Controversial Is dating really as hard as some people say it is?

[Monkey D Theories]

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about how dating is so hard nowadays, but idk. I can’t help but wonder if that’s more to do with the person than society as a whole.

I think if you want to get married, that can’t be that difficult. You just find someone who is good enough and you make it work. My family is from india and most of these people had arranged marriages. That’s how I presume their relationships went down.

I think people who are struggling with dating probably aren’t thinking about it in these terms. I think a lot of people, myself included, have gotten too caught up in thinking of relationships as more than what they are: a means to an end.

I want to start a family with someone to carry on my ancestors’ genetic line. I only have so much time to do it(even as a man). Hence you can only kick the bucket down the road for so long, and eventually you just need to buckle down and make something work to accomplish your goals. Even if the person you choose doesn’t match all your fantasies, or isn’t everything you wanted in a partner.

 

[Monster Zoro's Tesla Supplier]

Haven't really had a serious relationship
But I feel that as long as you're kind and responsible you'll get far

 

[Nidai_Kitetsu]

You just find someone who is good enough and you make it work.

I like that. My bro @Monkey D Theories is growing up

 

[Bisoromi Bear]

Don't tag everything as controversial

 

[gz89]

Dating/marriage in modern societ is harder than it was 20-30y ago imo but if you know your priorities and you can find a down to earth woman it works fine. The difficult part is to find the "correct" person.

Idk your age i assume you are in your early 20s so i dont really want to make you feel bad but get ready for (i hope not many) dissapointments, but its also part of the game and it will mature you as well.

 

[TheKnightOfTheSea]

it's harder than it was before covid

but as long as you have some social skills and aren't an ogre(personality wise) it's not bad

 

[Logiko]

I think the problem of dating is not dating. Its the fact that people will get stuck in toxic or non fruitful relationships. And to avoid that, I have only one advice:

Know yourself better.

- What do you believe in ?
- What are your values ?
- What is your political side, what side can't you stand ?
- What do you like and what do you hate in culture, in sex, in relationships, in society ?
- Do you want a future or nothing serious ?
- Do you have project or not at all ?
- Do you like surprises or not ?
- What type of person are you ?
- Do you want children or not ?
- What type of children do you want to raise ?
Etc.

If you know what you want and what you are and especially what you doesn't want, you won't suffer during dates, you will be able to have real conversations and see right away what kind of person matches with you.

As long as you respect yourself and you respect others, there should be no problem.

(ps: Don't hit on people in the streets)

 

[Reborn]

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about how dating is so hard nowadays, but idk. I can’t help but wonder if that’s more to do with the person than society as a whole.

I think if you want to get married, that can’t be that difficult. You just find someone who is good enough and you make it work. My family is from india and most of these people had arranged marriages. That’s how I presume their relationships went down.

I think people who are struggling with dating probably aren’t thinking about it in these terms. I think a lot of people, myself included, have gotten too caught up in thinking of relationships as more than what they are: a means to an end.

I want to start a family with someone to carry on my ancestors’ genetic line. I only have so much time to do it(even as a man). Hence you can only kick the bucket down the road for so long, and eventually you just need to buckle down and make something work to accomplish your goals. Even if the person you choose doesn’t match all your fantasies, or isn’t everything you wanted in a partner.

Dating/relationship/marriage is just best friends having intimate relationship.


If you can understand this then it will work out for you.

 

[grey matter]

Dude, go back to India and find a woman there.

They are far more sane and doesn't have insane standards like those in the west. Kinda have a frame of reference aside from media cause I've been in US for some years for masters and job.

After seeing the insanity in the west and every country that went to "dating", I'm good with arranged marriages.

But IIRC you hate India or Hindus or something from one of your past posts, so IDK

 

[K!NG HARA$H!MA]

If you have the looks, it's a cake walk.

 

[Monkey D Theories]

Dude, go back to India and find a woman there.

They are far more sane and doesn't have insane standards like those in the west. Kinda have a frame of reference aside from media cause I've been in US for some years for masters and job.

After seeing the insanity in the west and every country that went to "dating", I'm good with arranged marriages.

But IIRC you hate India or Hindus or something from one of your past posts, so IDK

I said my family is from India

I’ve lived my entire life in Texas.

Also I don’t hate india or Hindus, nor have I ever said anything of the sort.

 

[MonsterZoro]

dating is easy your all virgins

 

[Nidai_Kitetsu]

They are far more sane and doesn't have insane standards like those in the west.

Very true. I know people who are going for Asian woman because they dont want to deal with these insane expectations.

 

[Reborn]

dating is easy your all virgins

They aren't bald so they don't know how easy it is to attract women

 

[Monkey D Theories]

Very true. I know people who are going for Asian woman because they dont want to deal with these insane expectations.

I don’t know how true this actually is.

I mean I’m sure any man in the west could leverage their wealth to marry a poorer woman in Asia looking for a passport.

I just don’t think that’s conducive to a healthy relationship. Tbh I think guys who gravitate towards this behavior tend to be kinda trash.

 

[Nidai_Kitetsu]

I don’t know how true this actually is.

I mean I’m sure any man in the west could leverage their wealth to marry a poorer woman in Asia looking for a passport.

I just don’t think that’s conducive to a healthy relationship. Tbh I think guys who gravitate towards this behavior tend to be kinda trash.

You are entitled to your opinion. IMO its completely acceptable to explore alternatives rather than facing unhealthy competition and insane expectations.

 

[grey matter]

I said my family is from India

I’ve lived my entire life in Texas.

Also I don’t hate india or Hindus, nor have I ever said anything of the sort.

Interesting, I remember something along those lines of you shitting on India, saying you want to convert off etc. But whatever.

But anyway, dating is a clown show, there are only so many times you can date and break up before every relationship would start failing due to pessimism, comparison, lack of trust, reduction in pair bonding etc.
Arranged marriages work better due to this reason, don't need to waste time on dating and jumping on hoops and instead work on improving your career, find a woman who roughly aligns with your world view (who preferably haven't been in relationships before) and the chance the marriage works out becomes significantly higher than in west, where about 50% fail and you lose your stuff

Post automatically merged: Mar 25, 2024

Very true. I know people who are going for Asian woman because they dont want to deal with these insane expectations.

I don’t know how true this actually is.

I mean I’m sure any man in the west could leverage their wealth to marry a poorer woman in Asia looking for a passport.

I just don’t think that’s conducive to a healthy relationship. Tbh I think guys who gravitate towards this behavior tend to be kinda trash.

Here is the thing actually. You should be willing to settle in those countries if you do that. So, no to passport gold diggers (who are bad choices anyway).

Bring them to say US, and the insanity gets in through like osmosis lol.

 

[Cruxroux]

Dude, go back to India and find a woman there.

They are far more sane and doesn't have insane standards like those in the west. Kinda have a frame of reference aside from media cause I've been in US for some years for masters and job.

After seeing the insanity in the west and every country that went to "dating", I'm good with arranged marriages.

But IIRC you hate India or Hindus or something from one of your past posts, so IDK

I might stop you there.
We might not have some problem as west but different and far worse than west in a few cases.

This society is obsessed with incestual marriages.
No matter how you keep a relationship , through how many hardship , family would never agree. I know it ain't a concept in west to get parents consent in western society but indian families are nuclear people barely move out of their family stuck with family and years of peer pressure from dead people and their culture.
India society is on a verge of collapse because of that , marrying into same caste has made it worse , amount of diabetic condition due to invredding and many other disease don't cease to exist.

And looking on the other side of indian society they are getting influenced by Western ideology and what US went through in their 90s and 2000s , the divorce crisis , that's what we are facing now on the other side.
Divorce rate keep on increasing yesr by year. I understand domestic violence and abuse could be a reason but that's lile 5-10% of it.

