What do you mean "a fixed ideology" ?
Leftism is good when it comes to understand the world, but it has a big flaw in the sence that its easy to become obsessed with a particular fight. This type of obsession can sometime prevent us from seeing the bigger picture and the importance of aligning our fight with others.
For example, you might have noticed that I had at the beginning of my presence on this forum a very big obsession when it comes to fight related to identity (LgbtqI +, Racism etc.) it was a good thing, but it prevented me from understanding the bigger picture and most of all the influence that capitalism had on those issue. So I rectified that once I learned more about sociology and you can see that since november / December, I've been much more anti-capitalist than before.
I simply choosed to diversify my range and that's something that can be very hard to do if you are part of an activist group. As activist are mostly specialized in one type of fight.
There is no such thing on the left. We are all "woke", those who choose to fight "woke" people don't understand the importance of intersectionality and that sometimes, we need to be angry to fight. usually, if a leftist calls themself "anti-woke" you can be sure to see them slide slowly toward the far right in the span of a few years or adopt very hegemonic systemic opinions.
In the France of today, if a leftist starts to be liked by people like Macron, Glucksmann or the mainstream medias (BFM / France Info / France Inter etc.), its the sign that they stopped having leftist opinions and started drifting toward a liberal or a far right mindset.
And this here. I don't know what this is supposed to mean
It means that I'm not a soldier. My entire reasonning is focused toward finding new ways to fight the right.
I'm more of an observer of the battlefield. For example, if there were other people like me fighting far rightist here, I would simply stay silent. But my opinions are not very spreaded here, I feel obligated to act.
You say you'd rather write than actually protest something at least ?
Yes. Something like that.
While I have and will most likely protest again in the future when I will be able to get out.. My vocation in this life is to make people question their reality by doing other things (writings, sharing datas, creating stories, debating). I'm not saying that it works but that's something I'm better suited to do, especially when I know that I would most likely get myself arrested the first moment a stormtrooper will push me.
That's why I said that keeping a bird view is closer to who I am rather than being a protester. I'll keep attending the most important protest, but I will fight in my own little way.