Kizaruber Eats

Arcane has broken me for the wrong reasons.
Funnily enough with my shitposting about Oda and aliens, I'm about to finally buy and play No More Heroes 3 (absolutely peak, amazing series) and the 3rd game revolves arond a MASSIVE world threatening alien invasion! NMH is heavily inspired by anime and this one sounded very DBZ or even DBS-ish too!

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Title: One Piece Hiatus: The Alien Abduction of Eiichiro Oda

Scene 1: Newsroom Chaos (Revisited)
The news anchor is now looking even more disheveled, shuffling through new papers as an image of Eiichiro Oda appears again.

Anchor: "Breaking updates on the mysterious disappearance of Eiichiro Oda! While initial reports claimed he was abducted by aliens, further details reveal that he’s not just being held by extraterrestrials—he’s also hiding from a superfan known as… Sandman."

Scene 2: Oda’s Safe Space in Space

Oda sits in a spacious, sci-fi lounge aboard the alien ship, sipping a bizarre glowing drink. Alien Leader nervously hands him a remote that seems to control every screen on the ship.

Alien Leader: "Master Oda, we’ve created the ultimate safe space for you here. You’re hidden in the deepest quadrant of the galaxy where none of your fans can reach you. You’re finally free from… Sandman’s Twitter account."

Oda visibly relaxes, but the moment is short-lived as alarms start blaring throughout the spaceship.

Oda: "What’s going on?! Is there another spoiler-hungry fan out here?"

Alien #2: "I’m afraid it’s worse. Sandman knows you’re here!"

Oda spits out his drink.

Scene 3: The Space Tower of Love

Cut to a scene on Earth, where Sandman stands, leading a group of amorous, overly enthusiastic fans. Sandman is flanked by legions of adoring, dedicated fans, mostly Japanese men, all holding pictures of Oda.

Sandman: eyes gleaming with determination "If I can’t reach Oda on Earth, we’ll simply build our way to him in space!"

In the background, a colossal tower is forming, stretching upward into the sky as fans feverishly hammer, saw, and paint giant cutouts of Oda along the way. The tower is affectionately dubbed “The Tower of True Love.”

Fan #1: "Oda-sama, we’ll reach you soon! Our hearts know no boundaries!"
Fan #2: dreamily “Oda-san’s safe space… will soon be our love space!”

Scene 4: Oda and the Aliens Panic
Back on the ship, Oda and the aliens watch in horror as their screens show live footage of the Tower of True Love growing higher and higher.

Alien #1: "Master Oda, they’re actually building a tower into space! They’re determined to bring you home!"

Oda: exasperated "This guy is relentless! He knows everything! Not even my alien abduction threw him off!"

Alien Leader: "Our galactic defenses won’t hold against such passion. It’s unstoppable!"

Oda: grumbling "Why couldn’t I have normal fans…?"

Scene 5: The Truth About the Will of D

Sandman’s Tower of True Love inches ever closer, fueled by his undying admiration and the intense energy of his legions. In a last-ditch effort to stall them, Oda decides to give the aliens one more secret.

Oda: "Alright, listen. You want another spoiler? I’ll give you one that no one saw coming."

The aliens lean in, breathless.

Oda: with a smirk "The Will of D… is actually the Will of Deez Nuts."

The aliens’ eyes widen as the revelation ripples through them.

Alien Leader: "The Will of… Deez Nuts?!

Such humor… such layers! It was right in front of us all along."

Alien #2: "You mean that the legendary ‘D’ passed down through generations was just—"
Oda: nodding sagely "Yep. It’s all about Deez Nuts. A cosmic joke tying together generations and galaxies."

The aliens are speechless, experiencing the humor of humanity for the first time.
Scene 6: Sandman’s Invasion
As Sandman and his legion of fans finally reach the spaceship, they clamor at the airlock, all professing their undying love for Oda.

Sandman: knocking on the spaceship hull "Oda-sama! We know you’re in there! Just give us a sign—a hint about Luffy’s final power-up! We’ve come all this way for you!"
The aliens activate every lock, but Sandman’s legion is simply too determined.

Fan #3: "Oda-sama, we’d build another tower to the next galaxy if we had to!"

In an ultimate act of surrender, the aliens finally let Sandman and his fan army aboard. Sandman races in, finding Oda surrounded by his extraterrestrial captors.

Sandman: "Oda-sama! At last, we meet! Now, tell us about Luffy’s ultimate secret!"

Oda: sighing "You really want to know?"
Sandman nods eagerly, stars in his eyes.

Oda: "Alright, here’s the truth: The One Piece is a mecha heart, buried inside Luffy himself. His scar? That was foreshadowing all along. @minamoto Law planted it in him at Marineford. And just wait until you see Kid’s return as Jika the Damned One and Urouge being Ace’s mom!"

