Controversial Is dating really as hard as some people say it is?
- Thread starter Monkey D Theories
- Start date
It's not about me being an expert at all, I've only been in two serious relationships and I'm no romantic (like at all)
My points is most mfs here are tweaking. You won't find rational advice here or any sort of middle ground where someone actually gives you their unbiased take on what constitutes "successful" dating. Half of WG users are staunch misogynists' with a rage boner against modern women. They'll tell you these girls are at fault instead of them (saying they only date hot guys or guys with money)
Newsflash, girls like funny dudes. If you make them laugh you have a chance. My advice? Be normal.
My points is most mfs here are tweaking. You won't find rational advice here or any sort of middle ground where someone actually gives you their unbiased take on what constitutes "successful" dating. Half of WG users are staunch misogynists' with a rage boner against modern women. They'll tell you these girls are at fault instead of them (saying they only date hot guys or guys with money)
Newsflash, girls like funny dudes. If you make them laugh you have a chance. My advice? Be normal.
True that. This forum has a strange amount of incels for some reason.
There's also people who act like they know every little thing about women (cough Logiko cough) but that's not the topic at hand.
Anyway yeah, I think just not being an annoying asshole will get you a long way with girls. Should be common sense.
There's also people who act like they know every little thing about women (cough Logiko cough) but that's not the topic at hand.
Anyway yeah, I think just not being an annoying asshole will get you a long way with girls. Should be common sense.
My advice to those who are lonely is to never put the person you wish to date on a pedestal. You treat them like your equal, and understand that things will not always be perfect. I've been with my wife for 11 years now (and, as I stated, it was my first relationship). We sometimes have our spats, and that is alright, but it's about how you deal with conflict.
They (your SO) have their own desires and needs, and sometimes it's important to meet them half-way. I'll sometimes do something I find inane because I know it'll make my wife happy. In turn, she listens to my ranting about hobbies that I am sure she also has zero interest in.
It's not all about money. It's not all about looks. Ultimately, I feel confidence and strength of character is what is important. But I still cannot call myself an expert; I'm only an expert regarding my relationship with my wife, lol.
They (your SO) have their own desires and needs, and sometimes it's important to meet them half-way. I'll sometimes do something I find inane because I know it'll make my wife happy. In turn, she listens to my ranting about hobbies that I am sure she also has zero interest in.
It's not all about money. It's not all about looks. Ultimately, I feel confidence and strength of character is what is important. But I still cannot call myself an expert; I'm only an expert regarding my relationship with my wife, lol.
Wow. The opening post itself is pretty... interesting. Just settle for anyone because you're in it to stay in the genetic pool? That's good and all, I guess, but that's not dating. Arranged marriages are not dating. Hell, good luck keeping a healthy, lasting relationship with that mentality, but I guess that won't matter since you'd have had offspring.
The question you ask is all over the place, since the people you claim say "dating is so hard nowadays" are actually talking about dating and not about what you went on about later on your post, but I will still answer.
My experience in Europe in a nutshell is that as long as you're a normal guy with above average looks and can hold a conversation (that doesn't revolve around manga), you're good to go. Hell, I don't even think your financial status is all that important when you're young as long as you aren't going for gold diggers (I remember when I had just finished college and didn't have a job yet, I went on dates with girls who then offered to cover the whole bill).
I do think it gets harder to really meet new people as you get older, but you will as long as you don't stay at home all day. Join public activities, go to bars or whatever.
Also, don't settle for someone who doesn't actually make you happy for who they are or if you don't genuinely enjoy their company. There are ups and downs to any relationship, and there's no need for insane expectations (although anyone has their preferences), but this is the bare minimum for it to work long term. The rest is the effort you put in, but that should come naturally.
The question you ask is all over the place, since the people you claim say "dating is so hard nowadays" are actually talking about dating and not about what you went on about later on your post, but I will still answer.
My experience in Europe in a nutshell is that as long as you're a normal guy with above average looks and can hold a conversation (that doesn't revolve around manga), you're good to go. Hell, I don't even think your financial status is all that important when you're young as long as you aren't going for gold diggers (I remember when I had just finished college and didn't have a job yet, I went on dates with girls who then offered to cover the whole bill).
I do think it gets harder to really meet new people as you get older, but you will as long as you don't stay at home all day. Join public activities, go to bars or whatever.
Also, don't settle for someone who doesn't actually make you happy for who they are or if you don't genuinely enjoy their company. There are ups and downs to any relationship, and there's no need for insane expectations (although anyone has their preferences), but this is the bare minimum for it to work long term. The rest is the effort you put in, but that should come naturally.
Dating is not hard when you understand what you are dealing with.
You can't make someone "be interested by you", like you can't just become interested by anyone you don't find interesting.
Dating in my eyes is about finding someone who you first find interesting and who is also interested by you. When you get that, it'll become very easy.
You can't make someone interested by you. Don't do that nonsense "pickup artist" bullshit and try to manipulate people.
At the same time, girls won't just suddenly appear in your life. Don't be an incel and think that girls must come to you, you have a move to make, especially as a man. You have to meet people and talk to them (difficult part).
A successful date is when you both are interested by each other and you make it easy for the other person. Dating is about "screening", not about manipulating/tricking someone. Be genuinely interested by the person, ask them questions, make them laugh, escalate things progressively if you are interested.
A healthy relationship in my eyes is when you both give unconditionally to the other person because you love them and like doing it to them specifically, it's not about expecting something in return but you should not settle for someone who does not reciprocate what you do.
Some people want a partner because they are horny or because they feel lonely. This is "neediness", it means you don't value the person, you just have a need to fulfill and so, you want a person to do it for you. "Neediness" is one of the things that you should avoid and you avoid that by having "abundance in your life".
The abundance mentality is a simple belief that there are plenty of amazing women out there to date so you don't have to "overfocus on one" and put a woman on a pedestal. The abundance mindset is also about realizing that you don't need a partner to be happy. You are already okay by yourself and you can do whatever you want by being single, simply being with someone will not make you happier. If you are bored, get new hobbies, read books, get into some physical activity (running, gym, tennis...)
Practical advice? Some people go for online dating, others go for cold approaching. I would say, go outside, try new things/hobbies that you genuinely want to do (don't prioritize women, this shouldn't be your priority). Continuously trying new things will make you have an abundant life where you may meet women in these hobbies or maybe not but this abundance mindset will attract people in your life. You have more stuff to discuss, more stuff to share, more opportunities to meet people, etc. Even if it's not women you meet, you will meet guys who will introduce you to them or maybe you don't meet anyone? However, wouldn't it be better to just go try new things you want to do in all cases?
You can't make someone "be interested by you", like you can't just become interested by anyone you don't find interesting.
Dating in my eyes is about finding someone who you first find interesting and who is also interested by you. When you get that, it'll become very easy.
You can't make someone interested by you. Don't do that nonsense "pickup artist" bullshit and try to manipulate people.
At the same time, girls won't just suddenly appear in your life. Don't be an incel and think that girls must come to you, you have a move to make, especially as a man. You have to meet people and talk to them (difficult part).
A successful date is when you both are interested by each other and you make it easy for the other person. Dating is about "screening", not about manipulating/tricking someone. Be genuinely interested by the person, ask them questions, make them laugh, escalate things progressively if you are interested.
A healthy relationship in my eyes is when you both give unconditionally to the other person because you love them and like doing it to them specifically, it's not about expecting something in return but you should not settle for someone who does not reciprocate what you do.
Some people want a partner because they are horny or because they feel lonely. This is "neediness", it means you don't value the person, you just have a need to fulfill and so, you want a person to do it for you. "Neediness" is one of the things that you should avoid and you avoid that by having "abundance in your life".
The abundance mentality is a simple belief that there are plenty of amazing women out there to date so you don't have to "overfocus on one" and put a woman on a pedestal. The abundance mindset is also about realizing that you don't need a partner to be happy. You are already okay by yourself and you can do whatever you want by being single, simply being with someone will not make you happier. If you are bored, get new hobbies, read books, get into some physical activity (running, gym, tennis...)
Practical advice? Some people go for online dating, others go for cold approaching. I would say, go outside, try new things/hobbies that you genuinely want to do (don't prioritize women, this shouldn't be your priority). Continuously trying new things will make you have an abundant life where you may meet women in these hobbies or maybe not but this abundance mindset will attract people in your life. You have more stuff to discuss, more stuff to share, more opportunities to meet people, etc. Even if it's not women you meet, you will meet guys who will introduce you to them or maybe you don't meet anyone? However, wouldn't it be better to just go try new things you want to do in all cases?
Everyone has different experiences thus everyone will give you a different answer for some dating leads to being happy with a person you cherish and love for the rest of your life, for others they had a bad experience with it and hesitant to date anyone else.
The short answer is, Dating can be hard or it can be easy peasy what's important is the effort you put into it, the care and love you and your partner show each other without those three elements working In tandem then the relationship is bound to fail
The short answer is, Dating can be hard or it can be easy peasy what's important is the effort you put into it, the care and love you and your partner show each other without those three elements working In tandem then the relationship is bound to fail