General & Others How would you write Onigashima war/raid ?

#1
Due to many negative opinions about war(im also disaspointed)write your onigashima raid, like a story from first chapthers)moments to end ,your own onigashima raid(you can even put it like in chapther 1: chapther 2: etc..longer/more detailed better(or if you can edit panels and create your own chapther/s if you have time what would you change,add,delete etc,create/change personalities of charachters to be more enterneing if you feel current are bored, ... be as much as you can creative
Some tags which i think would be interested
@Finalbeta
@Flower
@Buusatan94
@All_Red
@Bogard
@Dettles
@Fleet Admiral Lee Hung
@RayanOO
@Van
@TheAncientCenturion
@Yubel
@Master OF Haki
@Jewnicorn Fitness
@Starbound Beast D. Draig
 

Garp the Fist

Bwahahahaha
β€Ž
#3
-wouldn’t have done the Chapter 1000 thing. The arc really slowed down for a few chapters because he wasn’t ready to let Luffy up on the roof yet.
-give Nami and Usopp proper fights
-keep Luffy β€œdefeated” for a good few chapters. Have the Strawhats fight on despite not knowing that Luffy was ok.
 
#4
The straw hats put bombs(like the one used in wholecake island) about 100 in different locations in onigashima days before the raid, then before the raid begins, everything goes kaboom and only kaido survived while bigmom falls into the oceon, and the rest of the beast pirates are to weak to survive the explosion.
Also franky makes the bomb 10x stronger.
While everybody gang bang kaido.
Also sorry yamato you became an unforetold casuality.
 
#6
Cut of Tama, make the war more realistic, more tension, not writing it like we having a another dressrosa, this is the end of a 400chapter build up, would make it different with twist, with fights and result with no one expect...
Still believe in it and hope Oda donΒ΄t handle this arc as a another dressrosa.
 
#7
Get rid of all the fodder. Get rid of Big Mom since all she has done so far is help the straw hats. Stop with the nonstop stroking off to Luffy. Let Kaido be defeated by all the supernovas joining forces together instead of Luffy 1 v 1. Stop with the fake out defeats. Let the scabbards handle the Tobiroppo. Get rid of Tama. Get rid of Ashura and Kiku as characters they should have never been created since 9 scabbards are too much.
Post automatically merged:

I would have loved more unpredictability, that's fundamentally what lacked in all honesty. There was a lot in Marineford, see for example Squardo changing the place trying to sacrifice his own life lol.
Or that shanks appeared? Coby moment? Ace? Black beard appeared? Bb first to have two fruits? And guess what all that took 32 chapters. And yet Marine Ford had way more characters than Wano.
 
#8
Luffy vs Jack extreme-diff. Jack wins as a twist to add tension :kata:

Sanji becomes a villain as a twist to add tension. Sanji vs. Jinbe for the title of new vice-captian since Luffy was killed by Jack (RIP Luffy :pepemy:)

Zoro becomes the new captain and learns geppo on the spot. He opens his demon eye and cuts Kaido+Big Mom+Sanji in half as soon as he lands on the rooftop. Usopp and Robin die (to add tension of course)

This all happens in one chapter btw :finally:
 
#10
I’ll keep it the same until chapter 987. In chapter 987 we find out the ambush failed, Kaido proceeds to trash the scabbards in that same chapter.

988-990 Luffy decides to go out of hiding to save Kinemon forcing the alliance to go all out. Luffy tries to fight Kaido one on one and gets trashed, like badly for one full chapter. 990-995 are chapters were we learn more about Yamato as she tries to save Luffy and stand up against her father.

996-999 is about the alliance retreating, Kinemon and the rest of the Scabbards stay behind to ensure the rest can escape. Some Straw Hats get captured as they tried to escape. Finish chapter 999 with a cliffhanger similar to 900.

Chapter 1000 is the aftermath of the defeated. Throw in a timeskip of a couple days. Luffy is in a coma. The SHs, Samurais, Heart Pirates and Kid pirates are all blaming each other for the failure. The chapters ends with Luffy waking up and declaring that the war is not over, and he will become pirate king.

I would write it so the raid would fail, and the monumental chapter 1000 is about Luffy’s number one trait, preserverance and belief in himself.
 

