I Need to Consultation on My Life

[Sadistic Senpai]

Good day everyone,
This is a very sensitive topic about my current life situation, and I need advices, support, and opinion on the matter...

For anyone who does not know this about me, I am an Arab guy (Palestinian) who actually lives in gulf region (so basically an environment where tradition of obeying family elders comes first and sometimes it costs you to lose yourself and not be who you want to be) all for the sake of being so called “Good son”

My issue started from 10 years ago when I was 18 years old... recent high-school graduate... with highest score between my colleagues in school... There was a huge discussion about my future with my father... A person I would say “would do anything to make you do what he wants”... The discussion was so intense with my father that he refused my choices... destroyed the dinner table (Sanji would be mad for it Lol)... and even went as far as drawing out sympathy from an unexperienced youthful guy by pretending to have heart attack and all kinds of method in order for me to enter the one specialty I do not love (medical school) and we know how fucking long Medical school can take from you!

Anyway, I surrendered to such preassure at one point because I was pressured by all family members that this is the only way they would stand behind me with... huge pressure I should have never surrendered to back in the day... I still blame myself about it... but really it was inexperience from me...especially in a society where obeying your parent is a MUST no matter the consequences...

Anyways, I got into medical school, I passed sometimes... but majority of times I FAILED miserabely... I wasted 7 years of my life and I could not pass 3rd year! I got stuck in that year numerous times that I got into a phase of depression because I was seeing people around me advance in their life... while I am stuck! No progress... I reached a point where I hated going to university because I do not want to see the face of spacific doctor being sarcastic with me about being stuck... I even hated doctors advice of even trying or studying harder.. I was just a huge mess... Last year in university I didn’t attend any class and I withdrawn from subjects... and I didn’t even mention that to my family cause I just wanted to stay away from anyone from any headach!

after that year, I decided to end everything... and withdraw from university at the age 26...
and I decided to start working instead and find my own path in life.... That resulted in huge uproar and upset by my family... regardless... I started to work as an assistant to CEO in a company... I worked there for sometime... and then I decided to leave the company to find a different place... the reason was that the culture in that company is not suited for me... there was a lot of backstabbing between employees.. a lot of bad environment like cursing your employee.. bad mouthing.. and the straw that broke the camel’s back was that I was asked to forge some papers in the contract for an employee contract there to which I refused the administration request... I felt that I cannot trust my future with such a company where they can easily ask their employers to lie, fake papers and do all kinds of dirty work... I couldn’t trust them... not to mention I worked there for two and a half month, and I have yet to receive my salaries... so in my trial period in contract.. I asked to get out... and I resigned... and to this day I am demanding my salary from them in court sessions online... but that’s not the issue here...

the issue came after that which is now... I am being once again pressured by my own family to basically follow a path they draw it for me... while I am completely against it... This time I am actually more stubborn on my stand... more firm on my decision... and more aware of their method of trying to pressure you into taking the decision that makes them happy right now, but will cost me to lose myself once again...

The issue here is that day after day... they use every possible way to reject my plans and shut it down morally... like no fucking moral support whatsoever... always claiming you’re ideas will fail, always reminding me that I am a disappointment... even going as far as claiming that I am a person with no feelings cause I don’t care about obeying or pleasing my parents anymore or include them with my decision... the point... I am freaking ranting and I honestly just wanted to get that out of my chest!

is it really a bad thing for someone trying to find his own path, and trying to start from Zero and wanting to build his own future with no one else interference or trying to hold you down!?
Is it really a right for parents to decide who you should be?
Is it really bad for having different views on life than your society or family?
At what point we should draw a line!?

Again, just ranting, but wanted advice, support, or whatever opinion you guys have! I really don’t know whom to talk to about this when everyone around me where I live is just against me now! So I just wanted to share this here... hoping for anything positive..

 

[Doggo]

First of all, you have my full support, although limited.
Second, I'm not gonna pretend that I know exactly how you feel. I've had my trials (still have), and I'm still trying to figure some things out. But one thing I know for sure: my life is my own. There's nothing wrong with honoring traditions, respecting your parents, etc, but ultimately, you have to do what's best for you. Life is not an anime where characters completely devote their lives to someone else. We are real, and our problems need real solutions.
IF you are able and willing, seek psychological assistance can do wonders for you. If you feel like you have no one around to support you, at least having a professional helping you to improve your mental health is a very good thing. After that, you might have a better state of mind to figure out what's your next step.
This is as far as I'm able to give you any kind of advice. But I do sincerely hope you can find a way to work things out and improve your life quality.

