General Relationship Discussion
- Thread starter Cinera
- Start date
Well then, now that this thread is back where it belongs. I would like to give an update.
My current with my newest girlfriend isn't too bad. Although it seems she is a bit on the impatient side. She wants to jump into marriage immediately on top of being too keen on losing her virginity fast. What she needs to learn is that these things take time and shouldn't be rushed (not to mention your average marriage is highly expensive).
She already wants to give me a birthday gift in an attempt to flatter me further. At the same time, I have the feeling she is in it for a citizenship as she is an immigrant (whether she is legal or illegal remains to be seen). That is a subject I would rather not touch with her as it may be a bit too personal. Nonetheless, I will give her the benefit of doubt and see where things go later in the year.
My current with my newest girlfriend isn't too bad. Although it seems she is a bit on the impatient side. She wants to jump into marriage immediately on top of being too keen on losing her virginity fast. What she needs to learn is that these things take time and shouldn't be rushed (not to mention your average marriage is highly expensive).
She already wants to give me a birthday gift in an attempt to flatter me further. At the same time, I have the feeling she is in it for a citizenship as she is an immigrant (whether she is legal or illegal remains to be seen). That is a subject I would rather not touch with her as it may be a bit too personal. Nonetheless, I will give her the benefit of doubt and see where things go later in the year.
African. Full blooded African from South Africa.
She always love to have her side conversations in Swahili with her sister to plot on what to say to me.
As an African American, I always seen Africans as completely different from us. One is the original and still keep their traditions and the other is long Americanized with their own culture.
I’m 26 and she is 28. Just a two year gap.
And I see. Have either of you decided on wanting any children or you feel she would be someone expecting a child soon?
She always love to have her side conversations in Swahili with her sister to plot on what to say to me.
As an African American, I always seen Africans as completely different from us. One is the original and still keep their traditions and the other is long Americanized with their own culture.
I’m 26 and she is 28. Just a two year gap.
And I see. Have either of you decided on wanting any children or you feel she would be someone expecting a child soon?
I think being a relationship with that kind of age is nice and proper, a rather mature stage where one can begin to prioritize long-term targets, setting goals while compromising with gf/bf etc. Do you have any plans to settle down or is being married still far in your mind / not to your taste?
Btw by that "something", i dont mean a child, since both of us are in early 30s and already have a nice kid, stable income etc.
Its just for a while now there's some things going on that made me begin to consider having multiple partner (wives). One of them is a colleague being married to two women while he himself is much younger than me.
...The other is a particular girl showing some signs of possibly being attracted to me while having physical and personality traits that i like, with me being all marriage-oriented guy with almost no desire to just fling / hook up.
This feeling is annoying to say the least, it sway my focus. Moreover, marriage with multiple partners is not common in my place, so its somewhat embarrassing to tell friends at my workplace about it.
Btw by that "something", i dont mean a child, since both of us are in early 30s and already have a nice kid, stable income etc.
Its just for a while now there's some things going on that made me begin to consider having multiple partner (wives). One of them is a colleague being married to two women while he himself is much younger than me.
...The other is a particular girl showing some signs of possibly being attracted to me while having physical and personality traits that i like, with me being all marriage-oriented guy with almost no desire to just fling / hook up.
This feeling is annoying to say the least, it sway my focus. Moreover, marriage with multiple partners is not common in my place, so its somewhat embarrassing to tell friends at my workplace about it.
The thing is more that while marriage is nice, she would have to realize that there are other things that should be done. Like deciding on a place both of us can live. We would not want a situation where once the baby is born, we have to share days where one of us keep the baby in either of our family homes. That would be too messy. That is what I am working on for the year as a nice place to live would benefit the two of us. Especially a safe environment when she lives in quite a rundown dangerous neighborhood herself, which is not a good environment for our child to grow up in. Marriage is on my mind although I would rather it done when we are both in a stable living position and the baby is raised right in a quote on quote good environment.