Adam 🍎

Pretty Boy
β€Ž
#11
Remove Tama and Meme. Make Big Mom take a spectator role like CP0. Or make it like WWE where you can tap in someone
Remove Sanji, Nami and Usopp running away for 10 chapters doing nothing

Raid starts
Luffy makes his way to the roof with his crew with him
They fight Beast pirates as they go
Castle begins to shake because of Kaido's fight with Scarabs
Beast pirates swarm the alliance
Formation breaks and SH's start to get isolated
Zoro and Sanji stay with Luffy, Jimbei is with Nami and Usopp, Robin is with Brook and Franky, Chopper is with Carrot and Wanda
Luffy, Zoro and Sanji press on and the higher they go more resistance they face. Queen fires a laser separating Sanji from the rest, Sanji says to Zoro and Luffy to keep going he will take care of Queen. Luffy and Zoro can see the roof hole, Luffy stretches his arm to carry him and Zoro up. Just as they are getting ready to catapult themselves up King flies towards Luffy's arm ready to cut it. Zoro blocks King and both of them start fighting while Luffy reaches roof. Jack joins the fight versus Zoro but Killer intercepts Jack and begins to fight him.
Luffy reaches roof with Law and Kid there. Scarabs are defeated, Law teleports them away.
Roofpiece begins
Ulti and Page One see Nami, Usopp and Jimbei. Fight ensues
Black Maria and Sasaki fight Brook, Franky and Robin
Who's Who finds Chopper, Wanda and Carrot. Drake shows up tells to scram, he will take care of Who's Who
Chopper, Wanda and Carrot find Yamato and Yamato introduces herself.
Perospero shows up and Yamato readies herself but Carrot, Wand and Chopper tell her to go and help others, they will handle Peros
Yamato makes her way up meeting SH's along the way providing small assistance
King berates Yamato. Yamato ignores him and heads to the roof when Apoo attacks her.
Small fight starts and Yamato can't figure out Apoo's DF
Hawkings comes and fights Apoo, switches sides.
On the Roof the trio holds their ground against Kaido with BM watching
Yamato is almost at the roof when she sees Orochi and his Ninjas. Yamato and Orochi don't get along and fight ensues between her and Ninjas

Would do more but this is enough
 
#13
Thing starts when Luffy gets one shot by Kaido in Wano...
  • Luffy get captured in Udon, and will be executed with Kid and Killer. No stupid training camp.
  • Once Strawhats heard the news, each of them drops everything and rush to Udon
  • Strawhats accidentally gathered in front of Udon prison together with Kids pirate
  • With temporary alliance, they break into Udon prison to rescue their captains
  • After multiple fights, Queen appears and blocks the path. Sanji vs Queen, letting others to continue rescue mission
  • They reach the execution stage where their captains are. Kaido appears with ten thousands of his men.
  • Zoro asks other to focus on Luffy's rescue, while he will stall Kaido as much as he can
  • Zoro can stall a bit but finally get stomped by Kaido. However, Luffy and others is saved.
  • Alliance is in a big trouble and they focus on escaping (like Sabody arc). Some prisoners are free including Hyugoro and Kawamatsu
  • Alliance is barely able to escape. Zoro get helped from Kawamatsu.
  • End of Act 1
Act 2: Training and story for each Strawhat (Zoro with hiyori, Luffy with hyugoro, etc.)
Act 3: Onigashima Raid
 
#16
Thing starts when Luffy gets one shot by Kaido in Wano...
  • Luffy get captured in Udon, and will be executed with Kid and Killer. No stupid training camp.
  • Once Strawhats heard the news, each of them drops everything and rush to Udon
  • Strawhats accidentally gathered in front of Udon prison together with Kids pirate
  • With temporary alliance, they break into Udon prison to rescue their captains
  • After multiple fights, Queen appears and blocks the path. Sanji vs Queen, letting others to continue rescue mission
  • They reach the execution stage where their captains are. Kaido appears with ten thousands of his men.
  • Zoro asks other to focus on Luffy's rescue, while he will stall Kaido as much as he can
  • Zoro can stall a bit but finally get stomped by Kaido. However, Luffy and others is saved.
  • Alliance is in a big trouble and they focus on escaping (like Sabody arc). Some prisoners are free including Hyugoro and Kawamatsu
  • Alliance is barely able to escape. Zoro get helped from Kawamatsu.
  • End of Act 1
Act 2: Training and story for each Strawhat (Zoro with hiyori, Luffy with hyugoro, etc.)
Act 3: Onigashima Raid
where would they escape to, kaido would issue a manhunt, he is not stupid
 
#17
Onigashima raid was good but I would add a few things.

Marco vs Kaido 1v1, a heated battle where Kaido comes out on top but is weakened vs the worst generation.

