Worstgen
Cinera
That said, I'm deeply worried about wasting my life/time/youth. I'm already 24 and I'm not getting any younger.
Cinera
I've sort of resigned myself to not amounting to much of anything in life.
Cinera
What about you sis? How are you doing?
Den_Den_Mushi
Hmm yeah I’ve noticed a lot of people in our age group are suffering from severe FOMO. I used to think like that, then I adopted the Chinese philosophy of ‘lying flat’ and my mental health has never been better. Don’t think too much about attaining conventional success and just try to enjoy your life.
Den_Den_Mushi
I don’t really have any ambitions other than fulfilling my bucket list, retiring early and helping people through my work along the way. Idgaf if people find me lazy and unmotivated, what’s the point in slaving your life away for the capitalist machine? No one lies on their deathbed thinking ‘gee I should’ve gone to more of those networking events at work’.
Den_Den_Mushi
I could’ve gone to some high flying gig in corporate law, went overseas to a prestigious firm and all that. But where’s the fun in that lol. I’d be slaving 16 hours a day, getting abused by senior lawyers and have zero connection to friends, family or community. But I guess it all depends on what’s important to you personally.
Cinera
I think you hit the nail on the head. It's a combination of FOMO on my part, but also a feeling of deep betrayal to myself 8 years ago, and the expectations many people who have known me have had of me.
Cinera
2014 Cinera would think 2022 Cinera is a failure (2022 Cinera also thinks that). But it's not just my younger self that's judging me.
Cinera
It's also all the people that believed in or expected highly of me in high school and in university.
Cinera
My regret isn't that I haven't done more for the capitalist machine, it's the disappointment and betrayal of myself and of those that hoped of me.
Cinera
I feel like my life trajectory at 24 is a lot more bleak than my life trajectory at 16 was.
And I don't have the executive functioning, determination or resolve to change it that I might have had when I was younger.
And I don't have the executive functioning, determination or resolve to change it that I might have had when I was younger.
Cinera
I don't have any concrete ambitions right now beyond getting ahead in life (but that just feels like another failure to me).
Cinera
And even the path I do have to get ahead in life is not one I've been making any progress on.
Den_Den_Mushi
Yeah but think about it. Most people can’t envision any definition of success other than feeding the capitalist machine. So what if you can’t or don’t meet their expectations? None of that matters. It’s not their life lol.
I'm mostly just having fun with the overt simping in public.