 

[Owl Ki]

Well, I ain't going to pretend to understand how other cultures work because I don't.

Regardless, my opinion and advice to anyone is that your life should be just that, your life. Do what you want to do with it, don't live somebody else's life.

Honestly mate, your family sound like arse holes. To directly attempt to control and manipulate another person's life is pretty disgusting.

Parents should teach and guide their children, to give their offspring the necessary tools and confidence to strive out in life. Case in point in guidance, my brother utterly sucked at languages (the only French phrase he ever got correct was "I don't know" and that was purely unintentional on his part) and had a talent for sciences, so she advised him against languages and encouraged him towards sciences. He eventually ended up a police officer (somehow) which had absolutely nothing to do with any educational subject that he ever did but mum's proud regardless because hey, he found his calling in life and he is happy with it.

Also, don't be afraid of failure. Failure is a learning curve. Yeah it sucks but if you just roll with the punches and go with the flow, you will find yourself somewhere. Don't know where that is but at least it will be your own journey.

I don't know if you will find the above words helpful or cheesy but hot damn it would be poor form to leave you hanging because shit must be bad if you are going to a weeb forum for life advice (no offence intended).

 

[Jew D. Boy]

Damn, dude, sounds like you’ve really been through it...but the bottom line is that taking care of number one is never the wrong decision. You’ve got your own dreams, ambitions, ideas about what you want your life to look like; it’s unfair for anyone, including and especially your immediate family, to try and contain your spirit and mold you into something you neither are nor want to be.

Disengaging from blood relatives can be a tough but necessary measure for your own happiness. I’m not saying to cut them out completely if you don’t want to, but if they’re trying to make you, a grown man, live under their thumb, then you would not be wrong to make your own decisions without their input. At some point, toxic family members are just as destructive and demeaning as any other negative influences, you can’t be expected to follow their rules your entire life.

I know we’re just strangers on an anime forum, but I hope you know that your life is your own, and you get to make the final call on what you make of it :cheers:

 

[Sadistic Senpai]

First of all, you have my full support, although limited.
Second, I'm not gonna pretend that I know exactly how you feel. I've had my trials (still have), and I'm still trying to figure some things out. But one thing I know for sure: my life is my own. There's nothing wrong with honoring traditions, respecting your parents, etc, but ultimately, you have to do what's best for you. Life is not an anime where characters completely devote their lives to someone else. We are real, and our problems need real solutions.
IF you are able and willing, seek psychological assistance can do wonders for you. If you feel like you have no one around to support you, at least having a professional helping you to improve your mental health is a very good thing. After that, you might have a better state of mind to figure out what's your next step.
This is as far as I'm able to give you any kind of advice. But I do sincerely hope you can find a way to work things out and improve your life quality.

Much appreciated man for the advice

Post automatically merged: Jun 2, 2021

Well, I ain't going to pretend to understand how other cultures work because I don't.

Regardless, my opinion and advice to anyone is that your life should be just that, your life. Do what you want to do with it, don't live somebody else's life.

Honestly mate, your family sound like arse holes. To directly attempt to control and manipulate another person's life is pretty disgusting.

Parents should teach and guide their children, to give their offspring the necessary tools and confidence to strive out in life. Case in point in guidance, my brother utterly sucked at languages (the only French phrase he ever got correct was "I don't know" and that was purely unintentional on his part) and had a talent for sciences, so she advised him against languages and encouraged him towards sciences. He eventually ended up a police officer (somehow) which had absolutely nothing to do with any educational subject that he ever did but mum's proud regardless because hey, he found his calling in life and he is happy with it.

Also, don't be afraid of failure. Failure is a learning curve. Yeah it sucks but if you just roll with the punches and go with the flow, you will find yourself somewhere. Don't know where that is but at least it will be your own journey.

I don't know if you will find the above words helpful or cheesy but hot damn it would be poor form to leave you hanging because shit must be bad if you are going to a weeb forum for life advice (no offence intended).

