Idk, I guess they stop living
A friend of mine died recently. We weren’t too close or anything. In fact I only knew her for little over a month. But she was still my friend. So I’ve just been thinking about it the past week.
What happens when people die?
I saw my friend the day before it happened. She seemed normal. Then I came to learn she offed herself the next day. Went to the funeral today. It was a Jewish funeral and in the customs, after the coffin is lowered into the ground, the mourners have a chance to shovel some dirt onto it. The rabbi said it was the last mitzvah we can do for them.
I don’t know if I really believe in an afterlife. It’s not impossible that we could reincarnate or that heaven and hell are real. But I just don’t think we get afterlives in any meaningful sense. All that we are is our body. Our brain, our memories, are physical appearance, senses, abilities, and characteristics, that is all we are.
Could the soul exist? It’s possible. But if it does exist then it would need to be something entirely different from the brain. And almost all of what constitutes our sense of self comes from the body and the brain.
I keep thinking about what happened to my friend. Where she is right now. I think she’s in the dirt, where we laid her to rest this morning. I think whatever constituted who my friend was, was destroyed when she killed herself. Her mind, her body, all she was and ever will be. All that was left was the remains, which we buried in a box in the ground.
I think that’s okay. It’s fine if that’s all there is. She had a tough life, she struggled, now it’s over. The older I get the more people I will know who have died until one day, death comes from me. Then I will experience the same thing my friend did, the same thing my grandparents did, the same thing everyone does. That gives me comfort.
I think the only meaningful afterlife we get is in the hearts of the people we affect. Hence I think I’ll do my best to keep my friend’s memory alive, even if I didn’t know her for too long. Then one day when I die, I can hope others will do the same for me.
I think I’ll do some volunteer anti suicide work. My friend was also British. Might visit Britain one day, perhaps also learn to cook British food. I heard she loved beans on toast. That sounds disgusting, but I think I’ll try it. For her sake.