Kizaruber Eats

Awkwardly existing in a world of chaos.

"Fiendering" (A One Piece Fandom Parody)

[Verse 1: The Fans]
At first, I didn’t realize,
I needed all this spice,
I had my One Piece manga,
And that was paradise.
A place where I could argue,
A place where I could scream,
But now I need spoilers,
My soul’s shattered at the seams!

[Pre-Chorus: The Fans]
And I need a bigger thread!
I need a bigger leak!
A bigger chart, a bigger map,
A bigger ship with Zoro’s feats!

[Chorus: The Fans]
Because I’m fiendering (YES, fiendering!)
I’m wailing on powerscaling!
And fiendering is triggering
More fiendering!


[Verse 2: Oda]
Hey, listen up, meatheads!
I’mma say this once, and I'm not gonna repeat it!
You know, fan theories are like wild fire, alright?
The more you go and feed 'em,
The more they spread!
But hey, don’t blame me!
It’s all about money, see?
You think I’m out here making One Piece for art? Nah—
I’ve got an agenda!
It’s got this beautiful worm inside,
And that worm's called “make ‘em cry harder”
You get it!?
But the more you chase those leaks,
The more they slip through your fingers!
It’s like Dragon Ball tier fanfiction,
But with “theories” for every character!
You wanna know if Law is secretly Roger's son?
Nah, screw that—Luffy’s gonna beat up the moon first!

See now, that’s why you’re fiendering! (Why you're fiendering!)
Listen here, idiots! (And fiendering!)
And wailing on powerscaling! (And wailing on powerscaling!)
But that fiendering’s just triggering more fiendering!
(But that fiendering’s just triggering more fiendering!)
Got that!? Alright!


[Verse 3: The Fans]
There’s a principle of fandom
That every fanboy knows:
It’s called survival of the headcanon
And here's how the chaos goes:
The fan that posts the biggest feat,
Gets the most likes, of course!
While the fan who doesn’t post,
Sits there crying with no source!

“Zoro can cut planets!”
“Sanji can kick anything!”
“Luffy beat the whole ocean, man—
No one’s topping this king!”

And then there’s Shanks, bro—
I don't even know—
Why do you guys keep crying 'bout his lack of powers?
It’s a mystery!
Does he even have Devil Fruit powers?
Wait, can we talk about the bounty system, though?!

[Chorus: The Fans]
I must keep fiendering (And fiendering!)
I’m wailing on powerscaling (Powerscaling!)
Though fiendering is triggering more fiendering,
I won’t stop fiendering (I won’t stop fiendering!),
I’m wailing on powerscaling,
And fiendering is triggering more fiendering!


[Outro: The Fans]
With my theories multiplying,
And my leaks certified by sources online,
(I must keep fiendering, I’m wailing on powerscaling!)
And the PR leaks definitely lying,
(Though fiendering is triggering more fiendering!)
Who cares if I get every theory wrong?
(I won’t stop fiendering, I’m wailing on powerscaling!)
I don’t want to hear your cries about spoilers,
(And fiendering is triggering more fiendering!)
This is all so satisfying!

(Narrator voice):
“Fiending for spoilers: the eternal cycle that brings joy and chaos to every One Piece fan’s week.
Tune in next time for more agendas and baseless theories!”

(Cut to Oda laughing maniacally as Buggy gets another bounty increase.)





"How Mad Can I Be?"

[Verse 1: The Fans]
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? I’m just wailing on power scaling
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? I’m just following this theory
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? I’m just wailing on the Bounty
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? How mad can I possibly be?

Well, there’s a principle of theories (theories everywhere)
That almost every fanboy knows
It’s called survival of the shipping (survival of the shipping)
And trust me, this is how it goes:
The fanbase that wins gotta downvote and disagree and mock and fight and whine
And the fan that doesn't (well, the fan that doesn't) winds up
Getting dunked on every time! (Crybaby, crybaby, crybaby!)
I’m just sayin’!

[Chorus: The Fans]
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? I’m just wailing on power scaling
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? I’m just following this theory
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? I’m just wailing on the Bounty
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? How mad can I possibly be?

[Verse 2: Oda’s "Evil Genius" Self]
Well, there’s a principle in marketing (principle in marketing)
That everybody knows is pure
It says the fans who leak the spoilers (fans who leak the spoilers)
Make this crazy world endure!
So I’m biggering my manga, I’m biggering my chapters,
I’m biggering my flashbacks
Everybody out there can keep crying all day,
I’ll just cash in on your rage, rage, rage, rage, rage! (Hyped for the next arc!)
Let me hear you scream "Shanks is God!" (Shanks is God)
"Zoro's always right!" (Zoro’s always right!)
“Sanji’s a simp!” (Sanji’s a simp!)
Complain all you want, I’ll keep trolling with my new theories! (I keep trolling!)

Come on, how mad can I possibly be?

[Chorus: The Fans]
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? I’m just building the economy
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? Just look at me posting my puppy
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? A portion of spoilers goes to chat (Just kidding!)
How ma-a-a-ad can I be? How mad can I possibly be? Let’s see!

(How ma-a-a-ad can he be?) All the customers are buying!
(How ma-a-a-ad can he be?) All the leaks are multiplying!
(How ma-a-a-ad can he be?) And the PR people are lying!
(How ma-a-a-ad can he be?) And the theories are denying!
(How ma-a-a-ad can he be?) Who cares if the manga's dying?
(How ma-a-a-ad can he be?) This is all so gratifying!

How mad? How mad can this possibly be?
 
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