Thank you, I did find it helpful, I swear

Post automatically merged: Jun 2, 2021

Damn, dude, sounds like you’ve really been through it...but the bottom line is that taking care of number one is never the wrong decision. You’ve got your own dreams, ambitions, ideas about what you want your life to look like; it’s unfair for anyone, including and especially your immediate family, to try and contain your spirit and mold you into something you neither are nor want to be.

Disengaging from blood relatives can be a tough but necessary measure for your own happiness. I’m not saying to cut them out completely if you don’t want to, but if they’re trying to make you, a grown man, live under their thumb, then you would not be wrong to make your own decisions without their input. At some point, toxic family members are just as destructive and demeaning as any other negative influences, you can’t be expected to follow their rules your entire life.

I know we’re just strangers on an anime forum, but I hope you know that your life is your own, and you get to make the final call on what you make of it :cheers:

It’s because we’re strangers on anime forum that I wanted to share this stuff... sometimes strangers who have no agenda behind their comments will give you their unbiased opinion

 

[Fuckthis3]

Sucks your family got the mindset" we gotta look good at all time so most people don't talk Bad about us"

 

[Den_Den_Mushi]

Sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time mate. I’m Asian, so I have some ideas about how families from certain cultures can be overbearing and attempt to weigh in on your life’s decisions even though you’re legally an adult.

The only advice I can give is that sometimes you’ve got to do the hard thing and prune the branches for toxic relationships. If there are individuals in your life who apply constant pressure and expectations, threaten your mental health and overstep your boundaries, it may be time to sever ties. It sucks at first, but you’ll eventually feel the effects across your physical and mental well-being, and even your performance in your job and other relationships. It’s never too late to decide on a different path in life, just make sure to surround yourself with people who genuinely want the best for you and won’t just tell you what you want to hear.

Good luck.

 

[TheKnightOfTheSea]

It may be hard to cut out toxic people who have been part of your life for a long time, especially family members, but like Den-Den said, it's healthier for yourself.

Surround yourself with people who care more about you, not you're achievements.

Do you know anyone older who has had similar negative experiences to you in the past? If you feel comfortable, ask them for advice.

Consider therapy if you feel like you need it.

Good luck bro.

 

[Adam 🍎]

Your life is called your life for a reason
Your parents might pressure you to do something but at the end of yo day it is your life.

If your family is being like a cancer to you, only pulls you down then sever ties. They should support you, respect your wishes.

Best thing about adulthood is that you can make your own family. So make yourself a family you can find love and respect in

 

[uyuu]

Phew. Senpai is on serious mode. Very well.

- medical school is, like most fields, suited to the one willing enough to do and persevere in its depth. Learning basic science (anatomy, histology biomedics, biochemistry physiology, pharmacology, pathology etc) and clinical science (surgery, internal medicine-pediatrics, ophthalmology etc) require someone who is willing to give full attention and effort toward it all. It's going to be a base of medical career where a patient come and ask for your diagnosis and capability to solve the problem. In my country, to be a general physician (GP) requires 6 years minimum, 4 years to get academic degree and 2 more years to get the earliest medical doctor title, GP. In developed countries like yours, maybe lil bit shorter. Aiming to be a specialist (like orthopedist or pediatrician or psychiatrist, neurologist etc) requires extra 4-5 years give or take


1st question: do you still have a chance of continuing where you left off in medical school?

A. If you do, i suggest for you to at least finish until you have the academic degree first. If you're in the 3rd year, it means 1 more year to get the degree right?

Once you graduate, you don't have to continue to profession. Just take master degree, just 2 years and those 2 are easier years than the bachelor. Now the master degree has more spread branches, there are medical sciences, management, public health, even medical law and policy. So there are plenty of choices regarding field of study-slash-career, if only you can just maintain 1 more year to get your academic degree, and 2 easier years (really, i'm not sugar-coating) to get your master degree.

But meanwhile, you have to research about those fields of medical work. Because while it's a wide choice, are you willing to do this? you still have to experience career and working life. And any of those fields may still contain backstabbing and office or politics. That's the nature of company and office in general. So maybe with your character, you should research about a company with good social environment instead of prestige and strong salary?

