawk and his baby mama 😬

Jew D. Boy

Either way, your writing flows very well and your characters are truly vivid, so for what little it matters, you’ve got the official JDB Seal of Approval and Awesomeness 😎💯

Den_Den_Mushi

I appreciate all the support! I know Mihawk/Hancock is not a common pairing, but in my mind, it works. Hopefully you'll feel the same when you read my story; I feel as though with how emotionally immature she is, Hancock needs someone with more life experience to balance her out. She wants a traditional romance but being a teen, Luffy can't and won't give her that.

Jew D. Boy

They definitely make a more age-appropriate couple than either of them with Luffy or Perona, and like you said, they both realistically need to be with people who aren’t wacky kids. Iris will benefit from having them as parents, even if she clashes with her mom like any rebellious teenager WITHOUT world-famous abilities would 😏

Den_Den_Mushi

I can see why people ship Mihawk/Perona, but the kicker for me is that he calls her ghost-musume, with musume literally meaning daughter or a female that could be the speaker's daughter age-wise. As soon as I heard it, that ship never left the port for me.

Do you ship Franky with Robin btw? I find that most Franky fans do.

Jew D. Boy

Yet another reason you’re invaluable to our community, I never knew that “musume” thing! As far as the second bit, I’m not much of a shipper in general...but yes, absolutely, Frobin for life 🤖🌸🧡

Den_Den_Mushi

Haha it might end up ruining the ship for those who like it... It’s actually quite fun to find tidbits that Oda drops through language, for example Mihawk’s use of second person pronouns changes depending on how much he likes the person he’s speaking to. He even changes pronouns for Zoro and Luffy halfway through Baratie to represent his more favourable opinion of them.

Den_Den_Mushi

Frobin is a good ship although personally I avoid writing the Straw Hats. I guess I find it hard to relate to them on a personal level. Luffy is for sure the hardest to write for and he will never be the MC of anything I write. His personality shift from pre to post TS is too vast.

Btw today is Franky’s birthday so happy birthday to the pervert cyborg!

Jew D. Boy

I don’t see any reason why you’d need to include the SHP in your work more than you already have or planned to, the foundation is strong for Iris/Willow and it’s much cooler to see OP characters that aren’t the protagonists get some sorely needed development. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta get the blue dye in my hair to settle and pop on the Speedo/prosthetic forearms to celebrate the occasion appropriately 😈🦾