It's hilarious to see the disconnect between Oda's actual agendas and the crazy fucking bullshit we convince ourselves of.
Oda's like: "Wano arc about why starvation and dictatorship is bad."
We're over here: "Zoro will kill Kaido with his Green Diverging Haki in Wano Act 4"
Oda: "WTF I'm not writing that shit"
LMFAO TOO TRUE.
You just gave me an idea too...
(OMFG IM CRYING WTF IS THIS LMFAO)
Setting: A cozy, cluttered office in Shueisha. Eiichiro Oda sits at his desk, sketching out ideas for upcoming chapters. Around him, his editors are nervously glancing at their phones, reading fan complaints. Oda, wearing his signature beanie and sunglasses, is blissfully humming, completely unaware of the chaos happening outside his world of drawing. On a giant whiteboard behind him is a messy draft of the Egghead Arc, covered in scribbles, with Yamato's name crossed out several times.
Editor 1: (scrolling through Twitter) "Oda-sensei... I... uh, I don’t know how to say this, but... the fans, they’re... they’re kinda upset."
Oda: (without looking up) "Upset? Fans are always upset about something. Just like how Luffy’s always hungry. It’s part of the journey!"
Editor 2: (looking pale) "But sensei, this time it’s... everything. The powerscalers, the theory crafters, the shippers, even the feet-enthusiasts—"
Oda: (suddenly intrigued) "Feet-enthusiasts? What did I do this time? I barely even show any feet!"
Editor 1: (trying to regain focus) "That’s not the point, Sensei. People are upset about Wano’s ending, Egghead’s pacing, new nakama debates... and then there’s the powerscalers. They're furious about Kaido. They say Luffy’s punch shouldn’t have knocked him out because Kaido is like, what, Yonko level, but Luffy’s—"
Oda: (laughing) "Ah, powerscalers! They’re like kids playing with action figures, arguing whose toy is stronger. Should I introduce a new fruit? The Power-Scale Scale Fruit?"
Editor 3: (seriously) "But Sensei, they’re really mad. Some are saying that Luffy is now stronger than the admirals, and others are saying Kaido was nerfed—"
Oda: (cutting him off) "NERFED?! Do they think I’m running a video game? Should I patch Kaido in the next chapter? ‘Update: Kaido’s durability has been increased by 10% and he now takes 50% less damage from oversized fists!’"
Editor 1: "And then there are the agenda chasers... They’re saying Yamato was supposed to join the crew, that you led them on. People are screaming, ‘Yamato for nakama! Oda baited us!’"
Oda: (grinning mischievously) "Ah, the nakama addicts. They treat every new character like a Pokémon—‘Gotta catch 'em all!’ They really thought I was just going to give them Yamato? What fun is that? Besides, who’s going to take care of Wano? Zoro?!"
Editor 2: (groaning) "Don’t even mention Zoro, Sensei. The ZKK crowd is still reeling. They’re claiming you forgot the prophecy, that you set up Zoro to kill Kaido—"
Oda: (laughing harder) "Zoro… killing Kaido? What, should I have him sneak up behind Kaido while Luffy’s fighting and just go, ‘Surprise!’ stab ‘Whoops, looks like I’m the real protagonist now!’?"
Editor 3: (nervously) "Then there are the theory grifters. You know, the YouTubers with 1-hour breakdowns titled ‘How Oda RUINED Wano’ or ‘Egghead Arc: Why Oda’s Lost His Touch’. Some are saying the Void Century reveal is going to be disappointing because—"
Oda: (leaning back in his chair, mockingly serious) "Oh, right, because they know so much about the Void Century. How about I drop it in a footnote? ‘By the way, Joy Boy invented Twitter and that’s how the world ended.’"
Editor 1: (glancing at the screen) "And speaking of Twitter, the shippers... They’re… going nuts. Nami and Luffy, Zoro and Robin, Yamato and... uh... everyone, apparently. They’re still mad you didn’t give them any big romantic moments in Wano—"
Oda: (rolling his eyes) "Romantic moments? Have they seen Luffy? He’s more likely to marry a piece of meat than a woman. If I ever write a wedding, it’s going to be Luffy and a giant steak."
Editor 2: (quietly) "And, uh… there’s also the feet and feats lovers. Some are angry about, well… no feet shots in Wano. But more are angry that some characters didn’t show off enough ‘feats’. Like, where were Zoro’s next-level moves? And why didn’t Sanji unlock a whole new transformation?"
Oda: (mocking surprise) "No feet and no feats? Wow, sounds like I’ve really failed this time. Next arc, I’ll make it all about feats. Everyone will have new transformations! Luffy will grow another arm, Zoro will unlock a seventh sword, and Sanji will… I don’t know… become a jet plane!"
Editor 3: (desperately) "And don’t forget the cynics! They think you’ve been dragging out Egghead just to avoid major reveals. They’re saying the arc is going nowhere and that you’ve lost your focus. One guy even said you’ve been trolling for the past decade!"
Oda: (dramatically clutching his chest) "Trolling?! Me?! As if I don’t have a 25-year plan! Look, I’m not trolling—I'm just having fun. And if I want to make Egghead a giant game of cat and mouse with secret robots, lasers, and whatever else, that’s because it’s my story! If I want to put a giraffe on the moon, guess what? I’ll do it!"
Editor 1: (checking another notification) "And the cynics are convinced you’re never going to end the series. They’re saying it’s just going to go on and on, that you’ll never give a satisfying conclusion."
Oda: (grinning slyly) "Oh, they’ll get an ending. And they won’t see it coming. Maybe Luffy will become the One Piece. Maybe the treasure is the friends we made along the way. Maybe I’ll just draw a giant middle finger and call it ‘The End.’"
Editor 2: (panicking) "Please, Oda-sensei, don’t joke about that!"
Oda: (laughing hysterically) "What if the final battle is Luffy fighting all the powerscalers in one-on-one combat? First Kaido, then Shanks, then… wait for it… Buggy!"
Editor 3: (trying to stay calm) "Sensei, please... the cynics, the theory guys, the powerscalers... they’re all tearing each other apart out there. They’re fighting harder than the Straw Hats ever did!"
Oda: (standing up, stretching, and looking out the window) "Let them fight. That’s how I know I’m doing my job right. If they’re all this mad, it means they’re still hooked. They can argue all they want, but at the end of the day..."
(He turns to face the editors, giving them a mischievous grin.)
Oda: "...they’ll keep reading."
(All the editors exchange exasperated looks, but can’t help but chuckle.)
Editor 1: "You really are a troll, Sensei."
Oda: (winking) "Gomu Gomu no… PLOT TWIST!"
(Everyone in the room bursts out laughing, while Oda returns to his drawing, completely unfazed by the chaos he’s unleashed in the fandom.)
Fin.