I think you can be in some way an anarchist and a marxist, but I'm not very educated on that to be honest so I can be wrong.
For now, I lean more toward Marxism and communism. I would love to be an anarchist, but I don't think it's possible for people to auto-organize without a proper political education, so anarchism seems to be difficult to accomplish on first hand.
BUT.. in the end, after a period of transition (call it communism or something else) I think we should be able end up in an anarchic society. But this will take a lot of time.
For the moment, in Marxism, I think I'm leaning toward Troskism. Troskism talks about a perpetual revolution. What I know about leninism or maoism is that those branch have too much blindspots, I don't see how those can work without a form of repression and I'm against that.
I don't know about dengism, this is actually the first time I see this word lol
Oh alrighty, dengism reffers to the reforms that Deng Xiaoping made in the CCP after Mao's passing away, so people who support modern day China are dengists,
Personally I lean almost entirely towards anarcho-communism when it comes to socialism, but that's not to say that I support socialism, I don't think I have learned enough political theory to decide what to support yet, but it is to say that I preffer anarcho-communism out of all proposed roads to socialism,
Would you like me to recommend some vixeos you can check out about these topics?,
And also maybe you can add some youtube channels to the leftist library too, and the anarchist lobrary website, the libcom website, and the mises institute website, the mises institute isn't leftist but you could add it just to give more context about economics and right-wing political theory,
Edit: Also about what you said of being both an anarchist and a marxist, that I don't think you can be, in the traditional way of using the word marxist, because marxism sees a state as the way to communism, which anarchism sees building up worker democracy and prefiguring a communist society, building the new in the shell of the old, then doing a revolution and then living statelessly with that worker self-management, as the way to communism, at least anarcho-communism does, but a lot of anarchists also agree on a lot with Marx, and with other marxists, and also with some parts of maoism, although with maoism it seen like the character of the state was the reason that those transformstions of society couldn't take place, same with leninism and with marxism, and Zoe Baker is a popular anarcho-communist youtuber who talks a lot about Marx too, and she actually spoke about why the idea of socialism being a period of transition to communism is a leninist invention, and not Marx's intention in his writings, she wrote it as both an article and a video, if you would like to check it out, here is this article:
https://anarchozoe.com/2018/05/03/maoist-rebel-news-does-not-understand-marx/
And here is the video:
It has to do with what I mentioned of building the new in the shell of the old, and prefiguring what you want to see in society,
If you would like to see an anarchist answer to Engels' writing On Authority, meant to be a response to anarchists' objection to the use of unjustified authority, reffering to political authority, here are two videos of it:
This one is a response to a youtuber named Second Thought's video
and this one is a response specificslly to Engels' writing:
You can find Engels' writing here if you want to read it as you watch the video:
https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1872/10/authority.htm
And here is a writing by Petr Kropotkin about the usual anarcho-communist perspective on authority:
https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/petr-kropotkin-are-we-good-enough
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