The general rant thread

B

Ballel

#81
#81
People who choose to live in "ignorant bliss" and think their consumerism is acceptable.

They're simply too spineless to accept responsibility for their actions, they're weak and ultimately selfish and egoistic.

It's hard for me to have any respect for such people. I'm not sure they even have any right to exist imho
 
G

Gorosei Informer

#82
#82
It's taken me a long time to realise and understand but I think a lot of my family have narcissistic/sociopathic tendencies at least and I'm suffering from it especially now but in the last decade too and even my whole life due to it. I don't know how much I should and can say on here but some harm has come to myself just now and I've trashed my room and some other stuff in a sheer fit of rage.

Y'all might think this is extremely immature, reckless and such and you may be right but I've been abused in all kinds of ways since childhood by my family, some I'm not sure if I can say or should say on here but think of some truly depraved ways people can abuse you and you can probably guess it.

My mum is always making fun of me and putting me down. Since childhood, she blames me for her being overweight, tells me that I was a C-Section birth only to tell me decades later that I'm lying, that I made it up and I was a natural birth. She also used to tell me she had 4 miscarriages before me and she can't lose weight from being majorly obese because of me too.

She also keeps blaming other men when she dates them and she knew her dating other men randomly was upsetting me, so she got her sister and cousins to attack me, blaming me and guilt tripping me for getting upset. When I was a teenager/child, they also abused me in a way deliberately that I can't even talk about on here but unsurprisingly she denies it and just says I'm sick in the head even though I know it happened, it traumatised me my whole life, made me unable to be touched by others without want to break down crying, not being able to trust women, girls, people with authority and such easily and so on.

Its very long and difficult to explain how things got to this way right now, but long story short we had a massive fight earlier because of her being extremely petty and always picking fights, being cynical, aggressive/hostile, putting me down etc constantly and I snapped into a violent rage, maybe the worst I've had so far and I've trashed my room and other stuff in anger. I've hurt myself in the process too.

Sometimes after an argument, she will suddenly act very nice, friendly, to the point its unbearably uncomfortable/fake/obviously insecere and she loves doing this in front of others especially. She will give sob stories to my relatives so they hear that I'm apparently a vicious monster that needs a complete grilling on how lucky, entitled, ungrateful etc I am.

She used to physically hit me when I was a lot younger too. She also convinced me my dads side of the family are complete evil, they will just lie to me, gaslight/brainwash me, abuse me, control me etc and to never have contact with them. When I did get contact with thme after 15 years, it almost turned my whole mums side of the family against me permanently and she kept acting like she was the biggest victim of all this, getting her sister to verbally assault me because i'm making my mum suffer and being selfish for wanting to see my dad.

Theres some details I'm purposely omitting because of how severe, graphic, explicit and just not able to be said on here I mean but this is much worse than what I'm also saying.

I just don't know what else to do right now, I'm at my breaking point and I just need help, I need a miracle. I feel like I'm falling apart and honestly, this is all the root cause of the reason I act the way I do, why I have my outbursts/breakdowns on here, why I kept insisting on running away/taking a break/leaving and right now I just genuinely want to run away from my family and never see them again for as long as I live tbh (not literally as in blindness though ofc, I dont want no monkeys paw, wish gone wrong shit going on, im already fairly blind anyway)

Even just now, my grandad was asking me whats going on after I slammed a door and his only concern was the house getting damaged and not if i'm ok. I snapped at him and all he cared about was his house getting damaged. My mum has come upstairs, not said anything to me but just gathered up some of the stuff I threw around and smashed and went back down.

She will always run away whenever I argue with her enough, break out crocodile tears or even go the silent treatment, acting like a child throwing a tantrum, even in public. Its fucking embarassing.

I might sound like an asshole here and I accept that, I've believed myself to be an asshole for most of my life at least, especially being told I am one by my mum and her sister especially for most of my life now and my mum even telling me at some points that was I an accident, that I wasnt wanted and she would be better off without me.

Idk what else to say, I just really needed to get this off my chest because I'm in tears right now and I don't know what else to do. I've never felt so humiliated and broken in my life.
 
B

Ballel

#84
#84
Ghostly Reflections said:
right now I just genuinely want to run away from my family and never see them again for as long as I live tbh
Click to expand...
Good idea.
Ghostly Reflections said:
I might sound like an asshole here a
Click to expand...
No, you're NOT the asshole.
Ghostly Reflections said:
and my mum even telling me at some points that was I an accident, that I wasnt wanted and she would be better off without me.
Click to expand...
Wtf that's the worst.

Bruh, leave these people. They're not good for you.

