I Need to Consultation on My Life

#21
Lmao, the zoro fanboys tells you to cut ties with your familly :milaugh:
Bruh you had it rough, you werent able to finish the med school, that sucks, but its not over, it seems that you dont know wtf you want to do from now on, how tf should we know? We barelly deal with our own shit.
You project a lot of frustration on your family, but immo it just sounds like you need to man up and to take things in your own hands+ your time/our time to this planet is limited and smoll af, the family are the closest friends you will ever have, and it seems that they dont abused you outside of the strict mentally, this can be nulified if you are man enough to tell them to stfu, basically show them that you can do something interesting without their help.
Med school was a good idea, you failed/didnt liked it, move on, to be someone you gotta learn skills, go to the police school/do an it course/ take a firefight course(in most cases you will work shifts of 1 full day and 2 off, great deal, good salary, respectable profession)etc etc. There are so many good professions/ and the courses are under 1 year, you can do those, and you will regain respect in life, if this is what you search.
Or do how people here say, cut all ties, do drugs, go deeper in the despair. But cutting ties wont mean that you will find godtier people after to make a relation with, in most cases you will find more clowns.
The key here is education, if you dont have that you will be at most an assistant to some dudes. So yeah, go take some courses, from now in a year you can earn some good money in a public sector. But something is telling me that you gonna procrastinate like hell, and you will actually put your life in place/find an ok-mediocre job without skills at around 33 yr olds.:kayneshrug:
 
#22
I can relate with you ! I also surrendered to pressure , and gave up on my own dream. And I still regarte my discussion.
And don't wanna go in details , how much i have suffered mentally and emotionally. But one day I decide fuck my relatives , fuck my parents and fuck everyone...I went with what is better for me.
Today I'm a full time trader , not what I wanted to be , but choose what better option left for me. And im doing much better in my life.

so my only advice is , there is no restrictions for you to change you profession if you think you can do it and you are sincere about it.
dont try to make happy everyone because you can't make everyone happy...
 
#23
The issue here is that day after day... they use every possible way to reject my plans and shut it down morally... like no fucking moral support whatsoever...
idk if you still need advice but, in my experience, the only way to put an end to this sort of crap is NOT TO SHARE your plans. keep your mouth shut. don't tell anyone what you intend to do and how you intend to do it.

even going as far as claiming that I am a person with no feelings cause I don’t care about obeying or pleasing my parents anymore or include them with my decision...
the only reason such nasty claims are being used against you is that the people who say these things believe you care about them saying this. and they are right - you are visibly upset. don't be upset. don't allow these words - even though they are unfair and incorrect (i presume?) - to affect you. don't waste your energy arguing with them, don't waste your time telling them 'no, i DO care, i DO have feelings' etc etc...you're being distracted from what's truly important (finding a normal job) because you're being dragged into arguments about being 'unemotional'. don't let them do this. just ignore them or tell them they are free to think you're 'unemotional' if that's what they want to think. i know this sounds harsh but i think it's the only option. i mean, how exactly are you supposed to put an end to this bs with kindness and consideration?

is it really a bad thing for someone trying to find his own path, and trying to start from Zero and wanting to build his own future with no one else interference or trying to hold you down!?
no, it's not a bad thing. however, don't be surprised if these people feel slighted to the point that, should you ask for their help, they will be reluctant to help you. or their help comes with nagging and scolding. the good thing about independence is that what you will have, you'll have through your own efforts - no one will be able to tell you that you owe them your success. but it means that your fuck-ups will be yours only as well.

At what point we should draw a line!?
when you're being subjected to lies and manipulation (such as fake 'heart attacks').

Is it really bad for having different views on life than your society or family?
well, depends. but there are no 2 people in this world who agree with each other on everything (=have 100% identical views)....
 

ALI!

Stand on the edge of your dream and fight
#24
Senpai, sorry to hear about your struggles, I really hope you got some mind-peace since the time of posting this thread.
I'm probably the most related guy to your situation here as I also live in the middle east and I also am a medical student.
My sister (1 year older than me) failed her first attempt at 6th grade high school but on the year after it (my year) we both got high marks that qualify us to go to any college we want, including medical college.

My parents are both doctors, dad's a surgeon and mom's a paediatrician, all their life they studied, married at the age of 37, the age gap between me and them is 39 years ... they wanted us to go to med school so we can "continue their legacy"
I was Ok with it as I always loved being a doctor looking at my parents when they go to work or appear on Tv, but my sister had a somewhat similar situation as the one you are in.

She wanted to chill, have a non stressing job, something with creativity, she wanted to be a fashion designer, she was "forced" to enter the same college I went to eventually.

She suffered a lot, being older than the other girls in the class (and you know how ugly the words that come out the mouths of some girls regarding this subject can be) she suffered because of professors who had some issues with my parents and she suffered everyday since because she "couldn't meet the expectations"

I helped her ever since, but she always tells me she didn't want this and she will probably get married and sit at home one day. and the only reason she's continuing is because of our parents hopes.

My advice for you is this:

1- Do what you like and forget the past, be good at what you think you are passionate about, let your success speak for you.
2- Mind your parents feelings, even if they didn't mind yours, forget what had happened between you and your family in the past, no matter what has happened, you are still their son and they still see you as their "little boy" no matter how old you get. they might show their love in a way you wouldn't show to your kids when you become a dad, but never the less, they still love you.

Succeed in what you love and don't fight with your parents over what has passed, once you have a more stable and consistent life, they will be relieved of their concern over you and stop saying the things that hurt you.


Hope everything goes well for you brother.
 
#25
hmmm i’m kinda going through the same thing here, i’m being forced into med school as so i’m getting pressured to study more to get sufficient grades, i understand why especially because of where i’m from(following your dreams doesnt really get you anywhere here)

especially since im the youngest of three, my big brothers didn’t meet/satisfy my parents expectations so that kinda adding more pressure to me, im mean i wanna go to med school i just don’t wanna be the type of doctor they want me to be which kinda sucks idrk how to deal with this but i’ll when the time comes

senpai i see it’s been 2 months since your post so i hope everything worked out by now, just remember being a family doesn’t have a value, the value is set by how they treat their own.
 

Adam 🍎

Pretty Boy
#26
hmmm i’m kinda going through the same thing here, i’m being forced into med school as so i’m getting pressured to study more to get sufficient grades, i understand why especially because of where i’m from(following your dreams doesnt really get you anywhere here)

especially since im the youngest of three, my big brothers didn’t meet/satisfy my parents expectations so that kinda adding more pressure to me, im mean i wanna go to med school i just don’t wanna be the type of doctor they want me to be which kinda sucks idrk how to deal with this but i’ll when the time comes

senpai i see it’s been 2 months since your post so i hope everything worked out by now, just remember being a family doesn’t have a value, the value is set by how they treat their own.
Step 1
Finish med School

Step 2
Automatically get a job

Step 3
Get nice paycheck

Step 4
Move out

Step 5
Live and work how you want

Step 6.
Profit
 
#27
Good day everyone,
This is a very sensitive topic about my current life situation, and I need advices, support, and opinion on the matter...

For anyone who does not know this about me, I am an Arab guy (Palestinian) who actually lives in gulf region (so basically an environment where tradition of obeying family elders comes first and sometimes it costs you to lose yourself and not be who you want to be) all for the sake of being so called “Good son”

My issue started from 10 years ago when I was 18 years old... recent high-school graduate... with highest score between my colleagues in school... There was a huge discussion about my future with my father... A person I would say “would do anything to make you do what he wants”... The discussion was so intense with my father that he refused my choices... destroyed the dinner table (Sanji would be mad for it Lol)... and even went as far as drawing out sympathy from an unexperienced youthful guy by pretending to have heart attack and all kinds of method in order for me to enter the one specialty I do not love (medical school) and we know how fucking long Medical school can take from you!

