Controversial Is dating really as hard as some people say it is?

[NAMELESS]

Eh tbf you did word your comment about slavery weirdly

Yeah,yeah, i get that now that i read it again and logiko reacted to it.

Well that would be acting like a cuck, lmao. No, I mean things that are reasonable. I would take a bullet for her, for example. If she violated the core facet that we are exclusive to each other and belong to each other, then she could fuck off -- as much as it'd hurt me. Marriage works because of the exclusivity.

Exactly.

 

[AL sama]

guys this thread is about dating not marriage

Listen, i just worded that comment poorly. Logiko and I are somewhat in agreement with each other. There is no drama here. Nobody is fighting. Why are you so angry all of a sudden?

just doing my job doesn't mean I m angry

 

[Monster Zoro's Tesla Supplier]

The problem with that is that it's the same as sayin "no matter what happens, always think about your partner's happyness". Which, in the case of a toxic relationship with a narcissist or a beater, is the same as saying that the person must not think about themselve and not escape the relationship. Which is just dangerous to say.

It's also the vision that you must forget yourself in a relationship which is problematic in itself (and I did exactly that so I know how destructive it can be)

No. Love is not about making yourself a slave for the happyness of someone else, it's about an equal exchange of attention and care.

We are partners in a relationships, not the slaves of one another.

The thing is he didn't ever say anything even remotely close to that, though. In fact the last part of the message implies the exact opposite:

Some would call that serving as if a slave; but it's different, as it's a mutual dedication to each other's needs/desires.

Do you not know what the word mutual means?
He never said you can't leave a toxic relationship lol.

 

[NAMELESS]

guys this thread is about dating not marriage

just doing my job doesn't mean I m angry

"I could say a lot of things, but don't feel like offending a religion". This comment sounds like takings things personal imo.

Post automatically merged: Nov 18, 2024

The thing is he didn't ever say anything even remotely close to that, though. In fact the last part of the message implies the exact opposite:

Do you not know what the word mutual means?
He never said you can't leave a toxic relationship lol.

I confused him with the "slave" comment. My bad. I wasn't implying you had to put up with disrespect or forget about your well being. I worded it badly.

 

[Juanpiz]

Heck And I thought Mihawk vs shanks is heated

 

[NAMELESS]

Heck And I thought Mihawk vs shanks is heated

Stop instigating. It's all a misunderstanding. I haven't seen any crazy insult or unhinged comment yet.

 

[Okamakama]

"I could say a lot of things, but don't feel like offending a religion". This comment sounds like takings things personal imo.

Post automatically merged: Nov 18, 2024

I confused him with the "slave" comment. My bad. I wasn't implying you had to put up with disrespect or forget about your well being. I worded it badly.

I actually address this in the below, Nameless:

Your objection comes from a heavy-handed response to the word "slave". To serve one another like a slave would be to do anything, regardless if it's what you want, to ensure your partner is happy. Do you think I enjoy having to constantly carry everything? Go on long walks after a hard day at work when I just want to sleep, all because she wants to feel safe outside at night? Sometimes it can be nice; but it can also be burdensome. I willingly do it for her as her needs are more important than my own to me. Some would call that serving as if a slave; but it's different, as it's a mutual dedication to each other's needs/desires.

I understood what you meant by "slave". I said: "Some would call that serving as if a slave; but it's different..." The fact is, the quote from the bible is about mutual owning of each other in a way that is respectful - not toxic. I said the response from Logiko was a heavy handed response to the word slave for a reason.

You messed up in your wording, but you weren't being toxic in what you meant. <3

 

[Juanpiz]

Stop instigating. It's all a misunderstanding. I haven't seen any crazy insult or unhinged comment yet.

Just joke and bc it is still going after months

 

[Okamakama]

I heard the successful marriages are the ones where both the man and women willingly serve each other like slaves.

Just want to add that he does use the term "like slaves" not "as slaves" and that is a very important distinction. It's still minorly poor wording; but it's less sinister imo. This is especially true when he used the word WILLINGLY. There is no such thing as a willing slave, lmao.

 

[NAMELESS]

I actually address this in the below, Nameless:



I understood what you meant by "slave". I said: "Some would call that serving as if a slave; but it's different..." The fact is, the quote from the bible is about mutual owning of each other in a way that is respectful - not toxic. I said the response from Logiko was a heavy handed response to the word slave for a reason.

You messed up in your wording, but you weren't being toxic in what you meant. <3

There needs to be servitude in a marriage, but not oppression. That is why i said "willingly serve as". An actual slave has no say in anything. Willingly implies freedom of choice. I thought people had enough reading comprehension skills to figure out this metaphor.

 

[Okamakama]

There needs to be servitude in a marriage, but not oppression. That is why i said "willingly serve as". An actual has no say in anything. Willingly implies freedom of choice. I thought people had enough reading comprehension skills to figure out this metaphor.

Just want to add that he does use the term "like slaves" not "as slaves" and that is a very important distinction. It's still minorly poor wording; but it's less sinister imo. This is especially true when he used the word WILLINGLY. There is no such thing as a willing slave, lmao.

