Title: One Piece Hiatus: The Alien Abduction of Eiichiro Oda
Scene 1: Newsroom Chaos (Revisited)
The news anchor is now looking even more disheveled, shuffling through new papers as an image of Eiichiro Oda appears again.
Anchor: "Breaking updates on the mysterious disappearance of Eiichiro Oda! While initial reports claimed he was abducted by aliens, further details reveal that he’s not just being held by extraterrestrials—he’s also hiding from a superfan known as… Sandman."
Scene 2: Oda’s Safe Space in Space
Oda sits in a spacious, sci-fi lounge aboard the alien ship, sipping a bizarre glowing drink. Alien Leader nervously hands him a remote that seems to control every screen on the ship.
Alien Leader: "Master Oda, we’ve created the ultimate safe space for you here. You’re hidden in the deepest quadrant of the galaxy where none of your fans can reach you. You’re finally free from… Sandman’s Twitter account."
Oda visibly relaxes, but the moment is short-lived as alarms start blaring throughout the spaceship.
Oda: "What’s going on?! Is there another spoiler-hungry fan out here?"
Alien #2: "I’m afraid it’s worse. Sandman knows you’re here!"
Oda spits out his drink.
Scene 3: The Space Tower of Love
Cut to a scene on Earth, where Sandman stands, leading a group of amorous, overly enthusiastic fans. Sandman is flanked by legions of adoring, dedicated fans, mostly Japanese men, all holding pictures of Oda.
Sandman: eyes gleaming with determination "If I can’t reach Oda on Earth, we’ll simply
build our way to him in space!"
In the background, a colossal tower is forming, stretching upward into the sky as fans feverishly hammer, saw, and paint giant cutouts of Oda along the way. The tower is affectionately dubbed “The Tower of True Love.”
Fan #1: "Oda-sama, we’ll reach you soon! Our hearts know no boundaries!"
Fan #2: dreamily “Oda-san’s safe space… will soon be our love space!”
Scene 4: Oda and the Aliens Panic
Back on the ship, Oda and the aliens watch in horror as their screens show live footage of the Tower of True Love growing higher and higher.
Alien #1: "Master Oda, they’re actually building a tower into space! They’re determined to bring you home!"
Oda: exasperated "This guy is relentless! He knows everything! Not even my alien abduction threw him off!"
Alien Leader: "Our galactic defenses won’t hold against
such passion. It’s unstoppable!"
Oda: grumbling "Why couldn’t I have normal fans…?"
Scene 5: The Truth About the Will of D
Sandman’s Tower of True Love inches ever closer, fueled by his undying admiration and the intense energy of his legions. In a last-ditch effort to stall them, Oda decides to give the aliens one more secret.
Oda: "Alright, listen. You want another spoiler? I’ll give you one that no one saw coming."
The aliens lean in, breathless.
Oda: with a smirk "The Will of D… is actually the Will of Deez Nuts."
The aliens’ eyes widen as the revelation ripples through them.
Alien Leader: "The Will of… Deez Nuts?!
Such humor… such layers! It was right in front of us all along."
Alien #2: "You mean that the legendary ‘D’ passed down through generations was just—"
Oda: nodding sagely "Yep. It’s all about
Deez Nuts. A cosmic joke tying together generations and galaxies."
The aliens are speechless, experiencing the humor of humanity for the first time.
Scene 6: Sandman’s Invasion
As Sandman and his legion of fans finally reach the spaceship, they clamor at the airlock, all professing their undying love for Oda.
Sandman: knocking on the spaceship hull "Oda-sama! We know you’re in there! Just give us a sign—a hint about Luffy’s final power-up! We’ve come all this way for you!"
The aliens activate every lock, but Sandman’s legion is simply too determined.
Fan #3: "Oda-sama, we’d build another tower to the next galaxy if we had to!"
In an ultimate act of surrender, the aliens finally let Sandman and his fan army aboard. Sandman races in, finding Oda surrounded by his extraterrestrial captors.
Sandman: "Oda-sama! At last, we meet! Now, tell us about Luffy’s ultimate secret!"
Oda: sighing "You really want to know?"
Sandman nods eagerly, stars in his eyes.
Oda: "Alright, here’s the truth: The One Piece is a
mecha heart, buried inside Luffy himself. His scar? That was foreshadowing all along.
@minamoto Law planted it in him at Marineford. And just wait until you see Kid’s return as Jika the Damned One and Urouge being Ace’s mom!"
Sandman’s eyes widen, his admiration and love intensifying to previously unimaginable levels.
Scene 7: Chaos Ensues
Sandman’s fans begin chanting “Oda-sama! Oda-sama!” while Oda stands, surrounded and exhausted.
Oda: "And for the love of the Grand Line, don’t even get me started on Crocodile being Luffy’s mom."
Sandman’s Fans: collective gasp "What?! Crocodile… Luffy’s
mother?!"
The spaceship trembles from the collective shock. Even the aliens are clutching their heads, stunned by the unexpected twists.
Alien Leader: "This man’s imagination is endless! We must broadcast this to the galaxy!"
But as the aliens prepare the broadcast, the ship suddenly begins to list downward, pulled down by the overwhelming weight of all the plot twists and love. The ship careens back to Earth, crash-landing in front of Oda’s studio. Sandman and his fans scramble out, triumphant.
Scene 8: Oda’s Return
The aliens, disheveled but inspired, bid Oda a fond farewell.
Alien Leader: "Master Oda, we will never forget you… or the Will of Deez Nuts."
Sandman approaches Oda, offering him a bouquet of roses.
Sandman: "Oda-sama, I’ll be waiting for every chapter drop on Twitter. And if you ever need a safe space in space again… I’ll find you."
Oda: resigned sigh "Thanks, Sandman. I’ll… keep that in mind."
As Oda finally returns to his studio, the world cheers. The hiatus is over, and he’s ready to finish the story—until the next alien abduction, or until Sandman builds another tower.
Final Scene: A News Update
The same news anchor, looking exhausted and exasperated.
Anchor: "In astonishing news, Eiichiro Oda has returned safely. And despite everything, he insists
One Piece will resume next week. Though we’ve learned that the Will of D is actually… the Will of Deez Nuts.”
The anchor visibly tries not to laugh.
Anchor: “Fans, rejoice, because
One Piece is back—and stranger than ever.”
End credits roll, interspersed with scenes of aliens binge-reading One Piece on tablets, Sandman constructing a shrine to Oda in his room, and Oda finally, blissfully, sitting down to draw.