Controversial Is dating really as hard as some people say it is?

[park_min young]

And if you had listened to what we just said, you would know that Maslow's hierarchy of needs is unscientific. The fact that it is taught massively is not a testimony of the relevancy of this theory, it's just a testimony of problems with the field of psychology.



Not necessarily no.



Do you have scientific evidence for this ? Sources ? I'm willing to open my mind.



Which does not meant that it's a basic need for a fulfilled life, it's just a testimony that the sociology of people push them massively to seek relationships which can be explained easily by the nativist push in most society especially conservative ones.



Oh I will, and you won't do anything about that. I'm the living proof that the argument that romantic relationship are needed in lives is a BS one.

And yes, I will generalize because you do not give me enough evidences (and I'm talking scientific ones > and not the Maslow hierarchy that is not) to think other wise.

People here are living in the fantasy that relationships will fullfill them and their needs when in reality what they must seek first is self appreciation. Because that the REAL thing that I see lacking in this thread.

Every living thing and evolution itself are driven by seeking out ways to ensure the species’ survival. Sex, intimacy, romance and anything related to it like social validation are all deeply integrated into human survival. All of these make sense, if you’re outcasted then chances are that you won’t survive, and you can’t pass on your DNA.

Yes, society influences how we think and what we value lmfao, that’s how humans work. Seeking romance and sex in general are both instinctive and socially-driven. Even on a surface level, humans will do and seek out pleasurable experiences. Sex is on top of that list.

We do not need to hear your dumb cliche quotes, we are merely stating the facts. Sex and romantic intimacy can even greatly help that self-growth and confidence that you’re spouting about btw. Intimacy and validation is vital for fulfillment for the majority.

 

[NAMELESS]

It's you who is proposing a non scientific model as truth, it's your job to do the researches, not mine.



No.



Do you have the studies explaining that it is created by biochemistry and not social behaviors ? Or is this just an alternative fact coming from your magic alternative fact box ?

As i said, if you are interested. Do your research.

Post automatically merged: Yesterday at 1:15 AM

Every living thing and evolution itself are driven by seeking out ways to ensure the species’ survival. Sex, intimacy, romance and anything related to it like social validation are all deeply integrated into human survival. All of these make sense, if you’re outcasted then chances are that you won’t survive, and you can’t pass on your DNA.

Yes, society influences how we think and what we value lmfao, that’s how humans work. Seeking romance and sex in general are both instinctive and socially-driven. Even on a surface level, humans will do and seek out pleasurable experiences. Sex is on top of that list.

We do not need to hear your dumb cliche quotes, we are merely stating the facts. Sex and romantic intimacy can even greatly help that self-growth and confidence that you’re spouting about btw. Intimacy and validation is vital for fulfillment for the majority.

Don't waste energy on this guy. We are going off-topic.

 

[Logiko]

As i said, if you are interested. Do your research.

Mine are done. It's your turn.

Every living thing and evolution itself are driven by seeking out ways to ensure the species’ survival. Sex, intimacy, romance and anything related to it like social validation are all deeply integrated into human survival.

The survival of the specie as a whole yes, not the survival of individuals.

Even on a surface level, humans will do and seek out pleasurable experiences. Sex is on top of that list.

Exactly, "on a surface level". Not on a survival and basic one.

We do not need to hear your dumb cliche quotes, we are merely stating the facts.

You are repeating a hierarchy that comes from an unscientific quote.

So don't give me moral lessons about stating facts, you do none of that.

Sex and romantic intimacy can even greatly help that self-growth and confidence that you’re spouting about btw.

The word to retain here is "can". Not "are the only once thing". The need you fill with sex can be fullfilled by many things.

 

[Mr.9000]

Depends, if your attractive and have great social skills, dating will be no problem. For the average man, it will be more difficult than the below average woman. I blame social media for creating the illusion that people have more options than they really do. If you do date:
Exercise your body and mind-focus on getting your life in order first.
Stay off dating apps, and go meet them in person
Don't put yourself in the friend category, be upfront to your intent to date.
Don't lower your standard just because you want to score.
And remember, set boundaries, not cages. You want to dodge the bullets now, not take them later.
The first 6 months is the interview stage

 

[Daniel]

Is someone really arguing that love and sex aren't considered needs again?

Without the two things you'd see a dead bedroom scenario between couples that are married and in worst case scenarios, relationships that break apart because there's no intimacy that happens (and eventually fizzles away) between the man and the woman.