I think I just mentioned the willingly part LOL

 

[NAMELESS]

Just want to add that he does use the term "like slaves" not "as slaves" and that is a very important distinction. It's still minorly poor wording; but it's less sinister imo. This is especially true when he used the word WILLINGLY. There is no such thing as a willing slave, lmao.

Exactly,thnx.

 

[Logiko]

I may have worded my first comment poorly, but there will be times you will need to forget about yourself for the sake of your partner. That does not mean you will forsaken your well being or honor. One should never consent to a request that puts the marriage in jeopardy.

One should never forget themselve in a relationship. This is always the beginning of a toxic one and someone under influence. Being present is not "forgeting ourselves", it's part of the relationship contract. Making effort is not something that must be exceptionnal, it's a requirement for a mutual benefit and it must be done on both part.

But never at the cost of your own health.

Never forget yourself in a relationship. It's a BASIC rule. And here I'm talking more to women than men.

My wife wanted to be the housewife (note: wanted) after years of being unable to cope in normal employment. I agreed. Now it is her job to do that, and she's happy to do so.

I think you're thrusting your views on relationships on people here. You may not realise you're doing this, so please take this as just a gentle reminder to not use your opinion as fact. (:

1. Someone choosing willingly an inequal and patriarcal relationship doesn't mean it's a good choice

2. I'm mostly talking here about the case of women who choose to have a career.

3. If you are BOTH happy, good for you.

4. Maybe you should check this channel. Just in case.

Nobody is saying to forget yourself

The thing is he didn't ever say anything even remotely close to that, though. In fact the last part of the message implies the exact opposite:

It is what the word "slave" implies. The words should not be used to talk about relationships, it can lead people to believe things that are quite problematic. And there are people here who seem to need healthy advice.

In your eyes, is this the epitome of toxicity?

No. As this would be called a sacrifice. This would not mean that you forget yourself but in this case that you want to save someone from danger. Which is a morally good action, even if it cost your life.

The problem comes when you forget yourself in a relationship and thus create a relationship of domination between yourself and the other partner.

Do you not know what the word mutual means?
He never said you can't leave a toxic relationship lol.

Never said he said that either. I'm telling you guyz what the wording and the vision proposed imply. Nothing more.

-----

Also, do not be confused guyz. The fact that someone accept "willingly" a situation does NOT imply that said situation is good for them. Women have been accepting willingly toxic relationship to survive for centuries.

 

[NAMELESS]

I think I just mentioned the willingly part LOL

yeah,you explained while i was reading comments and cooking an answer.

Post automatically merged: Nov 18, 2024

One should never forget themselve in a relationship. This is always the beginning of a toxic one and someone under influence. Being present is not "forgeting ourselves", it's part of the relationship contract. Making effort is not something that must be exceptionnal, it's a requirement for a mutual benefit and it must be done on both part.

But never at the cost of your own health.

Never forget yourself in a relationship. It's a BASIC rule. And here I'm talking more to women than men.





1. Someone choosing willingly an inequal and patriarcal relationship doesn't mean it's a good choice

2. I'm mostly talking here about the case of women who choose to have a career.

3. If you are BOTH happy, good for you.

4. Maybe you should check this channel. Just in case.

It is what the word "slave" implies. The words should not be used to talk about relationships, it can lead people to believe things that are quite problematic. And there are people here who seem to need healthy advice.



No. As this would be called a sacrifice. This would not mean that you forget yourself but in this case that you want to save someone from danger. Which is a morally good action, even if it cost your life.

The problem comes when you forget yourself in a relationship and thus create a relationship of domination between yourself and the other partner.



Never said he said that either. I'm telling you guyz what the wording and the vision proposed imply. Nothing more.

-----

Also, do not be confused guyz. The fact that someone accept "willingly" a situation does NOT imply that said situation is good for them. Women have been accepting willingly toxic relationship to survive for centuries.

"Never". Even if your partner just got into a serious accident and is now in the hospital? nahh, just go home and cook dinner. You need your time after all(irony). My guy, that is not how a healthy relationship works. This isn't like work where you put in X amount of hours and then your obligations are done. Common sense, plz.

 

[Monster Zoro's Tesla Supplier]

Never said he said that either. I'm telling you guyz what the wording and the vision proposed imply. Nothing more.

-----

Also, do not be confused guyz. The fact that someone accept "willingly" a situation does NOT imply that said situation is good for them. Women have been accepting willingly toxic relationship to survive for centuries.

Yeah? So?
Again, nobody's endorsing toxic relationships. It's always been about a mutual bond, a shared feeling of love, trust and loyalty towards eachother. If one of them or both of them isn't being all of those three things, then yes, it is indeed a bad relationship and you should probably get the hell out of there.

 

[NAMELESS]

One should never forget themselve in a relationship. This is always the beginning of a toxic one and someone under influence. Being present is not "forgeting ourselves", it's part of the relationship contract. Making effort is not something that must be exceptionnal, it's a requirement for a mutual benefit and it must be done on both part.