Ghostly Reflections said:
When I was a teenager/child, they also abused me in a way deliberately that I can't even talk about on here
Click to expand...
You talked about this before :pepemotion:
Ghostly, these people are evil. You should take care of yourself, what if she'll harm you?!
Those kinda people are crazy and it wouldn't be the first time that someone in your situation gets killed.

Seriously. Get outta there!!
 
Cross_Marian

Cross_Marian

‎
#85
#85
Ghostly Reflections said:
It's taken me a long time to realise and understand but I think a lot of my family have narcissistic/sociopathic tendencies at least and I'm suffering from it especially now but in the last decade too and even my whole life due to it. I don't know how much I should and can say on here but some harm has come to myself just now and I've trashed my room and some other stuff in a sheer fit of rage.

Y'all might think this is extremely immature, reckless and such and you may be right but I've been abused in all kinds of ways since childhood by my family, some I'm not sure if I can say or should say on here but think of some truly depraved ways people can abuse you and you can probably guess it.

My mum is always making fun of me and putting me down. Since childhood, she blames me for her being overweight, tells me that I was a C-Section birth only to tell me decades later that I'm lying, that I made it up and I was a natural birth. She also used to tell me she had 4 miscarriages before me and she can't lose weight from being majorly obese because of me too.

She also keeps blaming other men when she dates them and she knew her dating other men randomly was upsetting me, so she got her sister and cousins to attack me, blaming me and guilt tripping me for getting upset. When I was a teenager/child, they also abused me in a way deliberately that I can't even talk about on here but unsurprisingly she denies it and just says I'm sick in the head even though I know it happened, it traumatised me my whole life, made me unable to be touched by others without want to break down crying, not being able to trust women, girls, people with authority and such easily and so on.

Its very long and difficult to explain how things got to this way right now, but long story short we had a massive fight earlier because of her being extremely petty and always picking fights, being cynical, aggressive/hostile, putting me down etc constantly and I snapped into a violent rage, maybe the worst I've had so far and I've trashed my room and other stuff in anger. I've hurt myself in the process too.

Sometimes after an argument, she will suddenly act very nice, friendly, to the point its unbearably uncomfortable/fake/obviously insecere and she loves doing this in front of others especially. She will give sob stories to my relatives so they hear that I'm apparently a vicious monster that needs a complete grilling on how lucky, entitled, ungrateful etc I am.

She used to physically hit me when I was a lot younger too. She also convinced me my dads side of the family are complete evil, they will just lie to me, gaslight/brainwash me, abuse me, control me etc and to never have contact with them. When I did get contact with thme after 15 years, it almost turned my whole mums side of the family against me permanently and she kept acting like she was the biggest victim of all this, getting her sister to verbally assault me because i'm making my mum suffer and being selfish for wanting to see my dad.

Theres some details I'm purposely omitting because of how severe, graphic, explicit and just not able to be said on here I mean but this is much worse than what I'm also saying.

I just don't know what else to do right now, I'm at my breaking point and I just need help, I need a miracle. I feel like I'm falling apart and honestly, this is all the root cause of the reason I act the way I do, why I have my outbursts/breakdowns on here, why I kept insisting on running away/taking a break/leaving and right now I just genuinely want to run away from my family and never see them again for as long as I live tbh (not literally as in blindness though ofc, I dont want no monkeys paw, wish gone wrong shit going on, im already fairly blind anyway)

Even just now, my grandad was asking me whats going on after I slammed a door and his only concern was the house getting damaged and not if i'm ok. I snapped at him and all he cared about was his house getting damaged. My mum has come upstairs, not said anything to me but just gathered up some of the stuff I threw around and smashed and went back down.

She will always run away whenever I argue with her enough, break out crocodile tears or even go the silent treatment, acting like a child throwing a tantrum, even in public. Its fucking embarassing.

I might sound like an asshole here and I accept that, I've believed myself to be an asshole for most of my life at least, especially being told I am one by my mum and her sister especially for most of my life now and my mum even telling me at some points that was I an accident, that I wasnt wanted and she would be better off without me.

Idk what else to say, I just really needed to get this off my chest because I'm in tears right now and I don't know what else to do. I've never felt so humiliated and broken in my life.
Click to expand...
Reading this made me so sad… our thoughts are with you, stay strong mate! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

My family is also pretty toxic and I hate most of them. Only my mother, sis and my mother side a great. My father and his relatives are absolute shit heads. Sadly they live in Germany and my mother side lives in Turkey…
Most of them cheated on their wives, they’re are liars, have no sense for justice, love money, have a lot of complexes and are fucking two faced. I can’t even tell my uncle that I’m gonna make my Bachelor because I’m afraid the he would be jealous, yes he’s like that.
I even got a 2.0 in my psychology test without studying or reading a book, you know why? Because I understood psychology just by seeing and analysing the different behaviours of my toxic fathers side.