Sandman’s eyes widen, his admiration and love intensifying to previously unimaginable levels.

Scene 7: Chaos Ensues
Sandman’s fans begin chanting “Oda-sama! Oda-sama!” while Oda stands, surrounded and exhausted.

Oda: "And for the love of the Grand Line, don’t even get me started on Crocodile being Luffy’s mom."

Sandman’s Fans: collective gasp "What?! Crocodile… Luffy’s mother?!"

The spaceship trembles from the collective shock. Even the aliens are clutching their heads, stunned by the unexpected twists.

Alien Leader: "This man’s imagination is endless! We must broadcast this to the galaxy!"

But as the aliens prepare the broadcast, the ship suddenly begins to list downward, pulled down by the overwhelming weight of all the plot twists and love. The ship careens back to Earth, crash-landing in front of Oda’s studio. Sandman and his fans scramble out, triumphant.

Scene 8: Oda’s Return
The aliens, disheveled but inspired, bid Oda a fond farewell.

Alien Leader: "Master Oda, we will never forget you… or the Will of Deez Nuts."

Sandman approaches Oda, offering him a bouquet of roses.

Sandman: "Oda-sama, I’ll be waiting for every chapter drop on Twitter. And if you ever need a safe space in space again… I’ll find you."

Oda: resigned sigh "Thanks, Sandman. I’ll… keep that in mind."

As Oda finally returns to his studio, the world cheers. The hiatus is over, and he’s ready to finish the story—until the next alien abduction, or until Sandman builds another tower.

Final Scene: A News Update
The same news anchor, looking exhausted and exasperated.

Anchor: "In astonishing news, Eiichiro Oda has returned safely. And despite everything, he insists One Piece will resume next week. Though we’ve learned that the Will of D is actually… the Will of Deez Nuts.”
The anchor visibly tries not to laugh.

Anchor: “Fans, rejoice, because One Piece is back—and stranger than ever.”

End credits roll, interspersed with scenes of aliens binge-reading One Piece on tablets, Sandman constructing a shrine to Oda in his room, and Oda finally, blissfully, sitting down to draw.
Aye you're welcome man, glad you enjoyed it! I desperately need laughs now too with severe IRL personal issues and stress so I get it too ofc.

I prefer the first one I did though tbh but yeah this concept was really making me laugh too:

Title: One Piece Hiatus: The Alien Abduction of Eiichiro Oda

Scene 1: Newsroom Chaos

News anchor, looking frazzled, shuffles papers as a picture of Eiichiro Oda appears on screen.

Anchor: "Breaking news! Eiichiro Oda, beloved creator of One Piece, has mysteriously disappeared. Fans worldwide are devastated, with One Piece on indefinite hiatus. But fear not! We have an exclusive update straight from a shocking source!"

Scene 2: Inside an Alien Spaceship

Oda, looking surprisingly calm, is seated in a glowing, crystalline room surrounded by aliens—small, excited beings with oversized heads and eyes like saucers, all wielding One Piece volumes.

Oda: "Look, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but can I please get back to my studio?"

Alien Leader: "Master Oda, please! We just need… a few spoilers! For the greater good of the galaxy! We cannot wait a millennium to see how One Piece ends!"

Alien #1: "We binged it all in one cosmic night! The cliffhangers, they haunt us! We must know the truth! Tell us, what is the One Piece?"

Oda: sighs "Fine. But just a little. And maybe you could give me a ride back to Earth?"

Scene 3: The Big Reveals

The aliens huddle close, holding their breath (or whatever aliens do to show suspense).

Oda: "Alright. First, you know that ancient weapon, Uranus? It’s actually a UFO!"

The aliens gasp.

Alien #2: "You mean like our ship?!"

Oda: "Exactly! In fact, Luffy’s UFO move was a hint all along. He’s going to pilot Uranus in a galactic battle! It’ll be like nothing the world has ever seen!"

Alien Leader: "And… the One Piece itself?"

Oda: grins "A mecha heart. It’s been inside Luffy the whole time, foreshadowed by his scar. Law secretly put it there during the Marineford incident after Akainu… well, you know."

Alien #3: "This is insane! Law already had the One Piece pre-timeskip?!"

Oda: "Yup. Found it by accident, but he knew Luffy was the only one who could unlock its true power."

The aliens buzz with excitement.

Scene 4: Kid Returns… With a Twist

Alien #1: "But what about Kid? He was our favorite! Is he really… gone?"

Oda: smirking "Kid will return as… Jika the Damned One."

Alien Leader: "The drums of rebellion! We suspected as much."

Oda: "Exactly. He’ll join forces with the Cross Guild, the Straw Hats, Heart Pirates, and the Revolutionaries to overthrow Imu and the World Government!"

The aliens cheer, waving their One Piece manga around excitedly.

