You touched on age, which has a hell of a lot to do with it…we have adolescent kids to middle aged adults here, largely male and European, so the gamut of behavior and self-control varies too wildly to get any sort of universal moral standard. Honestly, as one of the older folks myself, I know I add to the toxicity at times - I don’t use slurs or make threats, but I definitely insult people when I’m attacked first (or I feel like starting something). I’ve also been known to apologize publicly and privately, which again has elicited some good responses as well as some bad ones. We all have to be able to own up when we’re fuckheads if this is gonna work, and like you said, that’s the only real solution for this problem.