Badass motherfuckers in history
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i found something about Darius the great but it's very long
Read it only if you have a day to spare
@Finalbeta you are from italy so give us some badass warriors from ancient Rome :cheers:
Read it only if you have a day to spare
After cyrus died his son Cambyses took over, added the once-powerful lands of Egypt to the Persian repertoire, and then arbitrarily biffed it all of a sudden when he accidentally stabbed himself in the leg and died of gangrene.
Immediately after Cambyses kicked it, some jerk showed up claiming to be the late Emperor's long-lost brother Smerdis – the Prince of Persia and legitimate, honest-to-crap rightful heir to the throne. Unfortunately, the problem here is that Cambyses' brother Smerdis was actually dead, having been assassinated by jackasses several years prior to the death of Cambyses. One of the few men who knew this was a Persian military officer known as Darius – a rock-hard commander of the Immortals who had served on the front lines during the conquest of Egypt, and a larynx-smashing neckpuncher who was far too badass to and honorable to just sit around while some jacknut usurped the throne. Darius, being the humorless classical-age warrior that he was, instead decided to take action - he put together a group of pissed-off nobles, charged the palace, destroyed the usurper, and took the crown for himself. With his first acts in office, Darius restored land that had been confiscated by the government, rebuilt the temples that had been destroyed by the false emperor, and married the daughter of the real Smerdis to further legitimize his place as King. Of course, I should mention that nowadays there's actually some debate among historians as to whether this now-dead ex-Emperor was actually the real Smerdis or a pretender. While we may never know whether Darius was a righteous savior of his people liberating his subjects from the reign of a usurper king or an evil bastard who simply killed the Emperor, stole his throne, and married his daughter, I would argue that either interpretation of the guy is equally badass.
Once Cyrus and his line were officially regicided, the miscellaneous tribes of the Middle East foolishly thought they could just run off and do their own thing without having to worry about any kind of ultra-gory retribution. Immediately after Darius took office he was confronted with nine open revolts, and all of a sudden he found himself needing to almost completely re-conquer the Persian Empire. Well whereas it took Cyrus and entire lifetime to forge Persia into a mighty empire Darius required just eleven months to complete the seemingly-daunting task and bring the traitorous tribes back into the fold. This is pretty damn impressive, especially considering that even Alexander the Great needed nine years to conquer Persia, and he was pretty much just fighting one army, let alone nine.
The secret to Darius' success was one part brilliant leadership, one part straight-up military assbeatery on the part of his infamous Immortals, and one part Mafia-style coercion. After destroying a rebel army, Darius had their so-called "liar-king" brought before him, stripped of his war gear and bound in chains. Darius would cut off the guy's nose, ears, and tongue, poke out an eye, stuff him in a small cage, and leave him outside the gates of the palace to rot for a while and think about what he'd done. After being sufficiently subjected to the ridicule of random passers-by and appropriately humiliated, the deposed king was crucified outside the city gates. Once he was dead his skin was cut off, stuffed with straw, and the creepy messed-up scarecrow was hung outside the liar-king's former castle as a testament to what it meant to screw with Darius.
After conquering an empire the size of the continental United States in roughly the amount of time it takes most kids to apply to medical school, Darius then went around and killed all the Persian tribal chieftains who didn't help him put down the rebellion, replacing them with G's he knew would have his back when he needed it. He also re-stabilized the Empire, built roads, trade routes, and bridges, established postal and judicial systems, standardized the currency, and sent a very clear message that anyone who effed with him was going to die screaming.
After cementing his reputation as the most bitchin' Emperor in the Fertile Crescent, Darius went about further expanding the already-ginormous Persian Empire. His first opponents were the Saka Scythians in Central Asia – badass warrior tribesmen known for their powers of face-stabbing. Despite being significantly outnumbered, Darius defeated them with an ingenious tactic; he built a massive fleet of ships in the Caspian Sea, sailed around behind the enemy lines, unloaded his troops, attacked them from the rear, and, according to Darius' own account, "smote the Scythians exceedingly". Afterwards he marched on India, captured the Indus Valley, and began mining donkey-loads of gold from the wealthy region. He even conquered the long-standing Greek settlements in Asia Minor and Thrace, marched across the Hellespont on a bridge made out of 600 wooden ships tied together, and campaigned against his enemies in Macedonia, Bulgaria, and the present-day Ukraine.
A few years later the Asia Minor Greeks, many of whom didn't realize how awesome Darius was, decided to go nuts and stage a huge ridiculous revolution. Our boy Darius wasn't about to stand for this crap, obviously, so he marched his troops around the Mediterranean coast burning and destroying everything he came across in a giant fiery death-orgy. He regained control over Asia Minor and Thrace, invaded and conquered several Aegean Islands, and even attempted to torch the mighty Greek city-state of Athens. The Athenians turned Darius' armies back at the Battle of Marathon in 490 BCE, but the Persian King had already made his point. He retained control over the rebellious Greek city-states, and oh yeah still occupied the entire Middle East and most of Central Asia. He died four years later, one of the richest and most powerful emperors on Earth.
