Regarding "pirate standards": how about you also look at her way of governing her islands compared to Kaido's. They are not at all the same, and obviously she could object to Kaido's or his subordinate's treatment of the people. (There are probably some "hardcore BM fans" that brought that up before.)
Some are completely inured to their edgy, hardcore headcanon that has almost nothing to do with Big Mom anymore, of making up lines or not interpreting things correctly, ignoring her theme and individuality. Their extreme reactions have different reasons of their own than just finding some minor discrepancies.
Lol edgy, when did i defend this series, can you show me if i ever blindly defend this series? Trashing =/= critizing. I never care if people complaining about story, but im always annoyed when people trashing author directly, not only for OP, but for other series author.