Well......um, my next door neighbor who has never communicated with me for 2 years decided to team up with some 50 year old red haired whale to shoot pictures of my porch and report me to the management for causing a "visual disturbance" ; now all I had there were a couple of plants, like Thyme, Basil, Mint etc which I regularly used since I'm a home cook. At that time I had put 2 broken chairs out, which I had intended on fixing, but apparently this was a criminal offence to the highest order, my landlord texted me the report and if you read this thing you would think I had a goddamn Ikea Infront of my house; now the part that almost made me lose my hairline was that they also mentioned that I had " an assortment of strange plants"........like I was Walter White cooking up some Lilly of the Valley toxin to kill a child or something. Now get this, the same whale that teamed up with my half a retard neighbor had damn near a floristry Infront of her house, while he had an entire propane grill and a glass kitchen table with like six chairs.
Now I'm thinking of doing some shit back to them, but I don't wanna be that guy. This dude regularly brings around escorts and smokes, which blows over to my side and I hate the smell of cigarettes, but I never complained about it cause I don't want to be THAT GUY. Now I had to throw away my EASILY REPAIRABLE chairs......but if they thought I was going to dump the plants......they had another thing coming. So I contemplated my options and came down to three; 1. Burn his house to the ground, 2. pay one of his whores to bite his dick off, 3. report him for petty shit until he prostrates Infront of me begging for mercy. So I decided to do none of that and instead printed out a "Monitored by video camera" sign and putting it on my door, by doing this I had pretty much eliminated any possibility of the dynamic duo standing at my house staring and taking pictures, like forensics. And just the thought of them being paranoid and uncomfortable with every movement they make thinking they were being monitored just added another hour on my sleep and half an inch more on my dick.
At one point I thought It was a race thing, later on I found out that the two were owners, so they had this superiority complex, probably thought they had some authority and certain rules didn't apply to them. The whale who would regularly walk Infront of my house to inspect never came back and the guy probably got the messages after a couple of thousand yard stares. Didn't matter anyway, I kept my plants, lost the chairs, but now they live in paranoia.