Ohk I'm concerned about you now.
You alright?
No, I'm always this fucked up. I just try to spread laughter and goofy stuff, because the more you post about depressing shit, the more you post about depressing shit. A YouTuber (AstroidVideos, does Pokemon content/Persona stuff on occasion) taught me that it's worth it to be positive and kind to people, even if you just feel like crap. I get frustrated with myself because I'm way better at being positive over the internet than IRL. I swear at inanimate objects like they poisoned my crops and water supply regularly, LOL.
When you think of how happy people could be in life, and see what their lives are actually like, it's just fucking hard sometimes, you know?
If most people were happy, and I was fucked up, I could accept that world. Seeing so many people I like going through it for dumb reasons just wears on me. My sister is such a kind person, and seeing my country's politics and religion destroy her hope and happiness is hard to watch.
At some point, you just want to distract yourself, but, dwelling in delusions/distractions is bad as well.
That's where I'm at.
Reality is so disappointing I just chose fiction over it constantly, to the point I'll write entire essays over ZKK and shit, LOL.