Ah fuck man, I'm sorry to hear all that. Like I mentioned, it's not easy to really break the shackles that are holding you back, especially when it's something like family, and they're the only people you're born into and are forced to live with, perhaps for your entire life. But you have to choose yourself, you have to trust yourself you're gonna manage without them. I thought I'd never get out or survive without them (something my mum loomed over my head as a way to control me), but here I am almost 3 years later, living my best life, making more money than ever, saving, living alone, complete freedom. You don't realise how much your development is being stunted by them.
I really hope you manage to escape and make a change. Trust me, I'm no one special, I'm pretty average, and even below-average in some areas, across the board. If I can do it, believe me you can too.
As for the parent part, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it hahaha. But personally I don't really want that, and I'm not doing anything to work towards it. I'd much rather redirect that responsibility towards myself, and making sure my life is the best life it can be. I don't really want to give that up anytime soon.
Tyvm! I appreciate it!
Aye, thats absolutely true, you can't choose your blood family but you can find/make/choose your own personal family too.
Damn, thats really interesting and inspiring. I've always felt I couldn't cope by myself but I've known a girl who went most of her life alone, from teenhood after running away from home to living by herself at my age now. She even raised her younger brother for a decade or so. I've heard of that, toxic parents will try to force you to always need them when they really need you instead, they don't want to be alone/abandoned and try to find ways to force you to stay including guilt tripping/shaming too.
Thats incredible man, especially in such an immensely short amount of time too! That gives me a LOT of hope too. I've slowly started becoming more self assured, its been a really difficult process after being put down my whole life especially from my own mother too.
I've heard about people having their development stunted by "smothers" or overbearing mothers and even fathers too ofc, being prisoners of their parents, much like Rapunzel in the Tangled film. That makes a LOT of sense! Explains a LOT!
Aye, thas no worries, I prefer the humility a lot, I find that a lot more relatable, trustworthy and believable. I'll keep that in mind, thank you very much! My family keeps making me ill and a certain someone here who I'm not on good terms with right now, did keep imploring me to get away from my family ASAP and they and you are right, my family keep driving me insane, using me as their constant put downer/emotional punching bag and scapegoat and I'm sick of it. Somehow its always my fault when something goes wrong in our lives, somehow they justify it to me and they can never do wrong, they can never be bad people, only me. Its exhausting.
Aye haha, I'm the same too, I rather and need to sort myself out, my own life before I can even consider taking on looking after children and raising them. I am nowhere near ready/fit enough to handle raising children and the responsibilities of it. It will take years before I even am honestly. And a LOT of work. I dont want to risk being a repeat of my family, especially my mother and father too.
Considering how much you said you've suffered too, I can't blame you there especially, we need to enjoy our lives too, we need to be able to take of ourselves and have our freedoms and rights, our independence and such, we're only human after all ofc.
Thats all I want in life now too, I just want to be happy and enjoy life, if I'm gonna have to keep on living then at least let me try and enjoy it lol. I have some simple pleasures in life atm and I'm trying to fixate on them to keep myself going, its a crutch until I sort my life out properly and its more stable, healthier, happier in general and such too.