One time I was arrested for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I was driving from Las Vegas to this lake up North to party spring break. I was hungry, plus I had to get some gas, so I stopped at a gas station in the middle of the desert. Two dudes walked into the gas station about 10 seconds before I did, and I thought nothing of it. Well as I was in the process of getting one of those shitty gas station hotdogs, I hear, "ok bitch, you know what time it is. Give me everything in the register and I won't have to fuck you up!" I look up (hotdog in hand) and I see the two dudes that walked in before me holding guns at the cashier. I looked at another customer and we both collectively said, "oh shit." When one of the robbers swung his gun around and pointed it right at us, my feet felt like cement. I couldn't move, and it felt like I was in a tunnel. The only thing I could do was give him a thumbs up in response to the gun being pointed at me (this action would come back to bite me in the ass).
To my surprise, the cashier was extremely calm. She was behind a glass enclosure and I saw her slide the cash window shut. She had a smirk on her face and said, "looks like we're all stuck here now." A robber said, "what the hell do you mean, stuck?" That's when I heard the front doors of the gas station lock. She must have pressed a button under the counter or something. The two dudes freaked out, and ran towards the door. The cashier said the cops are on the way and will be here in about five minutes.
At this point I'm relieved, but then I got worried because I thought they may take myself or the other customer as hostages. I look around and see one of those walk-in beer freezers. I muster up the courage to head in its direction and I signal the other customer to come with me. As we inch towards the freezer, I see the lights of a police car pull up and the two robbers instantly put their hands up and drop to their knees. The cops did their job and was escorting them out when I hear the cashier say, "don't forget him, he's with them. I saw him give a thumbs up to one of them, it was obviously the signal to rob me." Dumbfounded, I tried to plead my case, but the cops weren't having it. They tossed me to the ground, place their knees in my back, and cuffed me. I was led out and tossed in the back of a cop car like the real robbers.
I was going through a thousand scenarios in my mind about how fucked I am, and how I could get out of the situation. Luckily, the customer that I was held up at gunpoint with, ran out and started waiving and yelling at the cops. I couldn't hear what he was saying but he kept pointing to me and finally the cops turned around. He then opened the door and said, "you're free to go".
I thanked the cops, bought three cases of beer for the other customer, finished my drive to the lake, and got fuuuuuuuuucked up.
Thanks for reading to my smoked filled Ted talk 😤
