Hahaha yep, I was worried of going into that topic or direction again but I have seen this kind of behaviour from sexually frustrated people, my neighbour and the guy who also tried to kill me (actual incels) are prime examples of how bad it can get too.
Oda really seems to be a workaholic and maybe even trying to escape his family life, maybe the responsibilities or just feeling he's trapped in a bad marriage or married the wrong person? Maybe he has actual regrets? Unfortunately the only person who really knows is him ofc and we can only speculate and analyse from things he says and does and others closely linked to him say ofc.
From what you said though, he seems to adore his wife? I've not looked into what he's said and what is known about him and his wife but I feel his wife being a Nami cosplayer would get a LOT of attention and maybe still does or even more so after marrying Oda, especially due to who he is ofc? That could and does cause problems in relationships and marriages too naturally.
He seems to really bully Sanji massively since the timeskip though, he really turned it up to 11 since then and it made me even more resentful of Oda by far, it became very personal/vindictive in how he treated Sanji and if Sanji is meant to be his self insert as I've joked about, then it explains a lot as I joke that Oda hates himself post TS for being so horny especially or other reasons and Sanji is his personal outlier/scapegoat for it lol. But again this is all
speculation ofc. I just really wish I knew what he was actually thinking and feeling, why he made these decisions, why he wrote OP and Sanji this way, whats going on his mind and heart, whats affecting him and such.
Oda feels so different post TS in many ways and the Sabaody to Marineford era makes me think of how Araki went through such a bleak streak with Part 5 of Jojo, when Part 4 before it was so mostly chill, laid back, fun especially before Kira appeared ofc. Then shit got real and a lot more serious, darker and emotional with Kira and thus like later parts of Jojo wtih him. But Parts 5 and 6 (I cannot elaborate why on Part 6 especially until the anime eventually is complete for it whenever the hell that will be at this point) feel especially bleak, cruel, bitter and such and I feel Oda went through something life changing or traumatic and something really changed him.
I know this bartender and friend he apparently based on Whitebeard on passed away a few years before Marineford but idk if that is really the reason for such a drastic, brutal change in the atmosphere and narrative style of OP from Sabaody. OP felt like a really different series to me then and now it does again but somewhat for different reasons post TS too.
I've been feeling extreme tonal dissonance post TS especially in Wano and maybe it does exist pre TS too ofc but I felt pre TS was more consistent up to Sabaody at least and then all hell kicked loose.
I'm constantly going around in circles, trying to understand what happened to Oda and OP but I don't know if I'll find out the actual answer anytime soon ofc or even ever at all. Trying too hard to be Sigmund Freud or something, although I'm more Sigmund Fraud probably lmfao: