I was thinking about Kaido's "achievements", and honestly...
What did this fish actually achieve by himself?
Because every time you look into his little Wano operation, someone else is doing the planning while Kaido is there to hit things.
---
WANO
People act like Kaido just walked into Wano and bullied the whole country into submission.
Never happened.
The Kurozumi had been planning the takeover long before Kaido arrived.
Higurashi manipulated Orochi.
Orochi gathered money and weapons.
They infiltrated the Kozuki regime.
They manipulated the succession.
They even had Higurashi impersonate Sukiyaki so Orochi could become Shogun.
Then they brought Kaido in.
The arrangement was basically:
Kurozumi gets Wano.
Kaido gets weapons.
So who actually planned the takeover?
Kurozumi.
Kaido was their henchman.
And he couldn't simply overpower Oden either.
So the Kurozumi used hostages to force him into a deal.
Oden stopped fighting.
Then, for five years, his reputation was destroyed while Kaido's forces grew stronger.
That's the actual strategy:
divide Wano -> isolate Oden -> weaken the country -> let Kaido finish the job.
Even when Oden finally fights Kaido, Higurashi has to disguise herself as little Momonosuke and distract him so Kaido can land the decisive blow.
---
HIS AZURE DRAGON POWER
Then there's the Fish-Fish Fruit, Model: Azure Dragon.
Linlin was Kaido's benefactor/older sister during the Rocks Pirates.
At God Valley, she obtains the fruit.
Was Kaido chosen by it?
No.
Did he find it?
No.
Did he earn it?
No.
LINLIN HAD IT.
Kaido ambushes her during the chaos, takes the fruit and runs.
That's the power behind his entire "invincible"/"strongest creature" reputation.
His whole theme as a pirate...
So even Kaido's most important power comes from his dear older sister.
.
---
HIS RARE DEVIL FRUITS
Surely Kaido could at least protect the Devil Fruits he collected?
No.
CHILDREN STOLE THEM.
Ulti stole the Dragon-Dragon Fruit, Model: Pachycephalosaurus and Dragon-Dragon Fruit, Model: Spinosaurus from Kaido's collection for herself and Page One.
And Yamato ate the Dog-Dog Fruit, Model: Okuchi-no-Makami that Kaido had gone through the trouble of obtaining.
.
---
SMILE
"But Kaido built his army himself."
No.
Caesar handled SAD and the scientific side.
Doflamingo handled the SMILE operation and underworld distribution.
Kaido was a customer.
---
AND THE WORLD WAR WASN'T EVEN HIS PLAN
This is the part I find the funniest.
Yonkoplebs talk about his plan to start a massive war like he spent years masterminding it.
Doflamingo came up with the plan.
The idea was to use Kaido's military power, Wano's weapons and the SMILE army to create massive global conflict.
Kaido wasn't the mastermind behind it.
He was a pawn.
That's why he needs Joker in the first place.
His "great war machine" depends on Doflamingo's operation.
.
---
Now look at the whole picture.
Wano takeover?
Kurozumi.
Wano's weakening?
Kurozumi.
Azure Dragon?
Linlin.
SMILE production?
Caesar.
SMILE network?
Doflamingo.
World War plan?
Doflamingo.
Rare Devil Fruits?
Stolen by children.
And Kaido?
Gets drunk and cry a lot.
.
---
How does he treat those who helped him.
Orochi?
Killed.
Kurozumi?
Used and discarded.
Linlin?
Ambushed for her Devil Fruit, then betrayed.
Doflamingo?
Used until his operation collapsed.
There's a pattern here.
Someone else creates the opportunity.
Kaido exploits it.
Kaido gets stronger.
Then he discards the people who made it possible.
Wait a minute.
Isn't that basically a parasite?
A parasite doesn't create the host.
It finds something useful and feeds on it.
That's Kaido.
He feeds on the Kurozumi's plan.
He feeds on Linlin's power.
He feeds on Doflamingo's network.
He feeds on Caesar's science.
He feeds on Wano's resources.
Then he takes credit for the result.
.
---
So when Yonkoplebs talk about his little empire... what did he actually achieved?
The Kurozumi planned the takeover.
The Kurozumi weakened Wano.
Doflamingo created the SMILE network.
Caesar created the SMILEs.
Doflamingo came up with the World War plan.
Linlin provided the opportunity for his Azure Dragon power.
