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I figured it out my guys, I finally figured it out. Bleach is a manga that is so bad, it’s actually good. This shit is Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room” in manga form. I read a series like Record of Ragnarok, and I slowly but surely lose interest as the repitition and mediocrity sets in and I just don’t have the desire to read anymore.
Bleach on the other hand is so amazingly stupid that I can’t help but keep reading even as the events that I’m seeing just make me laugh in sheer disbelief. There’s enough “good” sprinkled in to keep me reading but overall this manga is simply unintentional comedy gold for me. It is by all accounts, inferior to a series like Record of Ragnarok, and yet Record of Ragnarok has lost my attention entirely while I’m 250 chapters into Bleach laughing my ass off and having a great time reading the stupidity in front of me.
Is Bleach so bad it is paradoxically good? To me, the answer is yes.
So let’s start off with the Inoue abduction plot. This shit came from absolutely nowhere lmfao, I feel like Titty spontaneously realized that the best part of Soul Society was the “rescue RUkia” plot, and so he retroactively and arbitrarily inserted a “rescue Inoue” aspect into an arc who’s “plot” had absolutely nothing to do with rescuing a captured friend, and the Arrancar’s reasons for wanting to kidnap her was the most mid shit I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
So the Inoue rescue plot is dumb as fuck, but now I want to talk about a character who, for me, is probably the dumbest motherfucker I’ve ever seen in a manga.
Just look at that stupid mug…
You see, it’s not that Ulquiorra is actually the dumbest character I’ve ever seen in a manga, it’s that Titty wants me to think Ulquiorra is intelligent while simultaneously knowing as much about writing intelligent characters as he knows about females, which is to say he knows even less than nothing. He possesses negative knowledge.
I wish I could’ve set up a camera to capture my exact reaction while listening to this idiot explain the “”””””””””genius””””””””””” Inoue capture plan that he orchestrated because this shit was
almost…..as dumb as chapter 199 Megatitty. Almost.
So, Ulquiorra explains that his attempt to make Inoue join the Arrancar’s willingly was gigabrained because it simultaneously convinced Inoue to come while not fighting back, while also discouraging her friends from attempting a rescue because they believe she gave herself up willingly.
I’m watching this stupid motherfucker explain this, literally at the exact same as Inoue’s friends are attempting a rescue operation. Literally the exact same fucking time.
Ulquiorra then explains that Inoue surrendering willingly also deterred the Soul Reapers from attempting a rescue operation.
Um, so quick question: why the fuck would the Soul Reapers even consider a rescue operation if you guys kidnapped Inoue against her will? I mean the Soul Reapers seem extremely weary of Aizen’s power, and it’s not like these guys are so friendly with Inoue that they would risk all out war with Aizen’s faction over her. Yamamoto doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would give a single fuck about one human life, this is the same guy who was ready to kill his two best captains solely because they attempted to stop what they thought was a conspiratorial plot against the Soul Halberd (a conspiracy plot Yamamoto either didn’t care about or was too stupid to detect himself). And it’s not like the Espada even planned to kill Inoue, so she wasn’t even in real physical danger. So why would the Soul Reapers care even if you kidnapped her against her will? I have no idea.
Lastly, Ulquiorra states that Inoue’s will to resist has been crushed, and I have no doubt that Inoue’s inevitable “I want to live!” Moment will make Ulquiorra look even dumber than he already looks.
Oh wait, but apparently this was all Lord Aizen’s plan. So it looks like Aizen is a dumbass too. Penis neck is over here like “oh Aizen is such a genius!” Bruh. I can already tell Titty is about to fuck Aizen up lmfao. Titty is good at writing average-brained badasses like Kenpachi, he absolutely, absolutely, absolutely should not attempt to make Aizen intelligent. This will not end well. Lol
Alright so what else. Grimjow killing Octopussy was a nice moment. I can see why people like him, sometimes. Lol
Alright so I’ve been told that I’ll supposedly enjoy a character named Barragan. Then sure enough, I see an old Akainu-looking motherfucker among the Arrancar lmfao. I’m not sure if this is Barragan but short stuff sure does look like Shrekazuki himself.
On to the next one.