Scene 5: Urouge’s True Identity

Alien #2: "And that mysterious monk, Urouge?"

Oda: "Plot twist—Urouge is actually Portgas D. Urouge. That’s right—Ace’s mother. She faked her death, turned into a man with Ivankov’s help, and became a monk."

Alien Leader: "Our circuits are melting! The plot twists! How much longer can this series last?!"

Oda: shrugging "Only as long as Luffy’s still hungry."

Scene 6: Crocodile's Secret

Alien #3: trembling "What about… Crocodile?"

Oda: "Oh, Luffy’s mom."

All Aliens: in unison “WHAT?!”

Oda: "Similar situation as Urouge, thanks to Ivankov. And there’s more—"

Scene 7: Ace's Resurrection

Alien Leader: overwhelmed "Please, Oda-sama, this is too much! Just one more…"

Oda: "Alright. Ace is coming back."

The aliens are too stunned to speak.

Oda: "Brooke’s Awakening will let him resurrect Ace in the heat of battle, thanks to his soul-soul abilities. The whole family’s back together for the final war!"

The aliens break into applause, chanting Oda’s name.

Scene 8: The End of the Abduction

The spaceship lands back on Earth, and Oda steps out with a smirk, waving to the aliens as they sob and wave back.

Alien Leader: "Thank you, Oda-sama! We can finally rest in peace… until the final arc!"

Oda: "Right… well, let’s just keep this between us, yeah?"

The spaceship vanishes, leaving Oda to walk back into his studio, already planning the next chapter.

Scene 9: Back in the Newsroom

Anchor: "Breaking update! Oda has returned, seemingly unharmed, and promised One Piece will resume next week. Though... he was overheard muttering something about aliens and spoilers. One Piece fans, rejoice! The story continues!"

End credits roll, interspersed with footage of fans worldwide freaking out.


Also I imagined the aliens being like this with Oda lmfao:

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The demons are the celestial dragons with their cruel and disgusting behavior :smart:
That's some big brain stuff right there! Fits in right with the sentiment that humans are the true/greatest evil but I believe the celestials aren't actualy human either, especially after seeing what the Gorosei and Imu are like now too. Imagine if they all turned into actual demons too?!
It could be like this moment too in POTC, for a dramatic reveal of their true demon forms? Could have happened to Vivi potentially if the story went that way? Or when Sabo met the Gorosei and Imu?:


I'm trying to think, I've seen a movie where people turned into demons too, their true forms, I wanna say it was a Disney animated film or something similar at least, but I can't think what it was!
 
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CoC: Color of Clowns

Force Choke the Chicken
my life is profoundly empty

I feel like this break is going to take a legit toll on my mental health. Which sounds pretty pathetic tbh.
I swear, this will sound like the most hippy crap of all time, but I'm gonna say it anyway:

Go outside, find a tree you like the look of, and either lie against it, or next to it, and just let the emotions out.

Trees give us a ton of the Oxygen we breathe, and so much more. Homes, tools, musical instruments.

We weren't meant to sit inside of houses made of dead trees, we were meant to fun through nature just like the deer, wolves, and rabbits.

The internet is wonderful, but it can't replace nature. Let it all go for a bit, find a nice tree, and listen to the wind and sounds are you.

Just unplug and take in life itself. Hope you feel better, soon.
 
Do you go to uni:endthis:
No I work

but it’s a boring computer job.
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I swear, this will sound like the most hippy crap of all time, but I'm gonna say it anyway:

Go outside, find a tree you like the look of, and either lie against it, or next to it, and just let the emotions out.

Trees give us a ton of the Oxygen we breathe, and so much more. Homes, tools, musical instruments.

We weren't meant to sit inside of houses made of dead trees, we were meant to fun through nature just like the deer, wolves, and rabbits.

The internet is wonderful, but it can't replace nature. Let it all go for a bit, find a nice tree, and listen to the wind and sounds are you.

Just unplug and take in life itself. Hope you feel better, soon.
I like going outside

just sucks I can’t do it every day.
 
my life is profoundly empty

I feel like this break is going to take a legit toll on my mental health. Which sounds pretty pathetic tbh.
Pick up a game or another show for 3 weeks
I heard the penguin‘s pretty good btw
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As a person who also has sleep problems, it makes me laugh when people think it’s actually possible to live on 3 hours of sleep.
Jokes on you
I managed to do this back in Uni
 
As a person who also has sleep problems, it makes me laugh when people think it’s actually possible to live on 3 hours of sleep.
There are people who feel rested after 4 hours or so, some sort of genetic mutation. I wouldn't know about it if not for one of my friends being built that way. Literally goes to bed later than everyone and wakes up while we're halfway our sleep lol
Still they are extremely rare, and the way they said that about Oda hints at him sacrificing his life to deliver the story lmao
Obviously fake shit, he might've done it here and there but who hasn't
 
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