You can’t choose your family, your ethnicity etc. but you choose your friends and your own path.
It hurts and it sucks , I know it but you will learn to don’t give a fuck about them and their opinions because they don’t deserve you
 
G

Gorosei Informer

#86
#86
solis said:
Good idea.

No, you're NOT the asshole.

Wtf that's the worst.

Bruh, leave these people. They're not good for you.


You talked about this before :pepemotion:
Ghostly, these people are evil. You should take care of yourself, what if she'll harm you?!
Those kinda people are crazy and it wouldn't be the first time that someone in your situation gets killed.

Seriously. Get outta there!!
Click to expand...
Thank you Solis-kun, I really appreciate it. I have an extreme variety of mental and some physical health issues as well as the dreaded Autism so I'm really scared to put myself out there, especially with how mentally/emotionally vulnerable I am.

But at this point, I'm seriously considering contacting a homeless hostel or respite or whatever I can get. I just wish I had someone else I could live with, someone who is actually caring, patient, understanding, open minded etc. Someone actually supportive.

She has harmed before tbh but i'm not gonna lie, I've had dreams/visions of her assaulting/trying to kill me at some point too.

That is true, there are times I've almost ended up dead by my own hand too due to all of this. I really regret not getting away years ago, especially when my dads' family were in contact and offering to taken me in and give me support back in my home country too. I was far too scared and confused on whether I could trust them at all.

Thank you so much for reading and responding and the comfort and understand too, I really appreciate it.

This song feels kinda apt right now:

[automerge]1657653589[/automerge]
Cross_Marian said:
Reading this made me so sad… our thoughts are with you, stay strong mate! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

My family is also pretty toxic and I hate most of them. Only my mother, sis and my mother side a great. My father and his relatives are absolute shit heads. Sadly they live in Germany and my mother side lives in Turkey…
Most of them cheated on their wives, they’re are liars, have no sense for justice, love money, have a lot of complexes and are fucking two faced. I can’t even tell my uncle that I’m gonna make my Bachelor because I’m afraid the he would be jealous, yes he’s like that.
I even got a 2.0 in my psychology test without studying or reading a book, you know why? Because I understood psychology just by seeing and analysing the different behaviours of my toxic fathers side.

You can’t choose your family, your ethnicity etc. but you choose your friends and your own path.
It hurts and it sucks , I know it but you will learn to don’t give a fuck about them and their opinions because they don’t deserve you
Click to expand...
Thank you Cross-san! My fellow Silver enjoyer! :P

Aw man, German and Turkish? That sounds like a brutal combo potentially? Ooof thats rough, thats horrible.

You mean a Bachelors Degree? Its really shitty when people get jealous like that, especially when they act out on it.

Damn man, talk about the ultimate way to learn lol, actual real experience leading to success in a certain academic area, thats really bittersweet, damn. I've wanted to learn Psychology too but I never thought of real life experiences being able to help that much with studying it, that makes a lot of sense that it can actually and I guess its a way of a negative becoming something positive too?

I'm sorry to hear that, that must be so rough to live with but congrats on your Psychology degree, thats really impressive!

Thank you for sharing and giving your story as well as your prayers/blessings and compassion! Its really helping.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Cross_Marian

Cross_Marian

‎
#87
#87
Ghostly Reflections said:
Thank you Solis-kun, I really appreciate it. I have an extreme variety of mental and some physical health issues as well as the dreaded Autism so I'm really scared to put myself out there, especially with how mentally/emotionally vulnerable I am.

But at this point, I'm seriously considering contacting a homeless hostel or respite or whatever I can get. I just wish I had someone else I could live with, someone who is actually caring, patient, understanding, open minded etc. Someone actually supportive.

She has harmed before tbh but i'm not gonna lie, I've had dreams/visions of her assaulting/trying to kill me at some point too.

That is true, there are times I've almost ended up dead by my own hand too due to all of this. I really regret not getting away years ago, especially when my dads' family were in contact and offering to taken me in and give me support back in my home country too. I was far too scared and confused on whether I could trust them at all.

Thank you so much for reading and responding and the comfort and understand too, I really appreciate it.

This song feels kinda apt right now:

[automerge]1657653589[/automerge]


Thank you Cross-san! My fellow Silver enjoyer! :P

Aw man, German and Turkish? That sounds like a brutal combo potentially? Ooof thats rough, thats horrible.

You mean a Bachelors Degree? Its really shitty when people get jealous like that, especially when they act out on it.

