The Crappiest Conspiracy Theory: Rise of the Bidet

[CoC: Color of Clowns]

https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/1idn8k7
My favorite part about this is people trying to say using a bidet is gay.

Like, how is cleaning your asshole gay? The fuck?

Ugh.

Think of the ecological waste. Imagine the ecological benefit to installing bidets in public restrooms?

Make my ass sparkle, baby

 

[MonochromeYoru]

I thought this was somehow related to the new chapter lol

maybe it is...

 

[Mr. Reloaded]

I thought this was somehow related to the new chapter lol

maybe it is...

It probably is lol

 

[Owl Ki]

Woman has anus.

Woman has no penis.

Therefore butt play be less gay than pee pee play.

Therefore bidet be no gay.

Facts.

 

[CoC: Color of Clowns]

I thought this was somehow related to the new chapter lol

maybe it is...

LOL

No, this is just crazy clown man ranting about the failures of modern society. I also HATE the toilet in my house, so that's another factor.

https://www.skyquestt.com/report/toilet-paper-market

"Toilet Paper Market size was valued at USD 55.5 billion in 2023 and is poised to grow from USD 58.05 billion in 2024 to USD 83.19 billion by 2032, growing at a CAGR of 4.6% during the forecast period (2025-2032)."

Like, everyone shits.

This is a serious conspiracy, the recycling efforts are nice, but, it's way easier to purify water than take random used BS and turn it into toilet paper.

 

[Owl Ki]

It is pretty funny how there are folk that wash every part of their body except the anus. You would think people should logically want a device dedicated to washing the literal dirtiest part of the body but nah, just raw dog that hole with a dry, wafer thin piece of dead, dessicated tree.

 

[CoC: Color of Clowns]

It is pretty funny how there are folk that wash every part of their body except the anus. You would think people should logically want a device dedicated to washing the literal dirtiest part of the body but nah, just raw dog that hole with a dry, wafer thin piece of dead, dessicated tree.

RIGHT???

I thought it was just a problem furries had, but, nope.

So many people out here walking around grinding their dried shit particles between their cheeks.

And then there's the societies that use sand as toilet paper, which both interests and terrifies my ass, literally.

 

[Owl Ki]

And then there's the societies that use sand as toilet paper, which both interests and terrifies my ass, literally.

I guess that would make sense for nomadic tribes of desert dwellers with little water to spare but that sounds horrifying regardless.

 

[CoC: Color of Clowns]

I guess that would make sense for nomadic tribes of desert dwellers with little water to spare but that sounds horrifying regardless.

I mean, as long as you have water to help, it's not the worst idea.

You know how dogs drag their asses against carpets to itch and wipe them?

We could do that with sand easily enough.

Technically a lot of dirt is just dried out poop to begin with.

 

[Bisoromi Bear]

You'd still have to dry it afterwards. With toilet paper.

 

[Daniel]

The General Discussion section hardly gets any activity in terms of new threads recently, but this thread in particular is really, really bad.

 

[NAMELESS]

Joe bidet?

 

[CoC: Color of Clowns]

Joe bidet?

Threads over, NAMELESS wins, pack it up.

We've have plenty of presidents, it's time for a bidet president.

"Make American Assholes Great Again" is actually a hilarious slogan now that I think about it

 

[Monster Zoro's Tesla Supplier]

The General Discussion section hardly gets any activity in terms of new threads recently, but this thread in particular is really, really bad.

CoC went off the deep end a long time ago
Threads like this don't surprise me anymore in fact I sort of expect them