Remember, if you can just get that damn academic degree, it would earn you a path of career since you can choose to pursue master's degree, even if you don't continue to get the physician licence (second degree, hippocratic oath yadda yadda, after academic). Tell this to your family, make sure they recognize this.

B. If you don't have a chance to continue in medical school, or if you have a chance but you don't want anything to do with it, i suggest you to search for ways to earn. Sometimes in the beginning you must force yourself to do what you don't like, whether to earn sufficient monthly salary or to sell anything that you can, like your own product or monetize your activities in social media etc. Now instagram and youtube are extremely solid, much more solid than my field of work imo. My student are making - from makeup content in youtube - at least twice my salary, even when i had 1 academic degree and 1 master degree in a certain field. What the hell is that. You can always pursue that kind of influencer life with your attractive appearance that i've seen in other threads. You have attractive posts and ways of expressing yourself too, just have to translate it in the form of your body language and verbal communication if you wanna pursue being an influencer.


---

A or B aside,

Back then when i was fresh graduate and so on, my principles of arguing with my parents are like this:

- i must build a solid career first. By solid, back then i had mild standards: solid career is a career that allows me to feed myself and one other person, and it allows me to pay monthly rent of one room. It's my own standard to even have a chance. It's powerlevel stuff man. If you can hold your own bargaining position, your opinions are heard. Now i think you should strive for this as first priority. It's urgent. It's your powerlevel tier.

- I discuss instead of debate. I listen to their hopes about me. I listen first until the end, no interrupting. Just respectful nods and considering what they say. After they run out of things to say, then i express my feelings, my personal choice and targets. As detailed as possible, as roadmap-ish as possible, i mention the key phases (my first phase is selling this, once i get it i will apply in this coffee shop, and then if i will save this much by the course of 2 years. Then, i will save enough to buy my own piece of small land without a house. Before building my own small house at that piece of land, maybe i need a loan from you etc).

- i try not to pit my target against theirs. So in explaining my aims, i try not to mention or contradicting their hopes.

- i try to make a middle ground. Between their hopes and mine. I try to pursue my career but that career also involves something that's associated with their hopes about me. That way, they feel my efforts more.

---

Do keep update of your situation, Senpai. I hope it sorts out well.

 

[Nidai_Kitetsu]

This is just my personal opinion, so dont take it the other way.

There is only two people in the world who will genuinely love you and root for you no matter what you become. Yes, I am talking about your father and mother. They are not rooting for you for any benefit, they dont have any sort of competition or rivalry with you.

From their perspective, they probably saw a brilliant son who could accomplish greater things in life. I have some ideas how well the medical doctors are respected in that region. In any part of the world, they are the highest earners on average and they dont have to worry about job security like most other professions. Thats probably what your parents were thinking. Now, you didnt tell what alternative subjects you wanted to choose. There is a possibility that they thought its a waste of potential for a kid who "scored highest among his peers".

With age comes experience. Lets be honest, a 18 year old sometimes do not know the consequence of a decision. This is not a big deal in a western country where the government and social security can take care of you, where you can prosper by following any path for yourself. However, this is not true for many other parts of the world and your choice of an undergrad subject or university has major consequences.

I am trying to say, you should be sympathetic to your parents' decisions and try to understand where they are coming from. At the same time, the world is changing so fast. People can even earn from instagram or youtube, who saw that 10 years ago! So parents can be sometimes stuck with archaic ideas which doesnt really make sense in the modern world. In this cases, you have to be tactful and follow your decision without hurting their egos.

No matter what, do not sever your ties with your parents. You will regret it later.

 

[BleakAsh]

i can help but Laugh at this coz damn sure been a roller-coaster i have been in even as someone who is a decade younger.

as a brother and someone who is a wreck himself, here is an advice..
whenever you are lost and the world around you becomes your worst foe... just remember even in the deepest of abyss there is always someone with you..
someone you have been calling out 5 times a day 7days a week.. turn to him and remember him every step you're about to take.... he is the best help the best consolation you could every get in this wicked, twisted, self-centered, capitalistic, and cynical world.

