Controversial Is dating really as hard as some people say it is?

Uncle Van

Bullets don't hurt. But Taxes do.
#83
Dating is only difficult for those who have crazy standards. It's all about simply getting along and enjoying each other's company. Some act like they got some check list and all of them must check out or else it's a no go, as if it's some type of inspection lol. Keep your dignity and have some standards though. There are important things about yourself that you shouldn't compromise. It will never work out if you do.
 
#84
lol that’s tough
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Dating is only difficult for those who have crazy standards. It's all about simply getting along and enjoying each other's company. Some act like they got some check list and all of them must check out or else it's a no go, as if it's some type of inspection lol. Keep your dignity and have some standards though. There are important things about yourself that you shouldn't compromise. It will never work out if you do.
Have to set boundaries as man, that’s why it’s easier to date the one you’re not attracted to. If you date ur “crush”, you will just get crushed.
 
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#85
Dating is not hard when you understand what you are dealing with.

You can't make someone "be interested by you", like you can't just become interested by anyone you don't find interesting.

Dating in my eyes is about finding someone who you first find interesting and who is also interested by you. When you get that, it'll become very easy.

You can't make someone interested by you. Don't do that nonsense "pickup artist" bullshit and try to manipulate people.

At the same time, girls won't just suddenly appear in your life. Don't be an incel and think that girls must come to you, you have a move to make, especially as a man. You have to meet people and talk to them (difficult part).

A successful date is when you both are interested by each other and you make it easy for the other person. Dating is about "screening", not about manipulating/tricking someone. Be genuinely interested by the person, ask them questions, make them laugh, escalate things progressively if you are interested.

A healthy relationship in my eyes is when you both give unconditionally to the other person because you love them and like doing it to them specifically, it's not about expecting something in return but you should not settle for someone who does not reciprocate what you do.

Some people want a partner because they are horny or because they feel lonely. This is "neediness", it means you don't value the person, you just have a need to fulfill and so, you want a person to do it for you. "Neediness" is one of the things that you should avoid and you avoid that by having "abundance in your life".

The abundance mentality is a simple belief that there are plenty of amazing women out there to date so you don't have to "overfocus on one" and put a woman on a pedestal. The abundance mindset is also about realizing that you don't need a partner to be happy. You are already okay by yourself and you can do whatever you want by being single, simply being with someone will not make you happier. If you are bored, get new hobbies, read books, get into some physical activity (running, gym, tennis...)

Practical advice? Some people go for online dating, others go for cold approaching. I would say, go outside, try new things/hobbies that you genuinely want to do (don't prioritize women, this shouldn't be your priority). Continuously trying new things will make you have an abundant life where you may meet women in these hobbies or maybe not but this abundance mindset will attract people in your life. You have more stuff to discuss, more stuff to share, more opportunities to meet people, etc. Even if it's not women you meet, you will meet guys who will introduce you to them or maybe you don't meet anyone? However, wouldn't it be better to just go try new things you want to do in all cases?
Pick up artists? Ain't those just guys who tell you to make corny "pick up lines" and shit?
It's weird but ngl some of them are hilarious. I even think of some my self just to crack my self up sometimes.
Would never use them irl though.
 
#86
Some of you people will accuse anybody who treats women as people of being "simps" or whatever the fuck.

It's like you mfs were all created in a lab. Parroting the same tired old complaints about the opposite gender while still refusing to do any sort of introspection.
 
#88
I'd say they are hard in the sense life can be hard. If you and the other person want to make things work and actually like each other it's going to be a lot easier than where it's one sided.

People also call them hard because it's not easy to love/like/etc someone you aren't compatible with. There's a lot of pressure on people to find someone before they get too old and you make some mistakes out of desperation and stress.

They are challenging, it's up to how you view it that makes or hard or easy
 
#91
Dating is not hard per se . All you have to do is ask worst thing is you get rejection .

Most woman want men to be not jerks , must have good Humor , talk well , dress nicely (yes fellas your dress does play a role) and important stuff maintain good personality .

Dating varies from people to people some look for casual relation , normal fling but overall most woman want stable relation that means they want partner to have above attributes I have mentioned .

For people who say dating is easy they are not finding it hard because they have well rounded personality and constantly improving and look after themselves .

Show your A game it can be tough but you want someone to have interest in you then you have to game up .
 
#93
It depends on many factors,like the person,the country he lives in,etc. and also,what we mean with "dating". Just getting in a relationship (casual or stable) with someone,or the phase of "getting a relationship work"? Because they are different phases and requires different skills.

Lets talk about the first phase:

- If you are a charming guy you can have women everywhere. But you have to hang out very much,always meeting new people,etc. because if you are charming but women dont know you,how can they want you? And i am talking about meeting women in real life,because on dating apps people can look only at your physical beauty,so if you are not handsome (which is different from charming) you have no chance there,while in real life you can use your charme (if you have it) so i guess its not completely easy because it requires some effort,at least in the beginning.
- If you are a woman,especially a woman in mediterrean/latin culture,it doesnt matter how you look,your personality,etc. you are a woman and thats enough. You will have at least 2-3 men (and i am keeping the number very low) trying to get you in every different phase of your life. Just because. It works like that. So in that case is 100% easy mode. You just have to choose the best option possibile for you. No effort at all.

