That's exactly how u sounded like....it was supposed to be part of the joke....now because of this, our friendship is on the fence rn
I guess I need to change my username to crying bc I can’t express myself properly due to poor word/emoji choice. I’m too exhausted to even bother rereading for tone and how my posts come across. I knew it was a mistake to do the Leonardo “Inception” Decaprio sticker cuz it comes off as way too smug. I just wanted to say I have been working on my mental health and I thought about what my return to mafia would look like and I think I’m still too traumatized or burned out or in too poor mental health cuz just a bunch of negative feelings and images came to mind just thinking about coming back and it kind of scared me away. Also I made that post after having a breakthrough in my mental health where I was like “hey doing nice things for myself feels really good so maybe I should focus on doing things that are both good for me and relaxing / give me energy cuz then I can work my way out of the burnout AND hopefully get so much energy that I just have an abundance and excess to live with. Cuz the hope is that if I can do that then I’ll have enough energy to make my life sustainable and not burn out, that I will have enough energy to be kind to others without feeling like I’m sacrificing everything to do it, and also that I will have done enough nice things for myself to where the bad stuff and inconveniences in life won’t tear me apart bc at least I’ll be able to say “well this was one bad thing in a series of good things so I can probably live with / handle this bad thing”. I made the first post when I had just made the realization and was ecstatic and felt like nothing could bother me so ig I was feeling super unfazed bc I felt like I just made a major step towards happiness and nothing could bother me but I think it came across as cocky in my post. But anyway yeah the goal is to start with relaxing, healing, low-energy-cost tasks that feel good (ie taking naps, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, eating well, basic hygiene, taking walks, listening to music, watching tv shows I’ve been putting off, taking hot showers, etc) and then hopefully moving on to things that are good for me but energy-intense or difficult for me to do rn cuz I’m too scared or exhausted (ie finding a therapist, getting exercise that’s more than just walking, cleaning my house, admitting to ppl irl that I need help, getting my finances in order, learning new skills/info, etc). I didn’t want to sound braggy bc I just woke up today and sadly I don’t feel the magic unfazedness and delight and confidence I felt yesterday but at the very least I have hope that things will improve and that a life full of nice things and warm hugs might be achievable AND enjoyable, which is big for me cuz I hated life and myself and thought it would never get better.
So
But also
Respectfully
…
