Mmmmhm.
I mostly keep track of my old games because I have a terrrrrrrible memory.
I have to keep links and bookmarks and an actual written record of my games because I have entire games where, I never remembered randing town or wolf in it, I dont remember what happened or who was in it, I dont remember saying a single thing I said that game.
It is like someone stole my account and played all those games and I was literally never in them.
So I track the old games and reread them sometimes. Just to read them with fresh eyes.
But playing over so many eras of mafia, over so many different site cultures, so many different accepted town and wolf expected behavior sets, I have had to radically adapt to so many things.
Moving from my casual dopey I vote you for no reason, clown emoji, website, to twoplustwo roughly 12 years ago, where people would 400 post single day phases, and I would barely crack 50 posts a day on my home site and be the most talking MFer by far.
That was strange. That was walking into a room full of me's and not knowing how to react. Some of them wayyyyy more me than even I could handle.
But I did it. Then I helped found the Mafia Universe site, wrote the code of conduct, served as moderator and head moderator for years, became an admin, and retired so I could play the games on the site I built instead of being mister stuffy moderator guy who just puts out brush fires between players.
I got SOOOOOOOO excited to play games when I didnt have to read reports and coach people on their behaviors.
Alas, my time on MU and some other sites is at an end. Sometimes, things just don't work out.
I think if I dont find a relatively safe new home to play soon, I will just retire. Its not worth the stresses.
But I keep trying to reignite the spark that made me want to play-
1. new friends
2. new memories to form
3. new people to dazzle with my wolf or town performances, see if I can show them something theyve never seen before.
Sometimes I instead make a big wet fart and impress no one, but you know. it happens.
I like forging those memories where you come in clutch, or do funny things, or make people laugh, or just.... find each other.
This one game in 2020, war of princes, me and some random guy i never played with before, had a day 1 playstyle difference disagreement. he was treating his friend a certain, untouchable way, and I just want people to play the game and their alignments, not form a masonry with their best friend every game.
Felt like not playing to wincon, ya know. So I was a little critical about it and felt half of the duo was wolfy, accused them. One got upset, and the other got upset their friend was upset, but it was all in the bounds of we're allowed to accuse people.
Anyway, day 2, we yeet a wolf together. Suddenly, opinion of me improves. he's secretly the town doctor, and he protects me that night, and I jail someone. zero deaths.
So day 3 starts and I announce I lied about who I was jailing, and jailed the same person I jailed night one. wolves were taken in by my lie, and they murdered the same target, both mafia families (two of them) whiffed.
I dunked a mafia day 3. it was a member of the other mafia family, back to back, with no town deaths in between.
Now my doctor loves my crazy ass, and we dunk a third mafia on day 4, and another one on day 5, and the mafia cant find my doctor and murder me.
We sweep the whole game, 6 wolves in a row, dead.
He reveals he was my doctor the whole time. And he might not have even ever protected me, if not for realizing he was town late day 1 and apologizing for sussing him and his friend.
Merely for being friendly with each other.
It's moments like that.... where you dont know a person. theyre a total stranger. and suddenly something happens, and a spark.
And youre just friends for life.
That man never stopped being my friend, even 5 years later, and that was the only game we ever played together.
Thats what brings me back to playing mafia, is the possibility that something like that could happen.
To new friends. Who are only strangers until they become our new friends.
cheers.
Like I said, I won't be on MU or certain other sites anymore for reasons.
I used to play on straight dope, but they turned their board into an infinite scroll, mobile friendly thing, and I just cant get used to playing mafia on it.
I hated it when people made the switch to xenforo forums for mafia playing, so I dont play on Novel Updates Forums or civilization fanatics forums anymore. I won't play on super toxic sites, either.
I have a list of sites I won't play on. And unless I find a place to call home I probably hang it up.
BUT.
I did get to randomly meet you, ekko, and have a blasty blast sweeping up a town. I did get to play that sub in game over on OLF where I made the game less toxic and accused all the wolves and townread all the townies.
Got to know fujishiro a lot better.
Met so many wonderful folks here.
That's what keeps me going, is the possibility of new fast friends. That always reignites the spark.
Sometimes the spark for the game fades, and there isn't a bunch of new friends.
Old friends move on.
Forums die, due to inactivity or toxicity, or bad staff.
Life goes on. Everything is temporary, and everything fades over time.
But temporary can still be a long time, and friends for life, even if life is temporary, feels like forever.
So, that's my thoughts
Being a wolf, has ABSOLUTELY lost its spark, for its own sake. but I got to forge friends with you and Rohan, and live up to Michelle's foreshadowing that she had found a "monster" to replace your inactive partner.
That's fun, of a sort.
But really, the fun I find is randing town, and protecting them from bad accusations, and dunking wolves with them, and forming memories that way.
Every town rand is a new adventure.
As someone who has burned out from playing at least 10 times, retired from playing at least that many times.
I know you can run out of gas, or desire to play, or fall out of love with it.
Even break up entirely with whole forums full of folks you used to enjoy playing with.
But the journey and the adventure and the friendships never end, if there's a new spark, new places, new people, new situations.
For however longer I play, or you do, I look at each single mafia game as if it might be my last.
Each new friend I make, might be the last new friend I make, over a 17 year mafia playing career.
But it might not be the last memory, or the last game, or the last new friend.
And if it is for you, or it is for me, you still have the good times to look back on.
As the final comic panel of the final Calvin and Hobbes comic said, and I never forgot-
My brain memory is bad. So, I write down everything, keep links to everything. Archive everything, so I can go back and read all the stories we wrote together by accident and on purpose.
I can see all the friends long gone, and the memories that have faded.
And each one is special enough to me that reliving it is ever so special, and I think, wow. I'd love to go on that roller coaster again with them. Or with someone new.
So the town mystery still appeals. New friends do. New places do. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.
But it's a magical world to explore, one more time, each and every time.
@EkkoLoJinx