CoC: Color of Clowns

Hentai = Interdimensional Voyeurism
Vegapunk starts streaming

-We see Mihawk at the mall, he goes into a Shewin-Williams Paint Store, he buys a gallon jug of black paint. The world is silent as the footage cuts to Mihawk in his castle, painstakingly painting his blade Yoru black, while listening to a shady videotape made by "Shivers Railguy" titled "Totally Roger Pirate Tell All On How to Stall Vista For At Least Five Minutes, Maybe Even Six".

-Zoro starts crying as Mihawk says, "Thank god Shanks lost that arm in the East Blue, his Haki was getting way too much for me. Good thing that Zoro kid teleported here so I could mislead him about how to make a Black Blade. If Zoro ever got a Black Blade with his Haki, I'd be so fucked."
-Mihawk sighs, as says, "Damn, this paintbrush is heavy, my carpel tunnel is acting up. Need some more booze. BUUUUURRRRRP! Whoops!"
-There's a ripping sound, and Mihawk's belly bursts out from his clothes, his corset failing to contain his concealed, cladestine rolls made from late nights drinking wine, scarfing down buttered croissants, and watching animal documentaries about bats humping. Mihawk giggles, resets his corset, then heads to the kitchen.

-Lucci hugs Zoro as Zoro collapses to his knees, shaking his head.
-Mihawk flinches as the Den Den Mushi rings, then sighs and answers it, hoping it's another fanboy he can use his fame to extort money from.
-On the other line, he hears, "Hey, Mihawk. It's me, Crocodile."
-Mihawk craps his pants, runs to the corner of the room, and mutters to himself, "Oh, god, is he going to come kill me? Crap, crap, crap... no, stay cool, maybe he just wants to talk about that time he almost killed me at Marineford..."

The stream ends, as Vegapunk shouts out, "MIFRAUD SUCKS, COCKING HAKI SCRUB! GRANDMASTER WORO NUMBER ONE FOREVER! ZKK IS REALLLLLLL!"

Epic double spread of Shanks crying as Beckman whispers to Roux, "Fuck, does that mean our boss's biggest feats are all fraudulent??? No wonder the Sea Beast got his arm, fuck, pre-Alvida East Blue Luffy low-diffed Lord of the Coast with one Gomu Gomu no Pistol." Yasopp nods, and says, "It takes a deadbeat fraud to know a deadbeat fraud. I only abandoned my own child, Shanks finds strays, then ditches them for kicks. Fuck this clown, let's go join a real Yonkou, like Buggy!"

Zoro embraces Lucci while weeping and holding Wado Ichimonji high in the air, and declares, "I AM THE STRONGEST SWORDSMEN IN THE WORLD! AND THAT TITLE MEANS FUCKING NOTHING, GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!"

Saturn gasps as he senses a presence he hasn't felt since the Void Century.

As Zoro and Lucci are both decapitated at the same time, blood drips from a familiar mustache, and Saturn shouts, "He's returned! The True Strongest Swordsman in the World! The Postponement God, Vista!"

Kizaru faints from Vista's Haki as Vista stares down Luffy and Saturn.

Vista: "There's only room enough for one God in this world. Come, then: the two of you together might make me use 5% of my mustache's true power."

Luffy: "Aw hell nah! Gomu Gomu no Shit Escape Rocket!" Luffy's poops so much he flees the battle by entering outer space.

Saturn: "...Join me, Vista, and we can take over the world, together!"

Vista: "No! All I want... is to fuck up this series's power scaling, until One Piece sword cucks destroy the real world in their outrageous anger!"

(double spread of reaction panels, the world is stunned)

Editor's Note: The most evil pirate in the world declares his true intention! Will Vista's nonsensical power-scaling be enough to cause Zoro and Mihawk fans in the real world to trigger the apocalypse, now that Zoro's dream has been shown to be an impossible sham?!? Only Sanji and Shanks fans can defend the world from this manga swordsman's insidious designs!!!"



Alright back to Persona 3 Reload
 
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