Wano was fully capable at that time of overthrowing Kaidou’s rule and removing Orochi from the position of Shogun. Kaidou himself admitted he had no idea what would happen if Oden chose to unite with Hyogoro and all the samurai of the country. It would have been a tough battle, but completely possible. That’s why asking for outside help wasn’t necessary, and this alone already breaks your first argument. And Oden’s choice to dance so the hostages could be saved, even while he became a laughingstock in Wano and destroyed his own reputation, is the kind of act only a true hero commits.
On top of that, the idea that Wano needs external forces to deal with its enemies is something both Oden and his son reject outright. Momonosuke made that very clear in front of Green Bull as he shouted multiple times for Yamato not to interfere. They need to be able to defend themselves, because Luffy won’t always be there.
Their pride in this context isn’t a flaw at all.
And to reinforce this, Hyogoro himself wondered what could have happened if, back then, he had joined forces with Oden against Kaidou. His reflection shows that, yes, they truly had a real chance of winning.