I would've liked all the worst generation to team up against Kaido and not just Luffy, Law, Kidd, Zoro and Killer.

All the side battles should've been finished and out of the way before the roof fights, give 1 chapter to each fight to end it swiftly, give 2-3 chapters to big fights like Zoro vs King, Sanji vs Queen etc.

I wouldn't change anything else really, except the scabbards giving lasting damage to Kaido before they went down, and Kinemon not crying after he got beat, it was disgraceful.

That's it really, KKK for the win(Kidd kills Kaido).
 
#18
Remove Tama and Meme. Make Big Mom take a spectator role like CP0. Or make it like WWE where you can tap in someone
Remove Sanji, Nami and Usopp running away for 10 chapters doing nothing

Raid starts
Luffy makes his way to the roof with his crew with him
They fight Beast pirates as they go
Castle begins to shake because of Kaido's fight with Scarabs
Beast pirates swarm the alliance
Formation breaks and SH's start to get isolated
Zoro and Sanji stay with Luffy, Jimbei is with Nami and Usopp, Robin is with Brook and Franky, Chopper is with Carrot and Wanda
Luffy, Zoro and Sanji press on and the higher they go more resistance they face. Queen fires a laser separating Sanji from the rest, Sanji says to Zoro and Luffy to keep going he will take care of Queen. Luffy and Zoro can see the roof hole, Luffy stretches his arm to carry him and Zoro up. Just as they are getting ready to catapult themselves up King flies towards Luffy's arm ready to cut it. Zoro blocks King and both of them start fighting while Luffy reaches roof. Jack joins the fight versus Zoro but Killer intercepts Jack and begins to fight him.
Luffy reaches roof with Law and Kid there. Scarabs are defeated, Law teleports them away.
Roofpiece begins
Ulti and Page One see Nami, Usopp and Jimbei. Fight ensues
Black Maria and Sasaki fight Brook, Franky and Robin
Who's Who finds Chopper, Wanda and Carrot. Drake shows up tells to scram, he will take care of Who's Who
Chopper, Wanda and Carrot find Yamato and Yamato introduces herself.
Perospero shows up and Yamato readies herself but Carrot, Wand and Chopper tell her to go and help others, they will handle Peros
Yamato makes her way up meeting SH's along the way providing small assistance
King berates Yamato. Yamato ignores him and heads to the roof when Apoo attacks her.
Small fight starts and Yamato can't figure out Apoo's DF
Hawkings comes and fights Apoo, switches sides.
On the Roof the trio holds their ground against Kaido with BM watching
Yamato is almost at the roof when she sees Orochi and his Ninjas. Yamato and Orochi don't get along and fight ensues between her and Ninjas

Would do more but this is enough
I like this alot, can't even lie
 
#19
where would they escape to, kaido would issue a manhunt, he is not stupid
Strawhats are hidden in Wano and, yes, Kaido will issue a manhunt. We will see them train and fight with enemies like Apoo, Hawkin, some Numbers and flying 6.

Kaido is not stupid? Are you joking? He tries to tame CoC users, provides training camp for Luffy, and doesn't kill them when he has a chance.
 
#20
On a more serious note I'd want to dedicate entire chapters to certain plotlines in some cases such as:

-Giving Tama 1 chapter to sort out the gifters instead of sprinkling them over the span of several chapters

-Nami+Usopp vs. Ulti+Page One deserved 2 or 3 dedicated chapters with minimum cutaways. We love all the Strawhats and want to see them shine!! (No one would complain about these guys getting more screentime, it's the SIDE characters we're tired of, Oda!)

-Remove the Hiyori healer plotline. It basically did nothing anyway since half of them are dead and the other half is still weakened despite the heals

-As it currently stands, RoofPiece was nothing but fanservice. It should've been wayy more consequential. Show Kaido gripping his chest from Zoro's would or something, maybe a minor limp from fighting so many strong characters?

-Sanji had no business running around doing nothing for 5 chapters. He's an observation specialist and can literally burst through walls to get wherever he needs to be lmao

-Give Zoro's mental state a bigger focus after leaving the roof. Zoro was genuinely upset that he couldn't do more to Kaido. Have this loss weigh heavier on his mind

(These are things I don't know about yet since the arc isn't over yet)

-I want Zoro to get another shot at Kaido after defeating King, by reopening and expanding Kaido's old would and finally bringing him to his knees

-Everything else is good for the most part, hopefully Franky, Jinbe, Robin and Brook are going to get dedicated chapters for their fights (please Oda)
 
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