GABAN PARALLEL MY ASS. GABAN COULD HAVE BEEN A FINE OLD MAN WITH AN AXE AND A DREAM. INSTEAD HE HAS BEEN WEAPONIZED AGAINST ME PERSONALLY. HE IS THE WRINKLED MIDWIFE DELIVERING SANJI AGENDA THROUGH THE STRETCHED INTROTUS OF ODA’S MOST CURSED DECISION, WHILE THE LANJI FANBASE STANDS AROUND CLAPPING LIKE THEY JUST WITNESSED THE BIRTH OF CHRIST.
I AM NOT OKAY.
I WILL NEVER BE OKAY.
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, I AM READING ONE PIECE LIKE A MAN STUDYING AN ENEMY TREATY. NO JOY. NO WONDER. NO “ODA COOKED.” ONLY COLD ANALYSIS AND BLOOD PRESSURE DAMAGE.
EVERY NEW CHAPTER, I WILL OPEN THE SCANS WITH ONE HAND ON MY ZORO FIGURE AND THE OTHER READY TO CLOSE THE TAB.
EVERY SANJI PANEL WILL BE TREATED AS HOSTILE PROPAGANDA.
EVERY ZORO SILENCE WILL BE INTERPRETED AS SUPPRESSED GREATNESS.
EVERY TIME LUFFY SMILES AT THAT BLONDE BASTARD, I WILL ASSUME BLACKMAIL.
AND IF ODA THINKS I’M GOING TO ACCEPT THIS, IF HE THINKS I’M GOING TO ROLL OVER AND LET THE LANJI AGENDA DRAG ITS GREASY KNUCKLES ACROSS THE PERINEUM OF MY SOUL, HE HAS ANOTHER THING COMING.
I WILL COPE LOUDER.
I WILL DENY HARDER.
I WILL POWERSCALE WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND LOCKED THREADS.
ZORO IS STILL HIM.
ZORO HAS ALWAYS BEEN HIM.
ZORO WILL REMAIN HIM EVEN IF ODA PERSONALLY DESCENDS FROM JAPAN, KICKS MY DOOR DOWN, AND TATTOOS “SANJI = ZORO” ACROSS MY CHEST WITH A NEEDLE MADE OF PURE CANON.
I WILL SCRAPE IT OFF.
I WILL BLEED GREEN.
I WILL STAND BEFORE THE FINAL WAR, DERANGED, SLEEP-DEPRIVED, CLUTCHING MY BANDANA LIKE A ROSARY, AND I WILL SAY WHAT ALL COWARDS FEAR TO SAY:
ZORO LOW DIFFS.
ZORO ALWAYS LOW DIFFS.
AND IF REALITY DISAGREES, THEN REALITY WAS WRITTEN IN THE FOLDS OF A LANJI FAN’S COPIUM-SOAKED LABIA.
@Mr. Reloaded crux manifesto dropped