WG Support Thread
- Thread starter SmokedOut
- Start date
G
I've ended up quitting my jobs because of some severe personal reasons, I was working 2 voluntary jobs and I was using them to try to distract from my grandmother's death and thus avoid confronting it and grieving.
My health has really plummeted and I've realised, I'm only cut out for something like office work or working from home realistically speaking too, so I'm working on a way to earn money from home. It's for the best given my circumstances.
I'm under severe amounts of stress lately, the worst I've experienced yet so far but I can't give up either. My mum is forcing herself into work even though she had to quit due to severe health reasons too (she has long covid and fibromylagia at least but she's had risks of cancer, heart failure/attacks, diabetes etc like myself too).
Right now I'm desperately trying to keep myself together and my friends who I supported daily for years IRL when their brother had terminal cancer and lost close relatives are not being supportive at all, which doesn't help.
My family are being much worse than that too.
I thought I finally had direction and purpose in life again but I'm back to square one, with no clue where to go, what to do or what I can plan for myself.
My health keeps getting worse but I've forced myself to rest constantly these past few weeks, especially due to my viral infection atm and its the most I've slept in months too by far, I went a couple of months of almost no sleep every single day whilst working 4 days a week almost full-time and I've had to stop like with my previous jobs as my health has plummeted drastically too.
If anything I'm being forced to learn self care once and for all, before it's too late like with my grandmother especially but also some other relatives including my grandfather and mother as they're making the same mistakes she did and they've learned nothing from losing her and what happened to her.
I wish I had respected health, my mind and body a lot more both recently and in the distant past, I'm really paying the price for it now and I cannot emphasise how truly underestimated and vital self care is.
Most of us are just killing ourselves gradually over a very long time, accelerating our eventual deaths by poor self care, overexertion, lack of self respect, toxic habits/vices etc. I mean most of us in the world, even though most of us have to work extremely hard and long just to try to survive, name ends meet and "be free" too.
My health has really plummeted and I've realised, I'm only cut out for something like office work or working from home realistically speaking too, so I'm working on a way to earn money from home. It's for the best given my circumstances.
I'm under severe amounts of stress lately, the worst I've experienced yet so far but I can't give up either. My mum is forcing herself into work even though she had to quit due to severe health reasons too (she has long covid and fibromylagia at least but she's had risks of cancer, heart failure/attacks, diabetes etc like myself too).
Right now I'm desperately trying to keep myself together and my friends who I supported daily for years IRL when their brother had terminal cancer and lost close relatives are not being supportive at all, which doesn't help.
My family are being much worse than that too.
I thought I finally had direction and purpose in life again but I'm back to square one, with no clue where to go, what to do or what I can plan for myself.
My health keeps getting worse but I've forced myself to rest constantly these past few weeks, especially due to my viral infection atm and its the most I've slept in months too by far, I went a couple of months of almost no sleep every single day whilst working 4 days a week almost full-time and I've had to stop like with my previous jobs as my health has plummeted drastically too.
If anything I'm being forced to learn self care once and for all, before it's too late like with my grandmother especially but also some other relatives including my grandfather and mother as they're making the same mistakes she did and they've learned nothing from losing her and what happened to her.
I wish I had respected health, my mind and body a lot more both recently and in the distant past, I'm really paying the price for it now and I cannot emphasise how truly underestimated and vital self care is.
Most of us are just killing ourselves gradually over a very long time, accelerating our eventual deaths by poor self care, overexertion, lack of self respect, toxic habits/vices etc. I mean most of us in the world, even though most of us have to work extremely hard and long just to try to survive, name ends meet and "be free" too.
Last edited by a moderator:
I've been on both ends.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT86yW7QE/
Here's a guy that advocates for those struggling with suicide and uses his own misfortune as a means to educate and provide a look into a potential future where your attempt fails, where your thoughts turn into actions.
Regardless of whether you have suicidal ideation over something so violent like guns, pills, wrist splitting, and anything else - it does damage you.
Swallowing a lethal amount of pills (which are never quite lethal) can damage your organs and leave you with lifelong problems, nerve damage from both gunshot wounds and wrist injuries and possible multiple infections and MRSA (which I've had - you don't want this) can occur.
Suicide attempts can go so, so wrong. And they often do.
And I used to abhor, truly abhor, what appeared like hippy bullshit that Face Mcshooty is giving to his audience.
"You have to think of the mess you leave behind."
"You do get past it."
This man was homeless, drug addicted, and lived on and off in unstable conditions and saw things that he should not have seen. He was at rock bottom, always. And the day he did it? He didn't get his brain stem. He's got a life long deformity and lifelong complications to his actions. There's truth to rock bottoms and mishaps that wind up changing one's entire perspective on suicide for a reason. And it's hard to decondition your brain to reach beyond "nothing gets better."
You don't care now, you assume that life doesn't get better - but ask yourself - where are you at right now? Are you living in the same environment that exacerbates your poor mental health?
How often are you neglecting yourself? How often do you go out and look at the night stars and rather than say "we're so insignificant that it's pointless and I am too."
Why not say, in your darkest hours, "I feel worthless but god, the stars are so beautiful and the sky is immaculate."