Under Darius, the Persian Empire reached the pinnacle of its power and the fullest extent of its size. His domain consisted of over 40 different ethnic tribes, stretched from India to the Balkans, and covered almost three million square miles – almost twice the size of Caesar's Rome, and the largest empire of Antiquity. In his 36-year reign, Darius re-built this mighty Empire into one of the world's foremost powers, married six different women, and was pretty much righteously awesome in all possible respects. He kicked asses, took names, ruthlessly destroyed anyone who pissed him off, and fought all of his duels "to the pain."
Immediately after Cambyses kicked it, some jerk showed up claiming to be the late Emperor's long-lost brother Smerdis – the Prince of Persia and legitimate, honest-to-crap rightful heir to the throne. Unfortunately, the problem here is that Cambyses' brother Smerdis was actually dead, having been assassinated by jackasses several years prior to the death of Cambyses. One of the few men who knew this was a Persian military officer known as Darius – a rock-hard commander of the Immortals who had served on the front lines during the conquest of Egypt, and a larynx-smashing neckpuncher who was far too badass to and honorable to just sit around while some jacknut usurped the throne. Darius, being the humorless classical-age warrior that he was, instead decided to take action - he put together a group of pissed-off nobles, charged the palace, destroyed the usurper, and took the crown for himself. With his first acts in office, Darius restored land that had been confiscated by the government, rebuilt the temples that had been destroyed by the false emperor, and married the daughter of the real Smerdis to further legitimize his place as King. Of course, I should mention that nowadays there's actually some debate among historians as to whether this now-dead ex-Emperor was actually the real Smerdis or a pretender. While we may never know whether Darius was a righteous savior of his people liberating his subjects from the reign of a usurper king or an evil bastard who simply killed the Emperor, stole his throne, and married his daughter, I would argue that either interpretation of the guy is equally badass.
Once Cyrus and his line were officially regicided, the miscellaneous tribes of the Middle East foolishly thought they could just run off and do their own thing without having to worry about any kind of ultra-gory retribution. Immediately after Darius took office he was confronted with nine open revolts, and all of a sudden he found himself needing to almost completely re-conquer the Persian Empire. Well whereas it took Cyrus and entire lifetime to forge Persia into a mighty empire Darius required just eleven months to complete the seemingly-daunting task and bring the traitorous tribes back into the fold. This is pretty damn impressive, especially considering that even Alexander the Great needed nine years to conquer Persia, and he was pretty much just fighting one army, let alone nine.
The secret to Darius' success was one part brilliant leadership, one part straight-up military assbeatery on the part of his infamous Immortals, and one part Mafia-style coercion. After destroying a rebel army, Darius had their so-called "liar-king" brought before him, stripped of his war gear and bound in chains. Darius would cut off the guy's nose, ears, and tongue, poke out an eye, stuff him in a small cage, and leave him outside the gates of the palace to rot for a while and think about what he'd done. After being sufficiently subjected to the ridicule of random passers-by and appropriately humiliated, the deposed king was crucified outside the city gates. Once he was dead his skin was cut off, stuffed with straw, and the creepy messed-up scarecrow was hung outside the liar-king's former castle as a testament to what it meant to screw with Darius.
After conquering an empire the size of the continental United States in roughly the amount of time it takes most kids to apply to medical school, Darius then went around and killed all the Persian tribal chieftains who didn't help him put down the rebellion, replacing them with G's he knew would have his back when he needed it. He also re-stabilized the Empire, built roads, trade routes, and bridges, established postal and judicial systems, standardized the currency, and sent a very clear message that anyone who effed with him was going to die screaming.
After cementing his reputation as the most bitchin' Emperor in the Fertile Crescent, Darius went about further expanding the already-ginormous Persian Empire. His first opponents were the Saka Scythians in Central Asia – badass warrior tribesmen known for their powers of face-stabbing. Despite being significantly outnumbered, Darius defeated them with an ingenious tactic; he built a massive fleet of ships in the Caspian Sea, sailed around behind the enemy lines, unloaded his troops, attacked them from the rear, and, according to Darius' own account, "smote the Scythians exceedingly". Afterwards he marched on India, captured the Indus Valley, and began mining donkey-loads of gold from the wealthy region. He even conquered the long-standing Greek settlements in Asia Minor and Thrace, marched across the Hellespont on a bridge made out of 600 wooden ships tied together, and campaigned against his enemies in Macedonia, Bulgaria, and the present-day Ukraine.
