but that's too tinfoily
not gonna bother with it this game. tired of this crap and feeling embarrassed by my existence in these games smh
I don't really know where the embarrassment comes from. I think you're your own worst enemy on this actually, to be blunt, you seem to have no respect for your own process. I will not tell someone not to change their process if they feel they need to, but there should be no shame associated with it regardless. You are the only person who is criticising it, and this will probably keep spiralling until you gain some confidence within it. Even if you have a new approach, without having the confidence that your process can hold its own, you will end up with the exact same sentiments that you are expressing here.
Which is a long way of saying, do your own thing. If you need to explore fringe scenarios, explore away.