There are days regardless of how rare they are where you look in the mirror and see yourself as someone who has potential. Everyone on this planet who struggles with suicide has had days that feel so surreal yet kind. But it isn't held on to for long. It becomes a danger instead. It becomes a threat. You don't want that to go away and you become so used to the putdowns, everything life throws at you, everything that fails to get better.
Here's a harsh reality: even after you get out of the headspace you're in, it keeps coming. But you learn to navigate those waves and your grief. They become easier to just take in instead of letting a sea of lament devour you. That is what people mean by the fact it gets better.
Sadness is a state. Anger is a state. Happiness is a state. There is no such thing as this magical continual happiness that you obtain in life. The same applies the anger. It passes. You simply just have far more struggle with the sadness and that sadness takes over and shoved those happy moments down. That's what the sadness wants you to do.
Experience it.
Let yourself experience it.
Let yourself experience it all.
I theorize that the brain that struggles with ideation and depression causes a person to have a very weak sense of survival and overrides the need to keep persisting in a way that other humans do.
Persevere.
I am 27. I don't know how young many of you are, but at 25, things changed. I was shown compassion. And I finally gave a chance to show compassion to myself. I'm sure many of you have experienced very little compassion through life through various circumstances. And there's this icky feeling and vulnerability to finally giving into consideration experiencing life beyond your ghosts and your brain failing you.
There's a reason that OP promises you that, and there's a reason Mcshooty does too.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT86yW7QE/
Here's a guy that advocates for those struggling with suicide and uses his own misfortune as a means to educate and provide a look into a potential future where your attempt fails, where your thoughts turn into actions.
Regardless of whether you have suicidal ideation over something so violent like guns, pills, wrist splitting, and anything else - it does damage you.
Swallowing a lethal amount of pills (which are never quite lethal) can damage your organs and leave you with lifelong problems, nerve damage from both gunshot wounds and wrist injuries and possible multiple infections and MRSA (which I've had - you don't want this) can occur.
Suicide attempts can go so, so wrong. And they often do.
And I used to abhor, truly abhor, what appeared like hippy bullshit that Face Mcshooty is giving to his audience.
"You have to think of the mess you leave behind."
"You do get past it."
This man was homeless, drug addicted, and lived on and off in unstable conditions and saw things that he should not have seen. He was at rock bottom, always. And the day he did it? He didn't get his brain stem. He's got a life long deformity and lifelong complications to his actions. There's truth to rock bottoms and mishaps that wind up changing one's entire perspective on suicide for a reason. And it's hard to decondition your brain to reach beyond "nothing gets better."
You don't care now, you assume that life doesn't get better - but ask yourself - where are you at right now? Are you living in the same environment that exacerbates your poor mental health?
How often are you neglecting yourself? How often do you go out and look at the night stars and rather than say "we're so insignificant that it's pointless and I am too."
Why not say, in your darkest hours, "I feel worthless but god, the stars are so beautiful and the sky is immaculate."
There are days regardless of how rare they are where you look in the mirror and see yourself as someone who has potential. Everyone on this planet who struggles with suicide has had days that feel so surreal yet kind. But it isn't held on to for long. It becomes a danger instead. It becomes a threat. You don't want that to go away and you become so used to the putdowns, everything life throws at you, everything that fails to get better.
Here's a harsh reality: even after you get out of the headspace you're in, it keeps coming. But you learn to navigate those waves and your grief. They become easier to just take in instead of letting a sea of lament devour you. That is what people mean by the fact it gets better.
Sadness is a state. Anger is a state. Happiness is a state. There is no such thing as this magical continual happiness that you obtain in life. The same applies the anger. It passes. You simply just have far more struggle with the sadness and that sadness takes over and shoved those happy moments down. That's what the sadness wants you to do.
Experience it.
Let yourself experience it.
Let yourself experience it all.
I theorize that the brain that struggles with ideation and depression causes a person to have a very weak sense of survival and overrides the need to keep persisting in a way that other humans do.
Persevere.
I am 27. I don't know how young many of you are, but at 25, things changed. I was shown compassion. And I finally gave a chance to show compassion to myself. I'm sure many of you have experienced very little compassion through life through various circumstances. And there's this icky feeling and vulnerability to finally giving into consideration experiencing life beyond your ghosts and your brain failing you.
There's a reason that OP promises you that, and there's a reason Mcshooty does too.
It's an ouroboros, Middy.
But you know what? You have this entire forum and OLF right behind you.
And me, because I enjoy proving people wrong.
Fun anecdote: One of my good friends is in his 30s and it's slowly clicking when I told him to keep exercising, hydrating, and truly attempt to direct his negative thoughts toward himself and instead attempt to give compassion.
He came back and told me he was ready to write it off and dismiss it and he instead said the magical words: Maybe there's something to this.
But you know what? You have this entire forum and OLF right behind you.
And me, because I enjoy proving people wrong.
Fun anecdote: One of my good friends is in his 30s and it's slowly clicking when I told him to keep exercising, hydrating, and truly attempt to direct his negative thoughts toward himself and instead attempt to give compassion.
He came back and told me he was ready to write it off and dismiss it and he instead said the magical words: Maybe there's something to this.