Remaining are baseless divorces. And given our laws so fucked up against men.
- Women can have extra marital affairs and it's legal.
- women getting pregnant during marraige while having an affair , the married person has to take the responsibility no matter what. DNA test can justify it but That's illegal again and indian law never let that happen.
- Women can simply charge mental abuse case against the guy and family , and what mental charges? Like being told to do what an average independent woman should do.
- Men have to pay To the woman and kid (not even his) after divorce. Allimony laws are fucked too.

Yesterday only I saw a guy (my friend) had an outbreak made a scene , because his mother was having an extra marital affair and defending her boyfriend (our age). Bro was just crying their why you ruining the whole family.

But in the end , Mom got millions of money in allimony and left them for good.

Our generation isn't even opting for marriages anymore , we are way too scared at this point.

After all this only thing remains is hookups - online dating - situationships.
Which are increasing extra marital affairs and divorce rates in india.

We will soon have Western society crises.

 

[Cruxroux]

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about how dating is so hard nowadays, but idk. I can’t help but wonder if that’s more to do with the person than society as a whole.

I think if you want to get married, that can’t be that difficult. You just find someone who is good enough and you make it work. My family is from india and most of these people had arranged marriages. That’s how I presume their relationships went down.

I think people who are struggling with dating probably aren’t thinking about it in these terms. I think a lot of people, myself included, have gotten too caught up in thinking of relationships as more than what they are: a means to an end.

I want to start a family with someone to carry on my ancestors’ genetic line. I only have so much time to do it(even as a man). Hence you can only kick the bucket down the road for so long, and eventually you just need to buckle down and make something work to accomplish your goals. Even if the person you choose doesn’t match all your fantasies, or isn’t everything you wanted in a partner.

Dating and relationship isn't hard buddy.
You don't need to find a perfect person.
Just find a person who's responsible and accountable for their actions (accountability is kryptonite to women).
There will be compromises , but it will be for greater good.
Dating is hard or not depends upon the person you're with.
There's no clear answer to that.

 

[Cruxroux]

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about how dating is so hard nowadays, but idk. I can’t help but wonder if that’s more to do with the person than society as a whole.

I think if you want to get married, that can’t be that difficult. You just find someone who is good enough and you make it work. My family is from india and most of these people had arranged marriages. That’s how I presume their relationships went down.

I think people who are struggling with dating probably aren’t thinking about it in these terms. I think a lot of people, myself included, have gotten too caught up in thinking of relationships as more than what they are: a means to an end.

I want to start a family with someone to carry on my ancestors’ genetic line. I only have so much time to do it(even as a man). Hence you can only kick the bucket down the road for so long, and eventually you just need to buckle down and make something work to accomplish your goals. Even if the person you choose doesn’t match all your fantasies, or isn’t everything you wanted in a partner.

Personally speaking I'm not opting for relationship anymore (I used think that 6 months ago). Found someone good , cultured and mannered.
Trust me my whole relationship history is so pathetic , women ended up cheating most of the time , validation and attention is to women what porn is to men. They can barely live without it.
There was no accountablity at all.
They blame their traumas in the end , and traumas are trend these days. I cheated because my uncle expired before I was born (my ex reasoning to cheating). And i was supposed to or expected to accept that because what else could I do. I got legal warning when I tried to hold her accoutable for it. (Charges being - mental trauma).
My current one is following law and in practice , helped me out of it , luckily no actions were ever taken.

I see so many men struggling from this on internet everyday , reddit/quora everywhere.

I found these golden words there
" Accountability is Kryptonite to Women ".
They know very well , they can get away with anything how law and legal system is getting designed now.

I'm not generalising every women into this , My current one isn't that kind either. Don't make this some hate comment Gainsy women.
But think of this as a general warning.
Because majority of women will be like this , if you want to know the number , see men around you who are addicted to porn , equate it to women needing attention and validation from multiple sources.