Ah, polygamy. This one's something that not too many really go for. On top of the legality based on what part of the world you really live in. I have no horse in this race, being someone who prefers the traditional monogamous relationships. If only HopOnHype weren't banned, he would had helped with this subject
What it all comes down to is comfortability. You may have to ask one day if your wife would be fine with an open relationship or even having a second wife married for that matter. Of course the woman you are interested in would have to also be comfortable with wanting to go that route. That is what makes most polygamy relationships successful in that all partners or would-be partners have a mutual sense of trust with each other and wouldn't find anything too forbidden about being partnered altogether.
Of course you would have to be very prepared of what others may think of this decision, family or even friends. It takes a lot of bravery to step outside the norm when it comes to a non-traditional marriage at all. It is all up to you on whether you want to go along with these thoughts or take some time to think about it before making a move.
Ah, polygamy. This one's something that not too many really go for. On top of the legality based on what part of the world you really live in. I have no horse in this race, being someone who prefers the traditional monogamous relationships. If only HopOnHype weren't banned, he would had helped with this subject
What it all comes down to is comfortability. You may have to ask one day if your wife would be fine with an open relationship or even having a second wife married for that matter. Of course the woman you are interested in would have to also be comfortable with wanting to go that route. That is what makes most polygamy relationships successful in that all partners or would-be partners have a mutual sense of trust with each other and wouldn't find anything too forbidden about being partnered altogether.
Of course you would have to be very prepared of what others may think of this decision, family or even friends. It takes a lot of bravery to step outside the norm when it comes to a non-traditional marriage at all. It is all up to you on whether you want to go along with these thoughts or take some time to think about it before making a move.
Yeah its quite a distraction to anticipate what will my wife and her family's perspective toward me if i open up that kind of topic to them. I'm not the type to think i'm cooler than the others just because i have polygamy-prospect with a girl or two being interested in me, so asking advice from someone seemingly way above my paygrade in coolness or outgoing vibe (Hop?) about this kind of thing may not suit me lol.
Anyway do you think your neighborhood is more suitable for family living than that of hers, or are the two similar in that kind of situation? What are the most dangers there, bullying or legit crime etc? My neighbor just got a couple of motorbike stolen while its raining, that kind of stuff or worse?
Anyway do you think your neighborhood is more suitable for family living than that of hers, or are the two similar in that kind of situation? What are the most dangers there, bullying or legit crime etc? My neighbor just got a couple of motorbike stolen while its raining, that kind of stuff or worse?
My neighborhood is nowhere near as bad as her’s, but still not good enough . We have the rare street fights and shootings that happen in different parts of the neighborhood. Also, my family’s house is quite small. A 3 bedroom house was never good fir a family of 6, hence why my little brother left to raise his daughters in his girlfriend’s house far away in a different town. My bed room is often cluttered and very small because my sister technically gave that room to me while she sleeps on the couch. It’s not a good living space for a baby. But she plans on moving out soon as her baby is born in four months because even she feels this house isn’t good enough to raise a child in.
Overall, it all lies on me finding another neighborhood and buying a home or condominium that would suit me and my would-be family with enough space. The number of rooms will have to be a key factor based on how many children we want. Though my girlfriend wants only one child, which isn’t too bad.
Overall, it all lies on me finding another neighborhood and buying a home or condominium that would suit me and my would-be family with enough space. The number of rooms will have to be a key factor based on how many children we want. Though my girlfriend wants only one child, which isn’t too bad.
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Just reading this makes me want to learn MMA or purchase a gun or something. Even if its rare, street fighting imo is already unhealthy influences o the family, let alone shootings.
From the description of your family's house, yeah it seems cramped, even buying bunkbeds wouldn't solve the whole problem. Have you considered buying a land first in like a suburban area (considering the price)? I bought a land in a suburban area, built a growing-style house (expanded step by step as my savings were enough). Somewhat peaceful compared to shootings. Its just there're occasional happenings of cars/bikes being stolen at night orkids smoking and screaming their lungs in the sidewalk lol
From the description of your family's house, yeah it seems cramped, even buying bunkbeds wouldn't solve the whole problem. Have you considered buying a land first in like a suburban area (considering the price)? I bought a land in a suburban area, built a growing-style house (expanded step by step as my savings were enough). Somewhat peaceful compared to shootings. Its just there're occasional happenings of cars/bikes being stolen at night orkids smoking and screaming their lungs in the sidewalk lol
Buying land is one thing, but building a house from scratch will need some big brain thinking. I’d need help from an architect to envision that dream home. The bigger the house, the more complex you would have think about room size and circuitry. My only experience with architecture was a college project about designing an art museum space with digital 3D modeling. That’s way different than a house as museums are mostly open continuous spaces with little rooms.