Now lets talk about the second phase of dating,the one where you have to make the relationship work. That is not easy at all in modern society! In the opening post you say "just find a good person and make it work" like its an easy thing! Both men and women nowadays are:
- Not mature
- Not willing to make any,and i say any,compromise

Modern media tells us that we have to find the perfect relationship like in the movies,and if there is some annoying stuff,we are justified in call that relationship "toxic" and immediately call that relationship off. For women is even more easy to do that,because like we said earlier,they have more choices,especially in the social media era,so if they want,they can live in a relationship all their life,passing to a relationship to another in quick time. Singlehood is a choice for women,while it is not for many men. By the way men have their fault too and often dont want to compromise either,so they share their cake of guilt in this situation.

Personal experience to add on this topic of the second phase of dating: I once dated a girl who made me the impression of being exactly the mature type. She studied law,dressed well,she was very romantic and always talking about love,about traditional family etc. so i thought she really was wife material but guess what? One day she literally ghosted me,diseappering without a trace,like the most immature girls would do. I had other bad experiences with girls who seemed mature and romantic like her,and with time i realized: those kind of girls are probably actually the worst! Why so? Because its true they want serious stuff,but,for this reason,they "idealize" how their love life,and how their future family should be,and that brings them to completely call a relationship off if it doesnt meet their "idealized" standards. But they dont understand that life isnt perfect,so a perfect relationship doesnt exist. We should just look at our parents,damnit!
Dont the majority of our parents fight sometimes? Yes,it happens! Dont they sometimes complain about something that is annoying about their partner?? Yes,they do! But,guess what,they believed in that relationship,so they stayed together all this time anyway. They understood that perfect relationships dont exist. Sadly,the next generations will have for majority divorced parents,so most of them wont even have this example to look at. But thats the thing: modern society is designed to destroy families. Call me a conspiracies theorist,but i think this decadence of families and this male loneliness,was created on purpose,to better control the population.

I guess i wrote a too long post so i will stop here! Hahaha. Hope it will be interesting for the people who will read the topic.
 
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#94
It's not about me being an expert at all, I've only been in two serious relationships and I'm no romantic (like at all)

My points is most mfs here are tweaking. You won't find rational advice here or any sort of middle ground where someone actually gives you their unbiased take on what constitutes "successful" dating. Half of WG users are staunch misogynists' with a rage boner against modern women. They'll tell you these girls are at fault instead of them (saying they only date hot guys or guys with money)

Newsflash, girls like funny dudes. If you make them laugh you have a chance. My advice? Be normal.
Telling someone who struggles at dating to be normal is a useless advice. Clearly being “normal” for them won’t get them anywhere lol

Anyways people saying dating isn’t hard are extremely out of touch. A large percentage of men and women are struggling to find partners. From an anecdote alone you’d never know who the person you’re talking to is into until is too late. There’s also the games being played when it comes to dating someone.

I’d say it’s hard but it probably shouldn’t be easy. Women have to vet the creeps out for their own safety. Men should probably be more selective and think less with their dick
 
#96
It's easy if you are shitty person fr. If you go in with good intentions you get taken for a ride. So in a way it's kinda hard if you are a good person or soft.
I will say it’s hard to find right partner .

people with shitty personality will never be in relation but that will only last when they run out of money or get old . They will have to eventually meet right person as well .

Like I said dating is just a Russian roulette sometimes you can get right partner at right time it needs dedication and Patience .

I observed younger generation lack this quality and they expect things to be like you see in sitcoms or in a movie . Even good guys will have to work their way out .
 
#98
Lol, I'm indian if you didn't get it already. I've experienced both worlds.

Aside from looks, Indian women (and likely Asian in general) are far better than western ones on average.

Roughly half the marriages fail in US, likely gonna jump when older gens (who were more sane) pass away
It makes sense you feel that way since you’re actually from india.

For me my ties to the country just aren’t very strong. I like Indian food and I think hindu philosophy/mythology is cool, although tbh I don’t really want to follow the religion itself.
 
#99
Telling someone who struggles at dating to be normal is a useless advice. Clearly being “normal” for them won’t get them anywhere lol

Anyways people saying dating isn’t hard are extremely out of touch. A large percentage of men and women are struggling to find partners. From an anecdote alone you’d never know who the person you’re talking to is into until is too late. There’s also the games being played when it comes to dating someone.

I’d say it’s hard but it probably shouldn’t be easy. Women have to vet the creeps out for their own safety. Men should probably be more selective and think less with their dick
I never took a stance on whether it's easy or hard, I simply said he's asking the wrong people.
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It's easy if you are shitty person fr. If you go in with good intentions you get taken for a ride. So in a way it's kinda hard if you are a good person or soft.
I see Worstgen has a sizable enclave of r/niceguys natives.
 
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