Damn man, talk about the ultimate way to learn lol, actual real experience leading to success in a certain academic area, thats really bittersweet, damn. I've wanted to learn Psychology too but I never thought of real life experiences being able to help that much with studying it, that makes a lot of sense that it can actually and I guess its a way of a negative becoming something positive too?

I'm sorry to hear that, that must be so rough to live with but congrats on your Psychology degree, thats really impressive!

Thank you for sharing and giving your story as well as your prayers/blessings and compassion! Its really helping.
Click to expand...
Thank you a lot 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Both sides are Turkish but my fathers side lives here in Germany.
I don’t have a degree in Psychology, it was just one extra subject I needed to choose back then but thank you mate!

Everyone carries some kind weight and you learn that you’re nothing alone and sometimes you can feel powerless but sometimes you have the chance to turn something bad into something good. Endure the pain and just move on, someday you’ll find your own happiness. Don’t try to be alone, I tried it because people broke my heart but that’s not the right way. Try to find some people who accept and love you instead.
I wish you good look on your own way 🙏🏼🍀
 
B

Ballel

#88
#88
Cross_Marian said:
I even got a 2.0 in my psychology test without studying or reading a book, you know why? Because I understood psychology just by seeing and analysing the different behaviours of my toxic fathers side.
Click to expand...
Relatable lol.

Ghostly Reflections said:
I'm really scared to put myself out there, especially with how mentally/emotionally vulnerable I am.
Click to expand...
Believe me, you'll toughen up when you get some experience.
I didn't know how I'll deal with stuff after I moved away for uni.
But I got used to it, when you force yourself to accept a challenge you'll learn it naturally.

Ghostly Reflections said:
She has harmed before tbh but i'm not gonna lie, I've had dreams/visions of her assaulting/trying to kill me at some point too.
Click to expand...
Ghostly Reflections said:
That is true, there are times I've almost ended up dead by my own hand too due to all of this.
Click to expand...
Shiiiiiitt that's serious.
Get tf outta there, we don't want you to end up dead:believe:
 
G

Gorosei Informer

#92
#92
Cross_Marian said:
Thank you a lot 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Both sides are Turkish but my fathers side lives here in Germany.
I don’t have a degree in Psychology, it was just one extra subject I needed to choose back then but thank you mate!

Everyone carries some kind weight and you learn that you’re nothing alone and sometimes you can feel powerless but sometimes you have the chance to turn something bad into something good. Endure the pain and just move on, someday you’ll find your own happiness. Don’t try to be alone, I tried it because people broke my heart but that’s not the right way. Try to find some people who accept and love you instead.
I wish you good look on your own way 🙏🏼🍀
Click to expand...
Ahh I see, thats very cool though! Having Turkish and German lineage! I went on holiday to Turkey years ago and absolutely loved it, I was meant to go to Germany many years ago to meet a close friend of mine one day too! Dusseldorf I think it was?

Yeah thats some really good advice and points too, I'm definitely dwelling on what you said there right now. Yeah, solitude/isolation may seem nice or the right option in the short run, but in the long term it ruins you, it drives you literally crazy and damages you, we're social creatures that need to be together, in tribes of our own so to speak.

Thank you so much anyway man and you're very welcome too, much appreciate it!

solis said:
Relatable lol.


Believe me, you'll toughen up when you get some experience.
I didn't know how I'll deal with stuff after I moved away for uni.
But I got used to it, when you force yourself to accept a challenge you'll learn it naturally.



Shiiiiiitt that's serious.
Get tf outta there, we don't want you to end up dead:believe:
Click to expand...

Yeah thats true, its the ultimate test really, make or break, you either learn to swim or drown so to speak. I struggle with even basic things because I'm so mentally inept/incompetent so thats why I'm scared tbh. I'm really bad at learning things too.
[automerge]1657655453[/automerge]
Cross_Marian said:
My mother always says: "an honest foe is better than a fake friend."
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This is so profound and true. I've had to learn this the hard way many times now.
 
B

Ballel

#93
#93
Ghostly Reflections said:
. I struggle with even basic things because I'm so mentally inept/incompetent so thats why I'm scared tbh. I'm really bad at learning things too.
Click to expand...
Bruh a year ago I didn't even know how to read a bus schedule:suresure:
I would always ALWAYS get lost on a straight path and shit.
Now public trasportation is routine to me, registered a new address and moved twice in a year, deal with landlords and all that official stuff, been to 3 different hospitals in one year, travelled across the country multiple times to take care of some stuff and all that while slowly recovering from a serious injury.

Don't belittle yourself man.
You can do this!:kata:
 
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