It’s something to think about. Although just getting a down payment on an existing suburb house sounds more idea. My current savings is actually not too far from meeting that goal actually.
It’s something to think about. Although just getting a down payment on an existing suburb house sounds more idea. My current savings is actually not too far from meeting that goal actually.
Regarding the architecture, my house was built from scratch from basic functional ideas. I have no education background in architecture, but it worked out fine imo.
My overall thinking is laid out in functional points like these:
- front door facing the side, in order not to expose the people inside the house too much
- long corridor in the middle (between the kids-' rooms), for my kids to compete in sprinting, crawling, treasure-collecting play or whatever
- my room at the back, with backyard view
After that, i only sketch the 2d map with the measurement in math.
With this, i used an architect but my money was wasted on that. Since the architect only translate my drawings into 3d and he charged some fees on it. The principles are the same.
Later on, i found a trustworthy construction laborer who is real smart on measurements, construction balance etc. His daily cost is higher than most laborer, but he can translate my ideas about angle management and functional purposes etc really well. So imo its better to search for an experienced construction guy as laborer team leader compared to an architect / contractor, its more efficient imo.
...on another topic, for any members here who have gf/wife already, please encourage her to routinelly use skin care if you can. I find investing in skin care is many times more beneficial than investing in girls makeup, as skin care literally improve the skin so even with no makeup on, your gf/wife will look prettier than before. The result is visually amazing but must be used consistently for the result to show.
My overall thinking is laid out in functional points like these:
- front door facing the side, in order not to expose the people inside the house too much
- long corridor in the middle (between the kids-' rooms), for my kids to compete in sprinting, crawling, treasure-collecting play or whatever
- my room at the back, with backyard view
After that, i only sketch the 2d map with the measurement in math.
With this, i used an architect but my money was wasted on that. Since the architect only translate my drawings into 3d and he charged some fees on it. The principles are the same.
Later on, i found a trustworthy construction laborer who is real smart on measurements, construction balance etc. His daily cost is higher than most laborer, but he can translate my ideas about angle management and functional purposes etc really well. So imo its better to search for an experienced construction guy as laborer team leader compared to an architect / contractor, its more efficient imo.
...on another topic, for any members here who have gf/wife already, please encourage her to routinelly use skin care if you can. I find investing in skin care is many times more beneficial than investing in girls makeup, as skin care literally improve the skin so even with no makeup on, your gf/wife will look prettier than before. The result is visually amazing but must be used consistently for the result to show.
There’s a reason for this (like a submissive feeling) or it just happens?
Ah nice. It makes sense when you put it all down into the details. That’s something I can take note of for the future.
Luckily on the skin care subject, I’ve gotten her some good skin care products in her Valentine’s gift bag. Only the best kind when it’s fair as I’d use similar high quality products. I can hope it inspires her to to seek using it more often for that major glow up.
Ah nice. It makes sense when you put it all down into the details. That’s something I can take note of for the future.
Luckily on the skin care subject, I’ve gotten her some good skin care products in her Valentine’s gift bag. Only the best kind when it’s fair as I’d use similar high quality products. I can hope it inspires her to to seek using it more often for that major glow up.
Yes, seeing the result, my wife recommend skin care for me also, so what i'm dealing with now is the procrastination from keep using it like grinding for some level up in skin cleanliness lol
You mean you're the one being emotionally abused or you're the one abusing her emotionally?
...i'm kind of sexually dominant with bodily fluids fetish though so i'm not the one to judge
You mean you're the one being emotionally abused or you're the one abusing her emotionally?
...i'm kind of sexually dominant with bodily fluids fetish though so i'm not the one to judge