But never at the cost of your own health.

Never forget yourself in a relationship. It's a BASIC rule. And here I'm talking more to women than men.





1. Someone choosing willingly an inequal and patriarcal relationship doesn't mean it's a good choice

2. I'm mostly talking here about the case of women who choose to have a career.

3. If you are BOTH happy, good for you.

4. Maybe you should check this channel. Just in case.

It is what the word "slave" implies. The words should not be used to talk about relationships, it can lead people to believe things that are quite problematic. And there are people here who seem to need healthy advice.



No. As this would be called a sacrifice. This would not mean that you forget yourself but in this case that you want to save someone from danger. Which is a morally good action, even if it cost your life.

The problem comes when you forget yourself in a relationship and thus create a relationship of domination between yourself and the other partner.



Never said he said that either. I'm telling you guyz what the wording and the vision proposed imply. Nothing more.

-----

Also, do not be confused guyz. The fact that someone accept "willingly" a situation does NOT imply that said situation is good for them. Women have been accepting willingly toxic relationship to survive for centuries.

You are taking my comment literally. I explained in other posts that individual boundaries need to be respect. You are chasing your own tail.

 

[Okamakama]

One should never forget themselve in a relationship. This is always the beginning of a toxic one and someone under influence. Being present is not "forgeting ourselves", it's part of the relationship contract. Making effort is not something that must be exceptionnal, it's a requirement for a mutual benefit and it must be done on both part.

But never at the cost of your own health.

Never forget yourself in a relationship. It's a BASIC rule. And here I'm talking more to women than men.





1. Someone choosing willingly an inequal and patriarcal relationship doesn't mean it's a good choice

2. I'm mostly talking here about the case of women who choose to have a career.

3. If you are BOTH happy, good for you.

4. Maybe you should check this channel. Just in case.

It is what the word "slave" implies. The words should not be used to talk about relationships, it can lead people to believe things that are quite problematic. And there are people here who seem to need healthy advice.



No. As this would be called a sacrifice. This would not mean that you forget yourself but in this case that you want to save someone from danger. Which is a morally good action, even if it cost your life.

The problem comes when you forget yourself in a relationship and thus create a relationship of domination between yourself and the other partner.



Never said he said that either. I'm telling you guyz what the wording and the vision proposed imply. Nothing more.

-----

Also, do not be confused guyz. The fact that someone accept "willingly" a situation does NOT imply that said situation is good for them. Women have been accepting willingly toxic relationship to survive for centuries.

This sounds a whole lot like: My way is the only right way.

Who are you to cast shade on other people's decisions, bro? You're judging things you have little to no experience with.

My woman willingly became a housewife and asked me to do it - not the other way around.

She's now off anti-depressants and has a life where she can pursue her hobbies and interests, and in her words, "look after the man and home I love."

I despise that you can sum this up to be something not good for her (as per your final part) and that you call it an inequal position. SHE IS MY EQUAL. Don't look down on women as unequal just because they're not in the workforce.

 

[Monster Zoro's Tesla Supplier]

I despise that you can sum this up to be something not good for her (as per your final part) and that you call it an inequal position. SHE IS MY EQUAL. Don't look down on women as unequal just because they're not in the workforce.

This may be seen as a little rude, but considering that guy's admitted to being single for over a decade or so, I think he's just arguing for the sake of arguing. Dude doesn't know the first thing about love and commitment, from the looks of it.

 

[NAMELESS]

This may be seen as a little rude, but considering that guy's admitted to being single for over a decade or so, I think he's just arguing for the sake of arguing. Dude doesn't know the first thing about love and commitment, from the looks of it.

This sounds a whole lot like: My way is the only right way.

Who are you to cast shade on other people's decisions, bro? You're judging things you have little to no experience with.

My woman willingly became a housewife and asked me to do it - not the other way around.

She's now off anti-depressants and has a life where she can pursue her hobbies and interests, and in her words, "look after the man and home I love."

I despise that you can sum this up to be something not good for her (as per your final part) and that you call it an inequal position. SHE IS MY EQUAL. Don't look down on women as unequal just because they're not in the workforce.

I think he is just overreacting to the wording i used.

Post automatically merged: Nov 18, 2024

This sounds a whole lot like: My way is the only right way.

Who are you to cast shade on other people's decisions, bro? You're judging things you have little to no experience with.

My woman willingly became a housewife and asked me to do it - not the other way around.

She's now off anti-depressants and has a life where she can pursue her hobbies and interests, and in her words, "look after the man and home I love."

I despise that you can sum this up to be something not good for her (as per your final part) and that you call it an inequal position. SHE IS MY EQUAL. Don't look down on women as unequal just because they're not in the workforce.

lmfao I see a lot of people nowadays looking down on house wives. Especially, women that are feminist.

 

[AL sama]

"I could say a lot of things, but don't feel like offending a religion". This comment sounds like takings things personal imo.

nope I said that cause you brought up the priest

btw are you in your mid twenties??