@Monster Zoro's Tesla Supplier @CoC: Color of Clowns
🎬 ScaleSwipe™: Love Gets Neg-Diffed
A mockumentary about the most diabolical dating app for anime powerscalers.
Scene 1 – The Catastrophic Breakup
(romantic montage: couple holding hands, sharing ramen, laughing together)
Narrator (somber):
“They had it all. Love. Trust. A 300-day Snapchat streak. Until… tragedy struck.”
Cut to dramatic zoom on her phone screen
Old post unearthed:
“Enel > Madara. Fight me.”
(girl crying to camera)
“He said he loved me. But how could I be with a man who genuinely thinks lightning island boy could solo the Uchiha clan? I’m not raising kids with THAT bloodline.”
Scene 2 – The Date That Imploded
(candlelit dinner, romantic vibes, wine poured)
Guy: “So tell me about your passions.”
Girl: “Well, I love painting, nature, and I think Whitebeard could beat Garp.”
Guy (chokes on food, flips the table): “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? HE HAS NO HAKI FEATS. NONE. YOU DISGUST ME.”
Cut to narrator:
“In ScaleSwipe™, romance dies the second headcanon enters the chat.”
Scene 3 – The Conspiracy Theorist Match
(man with messy hair, corkboard of red strings, anime panels everywhere)
“She unmatched me because I said Zoro > Luffy. That’s not even a take—that’s the TRUTH. He’s been groomed by Oda to be the real MC. Open your eyes, sheep!”
(throws dart at Oda’s face on corkboard)
Scene 4 – The “Agenda Over Marriage” Tragedy
(wedding video. Bride at the altar. Priest about to announce vows.)
Bride: “I vow to always love and support you.”
Groom (interrupts): “And I vow that Mihawk > Shanks, forever.”
(audience gasps. Bride drops bouquet, storms out.)
Narrator:
“Three years of engagement… neg diffed in one sentence.”
Scene 5 – The Overly Petty Dump
(girl in her 30s, sipping wine angrily)
“He was perfect. Like… literally perfect. But then he casually said Yamato > Katakuri. Are you kidding me? Are you… KIDDING me?! I will not raise my children in a household where THAT filth is spoken.”
Scene 6 – The Ultimate Betrayal
(montage of a couple growing old together, children, family photos, laughter)
Narrator (whispering dramatically):
“But after 42 years of marriage, she found his old Reddit account…”
Screen zooms in
“Boruto solos.”
(wife packing suitcase)
“He disgusts me. He LIED. My whole marriage was a genjutsu.”
Closing Words
Expert Testimony (fake psychologist):
“In ScaleSwipe™, love isn’t measured in compatibility… but in battle scaling. And once your agenda collapses… so does your relationship.”
Narrator (dead serious, black screen):
“They thought they were soulmates. But in the end… they were just another low-diff casualty.”
TITLE CARD:
💔 ScaleSwipe™: Where Love Gets Powercliffed And Feats Matter More Than Your Feelings 💔