A few years later the Asia Minor Greeks, many of whom didn't realize how awesome Darius was, decided to go nuts and stage a huge ridiculous revolution. Our boy Darius wasn't about to stand for this crap, obviously, so he marched his troops around the Mediterranean coast burning and destroying everything he came across in a giant fiery death-orgy. He regained control over Asia Minor and Thrace, invaded and conquered several Aegean Islands, and even attempted to torch the mighty Greek city-state of Athens. The Athenians turned Darius' armies back at the Battle of Marathon in 490 BCE, but the Persian King had already made his point. He retained control over the rebellious Greek city-states, and oh yeah still occupied the entire Middle East and most of Central Asia. He died four years later, one of the richest and most powerful emperors on Earth.
Under Darius, the Persian Empire reached the pinnacle of its power and the fullest extent of its size. His domain consisted of over 40 different ethnic tribes, stretched from India to the Balkans, and covered almost three million square miles – almost twice the size of Caesar's Rome, and the largest empire of Antiquity. In his 36-year reign, Darius re-built this mighty Empire into one of the world's foremost powers, married six different women, and was pretty much righteously awesome in all possible respects. He kicked asses, took names, ruthlessly destroyed anyone who pissed him off, and fought all of his duels "to the pain."
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@Finalbeta you are from italy so give us some badass warriors from ancient Rome :cheers:
Might need to jog my memory, but Zulqarnayn. Man in medieval history who erected the walls to stop Gog and Magog clans from terrorizing certain parts of the world. He was a wise Explorer King that traveled from one end of the world to the other far end. And he had several other exploits. As a child I was fascinated hearing his stories and as an Adult, I can only revere his accomplishments.
Good thread. Let's see what comes to mind.
I'm an italian so Garibaldi or Caesar are the first italian names which come to mind.
Garibaldi was a guy who had an immense ideal of freedom and braveness. He traveled the world to fight wars alongside the ones he believed in the right (on the other hand it is now speculated, and it is most likely true, he was too superficial in these choices and I think everybody knows there is never the black and white side but only gray ones, nobody is totally wrong or right), in Italy for these reason he is called "the hero of the 2 worlds" since he fought plenty in south America and Europe (he is also considered one of the best generals in modern history). Then he was crucial for the birth of Italy as a nation in 1861. He departed from north Italy with a group of 1000 people who joined him on their own choice (idealists mainly) and invaded Sicily (this act was called "the expedition of the thousand"), then conquered all the south of Italy (this mainly because hordes of people joined him, even from the enemy ranks, because of his insanely huge popularity) and finally met Emmanuel II ("the king of north Italy" let's put it this way) in Teano (near Naples) and simply gave him all the south of Italy without demanding nothing. His reward was seeing his dream of the italian kingdom fullfilled.
This is an example of the welcoming he get in London.
I could also add that a lot of portual workers in Liverpool (not too sure about the place but for sure a big portual city in UK) worked for free for some days in order to send him supplies for his campaign in Italy (this because newspapers sold his tales like hotcakes making him at the same time incredibly popular).
To give complete information some people instead see him as a brigand, mainly people who is not happy about what he had done. For sure on the other hand he was not a good administrator since his experiences as a governor (example: from when he took Naples until he gave it to the king) were not bright at all.
Then there are a lot of legendary figures of the roman ages but of course all these are shrouded by an aura of legend while Garibaldi died a little more than a century ago and so we know that he really did legendary actions that made him famous Worldwide.
Here it is his wiki page for more detailed infos:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giuseppe_Garibaldi
I'm an italian so Garibaldi or Caesar are the first italian names which come to mind.
Garibaldi was a guy who had an immense ideal of freedom and braveness. He traveled the world to fight wars alongside the ones he believed in the right (on the other hand it is now speculated, and it is most likely true, he was too superficial in these choices and I think everybody knows there is never the black and white side but only gray ones, nobody is totally wrong or right), in Italy for these reason he is called "the hero of the 2 worlds" since he fought plenty in south America and Europe (he is also considered one of the best generals in modern history). Then he was crucial for the birth of Italy as a nation in 1861. He departed from north Italy with a group of 1000 people who joined him on their own choice (idealists mainly) and invaded Sicily (this act was called "the expedition of the thousand"), then conquered all the south of Italy (this mainly because hordes of people joined him, even from the enemy ranks, because of his insanely huge popularity) and finally met Emmanuel II ("the king of north Italy" let's put it this way) in Teano (near Naples) and simply gave him all the south of Italy without demanding nothing. His reward was seeing his dream of the italian kingdom fullfilled.
This is an example of the welcoming he get in London.