+ no chances to bring life to the next generation
+ lack of drive in life other than to satisfy your ego

You ever seen someone's immigrant dad work 12 to 14 hour shifts (or two jobs) just so his kid(s) can have a better future? That's the power of having the responsibility of a family on your shoulders instead of just yourself.

 

[Logiko]

Is someone really arguing that love and sex aren't considered needs again?

Basic need*

And no they are not. Well.. Love is but love is just too unprecise, the good thing would say that social relationship are basic needs.

Love relationships are not tho.

+ no chances to bring life to the next generation
+ lack of drive in life other than to satisfy your ego

What is wrong with that ?

Some people are just living for themselves and not to make children. And they are perfectly happy.

Thus, the idea that sex and love relationships are basic need or even secondary ones is false.

 

[Okamakama]

Some people are just living for themselves and not to make children. And they are perfectly happy.

Thus, the idea that sex and love relationships are basic need or even secondary ones is false.

Sounds kind of soulless bro. Living just for yourself. Lmao.

Just how narcissistic does somebody have to be to live that way?

 

[Logiko]

Sounds kind of soulless bro. Living just for yourself. Lmao.

Just how narcissistic does somebody have to be to live that way?

Thinking that being alone, just having friends and living for yourself and not a love relationship or the seek to reproduce is a narrow vision capitalism and heteronormativity brainwashed you with mate.

It's not about narcissism, it's about feeling good with yourself without the need to absolutely find someone. It's actually quite liberating because it allows us to know ourselves better when.. in the case of someone who go from one relationship to another, they don't have that time or will.

And talking about soulless, you just have to look the different of empathy between us for strangers. You are defending a cryptofascist and an oppressive system that threatens other people and I'm doing the opposite. And yet, I'm alone, and you are not.

 

[Mashiro Blue]

This is interesting. Let's see.

• Physiological needs: Basic needs for survival, such as food, water, shelter, and sleep

All of the above are instinctual/shared with other species.

• Safety needs: Security of body, employment, resources, morality, the family, health, and property

Instinctual.

• Love and belonging needs: Friendship, family, intimacy, and a sense of connection

Instinctual.

• Esteem needs: Respect, self-esteem, status, recognition, strength, and freedom

This is more derived from awareness/ consciousness of self. Which is lacking in most species.

• Self-actualization: The desire to become the best that one can be

Same as former.

Only last two are exclusively for humans. Although self actualization is quite vague and depending on the person it could be tied to one of the needs above it.

 

[Okamakama]

Thinking that being alone, just having friends and living for yourself and not a love relationship or the seek to reproduce is a narrow vision capitalism and heteronormativity brainwashed you with mate.

It's not about narcissism, it's about feeling good with yourself without the need to absolutely find someone. It's actually quite liberating because it allows us to know ourselves better when.. in the case of someone who go from one relationship to another, they don't have that time or will.

And talking about soulless, you just have to look the different of empathy between us for strangers. You are defending a cryptofascist and an oppressive system that threatens other people and I'm doing the opposite. And yet, I'm alone, and you are not.

Cope lad. Lmao.

Being alone is fine. Living for yourself is narrow. It disconnects you.

You basically said live for yourself, got called out, and then said you have friends to live for.

I'll care for the opinions of those who I care fot. You? Your opinions about me are worthless.

 

[Logiko]

Being alone is fine. Living for yourself is narrow. It disconnects you.

Not necessarily no.

Being alone without relationship (friendly one) do disconnect you, but not living for yourself.

You basically said live for yourself, got called out, and then said you have friends to live for.

You don't understand (and that something reccurrent with people like you here) because you don't read.

Living by yourself does not mean having no relationships, it means having friends but not relying on the love of someone else to be happy.

Don't confuse your lack of understanding of celibacy and relationships with me calling myself out mate.

I'll care for the opinions of those who I care fot. You? Your opinions about me are worthless.

Sure. That's why you take your time to reply to me. You care about my opinion just as much as I care about yours.

And contrary to some of you guyz, I understand my worth enough and I'm not too insecure to know that being celibat will not impact my happyness.

Celibacy is ok. In fact only friendship in life is ALSO ok. If yuo don't want to, you don't have to seek loving relationships. Be happy with yourself first and if something must happen, it will happen naturally.