Anyway, I surrendered to such preassure at one point because I was pressured by all family members that this is the only way they would stand behind me with... huge pressure I should have never surrendered to back in the day... I still blame myself about it... but really it was inexperience from me...especially in a society where obeying your parent is a MUST no matter the consequences...

Anyways, I got into medical school, I passed sometimes... but majority of times I FAILED miserabely... I wasted 7 years of my life and I could not pass 3rd year! I got stuck in that year numerous times that I got into a phase of depression because I was seeing people around me advance in their life... while I am stuck! No progress... I reached a point where I hated going to university because I do not want to see the face of spacific doctor being sarcastic with me about being stuck... I even hated doctors advice of even trying or studying harder.. I was just a huge mess... Last year in university I didn’t attend any class and I withdrawn from subjects... and I didn’t even mention that to my family cause I just wanted to stay away from anyone from any headach!

after that year, I decided to end everything... and withdraw from university at the age 26...
and I decided to start working instead and find my own path in life.... That resulted in huge uproar and upset by my family... regardless... I started to work as an assistant to CEO in a company... I worked there for sometime... and then I decided to leave the company to find a different place... the reason was that the culture in that company is not suited for me... there was a lot of backstabbing between employees.. a lot of bad environment like cursing your employee.. bad mouthing.. and the straw that broke the camel’s back was that I was asked to forge some papers in the contract for an employee contract there to which I refused the administration request... I felt that I cannot trust my future with such a company where they can easily ask their employers to lie, fake papers and do all kinds of dirty work... I couldn’t trust them... not to mention I worked there for two and a half month, and I have yet to receive my salaries... so in my trial period in contract.. I asked to get out... and I resigned... and to this day I am demanding my salary from them in court sessions online... but that’s not the issue here...

the issue came after that which is now... I am being once again pressured by my own family to basically follow a path they draw it for me... while I am completely against it... This time I am actually more stubborn on my stand... more firm on my decision... and more aware of their method of trying to pressure you into taking the decision that makes them happy right now, but will cost me to lose myself once again...

The issue here is that day after day... they use every possible way to reject my plans and shut it down morally... like no fucking moral support whatsoever... always claiming you’re ideas will fail, always reminding me that I am a disappointment... even going as far as claiming that I am a person with no feelings cause I don’t care about obeying or pleasing my parents anymore or include them with my decision... the point... I am freaking ranting and I honestly just wanted to get that out of my chest!

is it really a bad thing for someone trying to find his own path, and trying to start from Zero and wanting to build his own future with no one else interference or trying to hold you down!?
Is it really a right for parents to decide who you should be?
Is it really bad for having different views on life than your society or family?
At what point we should draw a line!?

Again, just ranting, but wanted advice, support, or whatever opinion you guys have! I really don’t know whom to talk to about this when everyone around me where I live is just against me now! So I just wanted to share this here... hoping for anything positive..
What you need is a spiritual awakening, a new approach to life. I would recommend you to read Nietzsche and specifically "Thus spoke Zarathustra". Basically you need to become a superhuman. Check this video on youtube "
". Basically it says that to become a superhuman you have to not follow the path the society demands for you to take but your own path(that will allow you to have a great life, a life that You want).
Now to follow your own path means that you muat have a purpose, a goal. Do you have one?A dream? Sth that if you achieve it will make you much happier than before? If you have one then follow it.
I had that kind of problem with my father. He wanted me to follow another path and sometimes would become somewhat manipulative(psychological war), but not to the extend you father does. I would recommend you to go to another city and start a new life. You have to make them understand that you live your own life and you are not their property. If you do it they may even miss you and undertand how valuable you are. If they dont then tahts their problem not yours.
You must know that the path of freedom is hard and there will be many adversities to face, but if you succeed, the fruit of satisfaction will be glorious.
 
#28
Damn What a long read so fucking boring,Just do what you want simple.Family will support you if you become successful and if you don’t ..........it was your choice so atleast you’ll be able to live with I did what i wished for and I tried my hardest.

Also Failure is not eternal,you’ll still succeed in some form or another,besides No success is too GREATER and no Failure is too FATAL.
 
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