I could also add that a lot of portual workers in Liverpool (not too sure about the place but for sure a big portual city in UK) worked for free for some days in order to send him supplies for his campaign in Italy (this because newspapers sold his tales like hotcakes making him at the same time incredibly popular).
To give complete information some people instead see him as a brigand, mainly people who is not happy about what he had done. For sure on the other hand he was not a good administrator since his experiences as a governor (example: from when he took Naples until he gave it to the king) were not bright at all.
Then there are a lot of legendary figures of the roman ages but of course all these are shrouded by an aura of legend while Garibaldi died a little more than a century ago and so we know that he really did legendary actions that made him famous Worldwide.
Here it is his wiki page for more detailed infos:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giuseppe_Garibaldi
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12 May, 1945. Lachhiman Gurung, a 4-feet 11-inches tall soldier in the 8th Gurkha Rifles, was manning a forward post in Taungdaw, Burma. Suddenly, 200 Japanese soldiers swooped down to his post. Grenades started dropping left and right. Gurung picked up the grenades and threw them right back to the enemy. A few grenades later, one exploded in his hand, shattering the hand, parts of his face, and a leg.
Gurung picked up his bolt-action Lee-Enfield mark II rifle with his left hand and shouted, “Come and fight.” They came and fought. And died. Rifleman Gurung kept firing for hours, shouting “come and fight” throughout the night. In the morning, support arrived to relieve him. There were no Japanese soldiers left by that time. They found 87 bodies strewn around his post, with him still shouting “come and fight.”
https://www.wearethemighty.com/arti...200-japanese-troops-with-a-bolt-action-rifle/
https://www.warhistoryonline.com/in...hours-against-200-enemy-soldiers-neutral.html
Gurung picked up his bolt-action Lee-Enfield mark II rifle with his left hand and shouted, “Come and fight.” They came and fought. And died. Rifleman Gurung kept firing for hours, shouting “come and fight” throughout the night. In the morning, support arrived to relieve him. There were no Japanese soldiers left by that time. They found 87 bodies strewn around his post, with him still shouting “come and fight.”
https://www.wearethemighty.com/arti...200-japanese-troops-with-a-bolt-action-rifle/
https://www.warhistoryonline.com/in...hours-against-200-enemy-soldiers-neutral.html
2 September, 2010. Bishnu Shrestha, a 5-feet 2-inches soldier in the 8th Gurkha Rifles, was travelling by a train in West Bengal, India. Suddenly, 40 armed robbers embarked and started looting and beating the passengers. Shrestha was off-duty. He stood patiently observing the situation. Then the robbers made a serious mistake. They started molesting an 18-year old girl.
Too much for the rifleman. He pulled out his knife and leaped at the robbers, killing three instantly and injuring eight others. He received a serious injury to his knife hand in the fray. Facing his fearless ferocity, the rest of the robbers pulled the chain and fled. Shrestha went over to the girl and asked, “Are you okay?”
https://www.badassoftheweek.com/shrestha
Too much for the rifleman. He pulled out his knife and leaped at the robbers, killing three instantly and injuring eight others. He received a serious injury to his knife hand in the fray. Facing his fearless ferocity, the rest of the robbers pulled the chain and fled. Shrestha went over to the girl and asked, “Are you okay?”
https://www.badassoftheweek.com/shrestha
Let's add some more posts.
Another name which comes to mind is Richard Lionhearth, nickanamed indeed lion hearth for his courage.
He was a king and a knight. This is from his wiki page:
Baha' al-Din, a contemporary Muslim soldier and biographer of Saladin, recorded a tribute to Richard's martial prowess at this battle: "I have been assured ... that on that day the king of England, lance in hand, rode along the whole length of our army from right to left, and not one of our soldiers left the ranks to attack him. The Sultan was wroth thereat and left the battlefield in anger...".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_I_of_England#Captivity,_ransom_and_return
On the other hand it seems he was also very vicious with his enemies. Anyway for sure somebody from England or even France can talk about him more and better (he is a figure well known in France too). Also he is the king who you see every time at the end of the Robin Hood tale.
Another name which comes to mind is Richard Lionhearth, nickanamed indeed lion hearth for his courage.
He was a king and a knight. This is from his wiki page:
Baha' al-Din, a contemporary Muslim soldier and biographer of Saladin, recorded a tribute to Richard's martial prowess at this battle: "I have been assured ... that on that day the king of England, lance in hand, rode along the whole length of our army from right to left, and not one of our soldiers left the ranks to attack him. The Sultan was wroth thereat and left the battlefield in anger...".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_I_of_England#Captivity,_ransom_and_return
On the other hand it seems he was also very vicious with his enemies. Anyway for sure somebody from England or even France can talk about him more and better (he is a figure well known in France too). Also he is the king who you see every time at the end of the Robin Hood tale.