When it comes to parents you just pointed out the epitome of families in our Arab/Paki society... you're an older brother so i bet you have broken down to them and emanated all your pain and conflicts to them...if not i won't blame you for being a dignified man.. since your parents are not reciprocating.. give them the respect they deserve but follow your instincts with spiritual assistance..

if you excepted this life to be easy... eeee i bet i don't have to break it down for ya LMAO

so

if you want consolation.. I'm here and the rest too.. but before that someone else deserves that respect and devotion as well

we will assist you with advice.. but don't sway your morals compass with what we say.. you know what your compass as a Muslim should be... pray follow your instincts,stumble, break down, but don't forget to rise up


.. saying all this makes me realize what hypocrite i am, but this gives me hope as well.

I'll keep you in my prayers from now on.. dw you'll have assistance that you need inshallah

 

[garciajulieen]

Man, you are on the right path. Do what are you passionate about. I am living a freelancer life for about 5 years now after working for 3 years as a teacher in a french school, and about 7 month in a travel agency. While i know that i cant never know how much i get every month, but i can assure you that the happiness that comes from the freedom I get cant be paid with any amount of money. I am doing multiple job as a freelance : an adventure tour guide doing stuff like hiking, rafting, snorkeling; taking some translations job, and also teaching french to Indonesian people and vice versa. Each job I do is my own choice, i love them all, and having said that, i never feel like i am working when i do my job : I feel like doing my hobby. The same feeling of when i read one piece if not even happier. However i'm lucky enough to have a familly that always let me free to take my own choice, so i cant give you any advice on that. But rest assured that only you can choose what you want for your life. Noone knows you better than yourself. Good luck man, and be free.

 

[Master OF Haki]

Good day everyone,
This is a very sensitive topic about my current life situation, and I need advices, support, and opinion on the matter...

For anyone who does not know this about me, I am an Arab guy (Palestinian) who actually lives in gulf region (so basically an environment where tradition of obeying family elders comes first and sometimes it costs you to lose yourself and not be who you want to be) all for the sake of being so called “Good son”

My issue started from 10 years ago when I was 18 years old... recent high-school graduate... with highest score between my colleagues in school... There was a huge discussion about my future with my father... A person I would say “would do anything to make you do what he wants”... The discussion was so intense with my father that he refused my choices... destroyed the dinner table (Sanji would be mad for it Lol)... and even went as far as drawing out sympathy from an unexperienced youthful guy by pretending to have heart attack and all kinds of method in order for me to enter the one specialty I do not love (medical school) and we know how fucking long Medical school can take from you!

Anyway, I surrendered to such preassure at one point because I was pressured by all family members that this is the only way they would stand behind me with... huge pressure I should have never surrendered to back in the day... I still blame myself about it... but really it was inexperience from me...especially in a society where obeying your parent is a MUST no matter the consequences...

Anyways, I got into medical school, I passed sometimes... but majority of times I FAILED miserabely... I wasted 7 years of my life and I could not pass 3rd year! I got stuck in that year numerous times that I got into a phase of depression because I was seeing people around me advance in their life... while I am stuck! No progress... I reached a point where I hated going to university because I do not want to see the face of spacific doctor being sarcastic with me about being stuck... I even hated doctors advice of even trying or studying harder.. I was just a huge mess... Last year in university I didn’t attend any class and I withdrawn from subjects... and I didn’t even mention that to my family cause I just wanted to stay away from anyone from any headach!

after that year, I decided to end everything... and withdraw from university at the age 26...
and I decided to start working instead and find my own path in life.... That resulted in huge uproar and upset by my family... regardless... I started to work as an assistant to CEO in a company... I worked there for sometime... and then I decided to leave the company to find a different place... the reason was that the culture in that company is not suited for me... there was a lot of backstabbing between employees.. a lot of bad environment like cursing your employee.. bad mouthing.. and the straw that broke the camel’s back was that I was asked to forge some papers in the contract for an employee contract there to which I refused the administration request... I felt that I cannot trust my future with such a company where they can easily ask their employers to lie, fake papers and do all kinds of dirty work... I couldn’t trust them... not to mention I worked there for two and a half month, and I have yet to receive my salaries... so in my trial period in contract.. I asked to get out... and I resigned... and to this day I am demanding my salary from them in court sessions online... but that’s not the issue here...

the issue came after that which is now... I am being once again pressured by my own family to basically follow a path they draw it for me... while I am completely against it... This time I am actually more stubborn on my stand... more firm on my decision... and more aware of their method of trying to pressure you into taking the decision that makes them happy right now, but will cost me to lose myself once again...