Even his rare Devil Fruits were stolen by children.
.
What did this fish actually achieve by himself?
Because every time you look into his little Wano operation, someone else is doing the planning while Kaido is there to hit things.
---
WANO
People act like Kaido just walked into Wano and bullied the whole country into submission.
Never happened.
The Kurozumi had been planning the takeover long before Kaido arrived.
Higurashi manipulated Orochi.
Orochi gathered money and weapons.
They infiltrated the Kozuki regime.
They manipulated the succession.
They even had Higurashi impersonate Sukiyaki so Orochi could become Shogun.
Then they brought Kaido in.
The arrangement was basically:
Kurozumi gets Wano.
Kaido gets weapons.
So who actually planned the takeover?
Kurozumi.
Kaido was their henchman.
And he couldn't simply overpower Oden either.
So the Kurozumi used hostages to force him into a deal.
Oden stopped fighting.
Then, for five years, his reputation was destroyed while Kaido's forces grew stronger.
That's the actual strategy:
divide Wano -> isolate Oden -> weaken the country -> let Kaido finish the job.
Even when Oden finally fights Kaido, Higurashi has to disguise herself as little Momonosuke and distract him so Kaido can land the decisive blow.
---
HIS AZURE DRAGON POWER
Then there's the Fish-Fish Fruit, Model: Azure Dragon.
Linlin was Kaido's benefactor/older sister during the Rocks Pirates.
At God Valley, she obtains the fruit.
Was Kaido chosen by it?
No.
Did he find it?
No.
Did he earn it?
No.
LINLIN HAD IT.
Kaido ambushes her during the chaos, takes the fruit and runs.
That's the power behind his entire "invincible"/"strongest creature" reputation.
His whole theme as a pirate...
So even Kaido's most important power comes from his dear older sister.
.---
HIS RARE DEVIL FRUITS
Surely Kaido could at least protect the Devil Fruits he collected?
No.
CHILDREN STOLE THEM.
Ulti stole the Dragon-Dragon Fruit, Model: Pachycephalosaurus and Dragon-Dragon Fruit, Model: Spinosaurus from Kaido's collection for herself and Page One.
And Yamato ate the Dog-Dog Fruit, Model: Okuchi-no-Makami that Kaido had gone through the trouble of obtaining.
.---
SMILE
"But Kaido built his army himself."
No.
Caesar handled SAD and the scientific side.
Doflamingo handled the SMILE operation and underworld distribution.
Kaido was a customer.
---
AND THE WORLD WAR WASN'T EVEN HIS PLAN
This is the part I find the funniest.
Yonkoplebs talk about his plan to start a massive war like he spent years masterminding it.
Doflamingo came up with the plan.
The idea was to use Kaido's military power, Wano's weapons and the SMILE army to create massive global conflict.
Kaido wasn't the mastermind behind it.
He was a pawn.
That's why he needs Joker in the first place.
His "great war machine" depends on Doflamingo's operation.
.---
Now look at the whole picture.
Wano takeover?
Kurozumi.
Wano's weakening?
Kurozumi.
Azure Dragon?
Linlin.
SMILE production?
Caesar.
SMILE network?
Doflamingo.
World War plan?
Doflamingo.
Rare Devil Fruits?
Stolen by children.
And Kaido?
Gets drunk and cry a lot.
.---
How does he treat those who helped him.
Orochi?
Killed.
Kurozumi?
Used and discarded.
Linlin?
Ambushed for her Devil Fruit, then betrayed.
Doflamingo?
Used until his operation collapsed.
There's a pattern here.
Someone else creates the opportunity.
Kaido exploits it.
Kaido gets stronger.
Then he discards the people who made it possible.
Wait a minute.
Isn't that basically a parasite?
A parasite doesn't create the host.
It finds something useful and feeds on it.
That's Kaido.
He feeds on the Kurozumi's plan.
He feeds on Linlin's power.
He feeds on Doflamingo's network.
He feeds on Caesar's science.
He feeds on Wano's resources.
Then he takes credit for the result.
.---
So when Yonkoplebs talk about his little empire... what did he actually achieved?
The Kurozumi planned the takeover.
The Kurozumi weakened Wano.
Doflamingo created the SMILE network.
Caesar created the SMILEs.
Doflamingo came up with the World War plan.
Linlin provided the opportunity for his Azure Dragon power.
Even his rare Devil Fruits were stolen by children.
.
