That's good, you should never change who you are or how you do things, but you burn yourself out its not healthy to put all your energy into this and your irl responsibilities, this stuff isnt important its just fun and games don't let it fuck with you or your life, stay calm and if you feel yourself getting worked up or overwhelmed just take a step back it could be a couple hours or a couple days but you tend to put way to much pressure on yourself and then you explode with frustration and anger and its not just you many players do that, they get so focused on winning the game the sacrifice more important things such as their mental well being and irl responsibilities