The issue here is that day after day... they use every possible way to reject my plans and shut it down morally... like no fucking moral support whatsoever... always claiming you’re ideas will fail, always reminding me that I am a disappointment... even going as far as claiming that I am a person with no feelings cause I don’t care about obeying or pleasing my parents anymore or include them with my decision... the point... I am freaking ranting and I honestly just wanted to get that out of my chest!

is it really a bad thing for someone trying to find his own path, and trying to start from Zero and wanting to build his own future with no one else interference or trying to hold you down!?
Is it really a right for parents to decide who you should be?
Is it really bad for having different views on life than your society or family?
At what point we should draw a line!?

Again, just ranting, but wanted advice, support, or whatever opinion you guys have! I really don’t know whom to talk to about this when everyone around me where I live is just against me now! So I just wanted to share this here... hoping for anything positive..

Do whatever you want! If you fail then there would be no one to blame, but if you 'give in' to your family, then you will blame them for destroying your life. Your family will eventually understand, if they love you then they will for sure understand. Never allow others to decide for you, you're an individual, you're the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.

 

[Elder Lee Hung]

Some good advice thrown your way so far, I’ll throw mine in too. I’m not part of your culture but here goes.

1. If your family is going so far as to fake heart attacks in order to force you down a career path that you don’t enjoy, then they do not have your best interests at heart and are coming from a place of self-fulfillment. IE, they want you to be a doctor because of how it satisfies them, not because they are thinking about what would fulfill you or make you happy. Not saying your parents don’t love you, but from the context it sounds like the first thing you understand is that you aren’t receiving this pressure from a place of “we want the best for you” but rather “we want you to do this because it would make us happy”. From my standpoint; it’s easy to throw their wants out of the window when you realize this. I would say the same about my own parents and family if this applied to me.

2. I am not a religious person, you might be, but at the end of the day from my perspective, this is the only life you can be sure that you have. You may believe in or hope for another life after death and that’s fine, but at the end of the day there is only one life that you know you have. And it would suck to be in the same position you are now next month, because your only ‘guaranteed’ time is fleeting. Pursue what fulfills you because it fulfills you, it doesn’t matter what anyone else wants or thinks.

I know that’s easy to say and much harder to do, but don’t listen to anyone who tells you you can’t do something. You can literally accomplish whatever you want, and doubt is just an illusion.

So find what you want and go for it, through all of the fake heart attacks that are thrown your way. Luffy’s ‘parent’ wanted him to be a Marine, so what did he do in response?

 

[Sadistic Senpai]

Some good advice thrown your way so far, I’ll throw mine in too. I’m not part of your culture but here goes.

1. If your family is going so far as to fake heart attacks in order to force you down a career path that you don’t enjoy, then they do not have your best interests at heart and are coming from a place of self-fulfillment. IE, they want you to be a doctor because of how it satisfies them, not because they are thinking about what would fulfill you or make you happy. Not saying your parents don’t love you, but from the context it sounds like the first thing you understand is that you aren’t receiving this pressure from a place of “we want the best for you” but rather “we want you to do this because it would make us happy”. From my standpoint; it’s easy to throw their wants out of the window when you realize this. I would say the same about my own parents and family if this applied to me.

2. I am not a religious person, you might be, but at the end of the day from my perspective, this is the only life you can be sure that you have. You may believe in or hope for another life after death and that’s fine, but at the end of the day there is only one life that you know you have. And it would suck to be in the same position you are now next month, because your only ‘guaranteed’ time is fleeting. Pursue what fulfills you because it fulfills you, it doesn’t matter what anyone else wants or thinks.

I know that’s easy to say and much harder to do, but don’t listen to anyone who tells you you can’t do something. You can literally accomplish whatever you want, and doubt is just an illusion.

So find what you want and go for it, through all of the fake heart attacks that are thrown your way. Luffy’s ‘parent’ wanted him to be a Marine, so what did he do in response?

I’m not religious too (on the contrary to my family) and it’s also one of the methods they use where they claim disobeying them will result in the wrath of god on me Hhhh

 

[Yubel]

I know what you're going through, I've gone through/going through the same thing albeit less extreme than your situation.

