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Regarding "pirate standards": how about you also look at her way of governing her islands compared to Kaido's. They are not at all the same, and obviously she could object to Kaido's or his subordinate's treatment of the people. (There are probably some "hardcore BM fans" that brought that up...

Big Mom is like a grotesque caricature of mother characteristics. The overarching theme of her character is ultimate control, wanting everything to suit her will, even if it takes violence (at least against others' free will or in the form of abuse), and even she thinks she has good intentions...

Obviously it makes sense that there is a "mom"-element to her character, and it even makes sense IN GENERAL that this is mostly limited to or especially strong with a specific age-range. And we know how she can be influenced by the food-factor and someone being of service to her. How about her...