I'm still figuring things out so I'm in no position to give advice but some helpful tips I've learned along the way should prove to be valuable to you.

The first step in all this is getting your health in order, start doing some kind of training you like to do, eat better, sleep more, take care of your health, it seems unrelated but it's the most important thing.

Take care of your mental health too, you have no one to support you so you need to support yourself, tell yourself positive affirmations everyday, stay away from negative thought patterns, your mind is a garden and you need to cultivate that garden instead of ignoring it and letting everyone dump their toxic waste in there, that's how you'll eventually downgrade your mental health to the point you get mental illness.

Do something temporarily, even if you have to listen to your parents, take a road that isn't really what you want for yourself long term but that you don't hate to do either. Do that then work on your side hustle in complete secret, that's where I am atm so I can't give you anymore pointers, you'll figure things out as you go along and you'll grow as a person.

Final advice if you want to call it that is don't rely on outside circumstances to get better, infact expect things to stand in your way and ruin your plans, make your plan work in the worst of circumstances and you'll experience a sense of freedom that few ever discover.

Everything I said is from my personal experience so take what works for you and good luck.

 

[uyuu]

Some good advice thrown your way so far, I’ll throw mine in too. I’m not part of your culture but here goes.

1. If your family is going so far as to fake heart attacks in order to force you down a career path that you don’t enjoy, then they do not have your best interests at heart and are coming from a place of self-fulfillment. IE, they want you to be a doctor because of how it satisfies them, not because they are thinking about what would fulfill you or make you happy. Not saying your parents don’t love you, but from the context it sounds like the first thing you understand is that you aren’t receiving this pressure from a place of “we want the best for you” but rather “we want you to do this because it would make us happy”. From my standpoint; it’s easy to throw their wants out of the window when you realize this. I would say the same about my own parents and family if this applied to me.

2. I am not a religious person, you might be, but at the end of the day from my perspective, this is the only life you can be sure that you have. You may believe in or hope for another life after death and that’s fine, but at the end of the day there is only one life that you know you have. And it would suck to be in the same position you are now next month, because your only ‘guaranteed’ time is fleeting. Pursue what fulfills you because it fulfills you, it doesn’t matter what anyone else wants or thinks.

I know that’s easy to say and much harder to do, but don’t listen to anyone who tells you you can’t do something. You can literally accomplish whatever you want, and doubt is just an illusion.

So find what you want and go for it, through all of the fake heart attacks that are thrown your way. Luffy’s ‘parent’ wanted him to be a Marine, so what did he do in response?

I know some kid with similar issues lol, the parents goes into bedrest mode and it became real illness, it became a kind of somatic mental disorder where the parents was traumatized by the kid's refusal to continue medical school that it triggered symptoms similar to systemic infection. The internist didnt find anything lol so apparently it's psychiatry stuff.

Even whem from the child's view, imo we should try to be kind and comforting to the parents but that kind of parental perspective is a bit creepy for me lol

 

[Date]

When was in my teen years i told my family, that is deeply Catholic, that iam a atheist, they freak out and started to make everything to control my life and said i was being fooled by satan and thing like that, my life become shit, and with 19 i find job that could at least pay for the rent and get out of my parents house, that was the turning point, my parents keep being assholes with me, but i had my own money, wasnt much but at least was mine, and started to live by myself, think in this cases the best thing u can do is to become independent from theirs money, because they can complaim and say whatever they want, but nothing besides this, as they dont even need to know with what u work. Today after some years out, my relation with them have improved as they see me as someone with responsability that dont depend on them anymore, even if I havent lived the life they wanted for me.



If course there's the cultural difference, i live in one of biggest cities in the world, soo i was able to make new connections with friends and social groups and dont feel that alone, but if u live in a small city where basically u know everyone its harder to get out of your parents wings.

Pehaps a terapy would help a lot, dont know if its commom in your country, but if exist, could help to talk with a professional, not only to help u undestand why u feel that why, but why your parentes behave that way and what could u do deal with the conflicts in your family, bit especially in your mind.

 

[VersusPhD]

Sorry about your situations. Is there a way for you to seek help from another relative? Say for example an uncle or an aunt? Maybe they can help alleviate the issue a bit? @Sadistic Senpai