*scrolls through 599 promoted tweets and replies from verified accounts I don’t and would never follow*
Well, guess that’s all the Twitter I’m allowed to eat today!!
*throws phone in trash, puts on shirt that says BILLIONAIRES MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER ACCORDING TO THIS TBI I RECENTLY SUSTAINED*
Let’s say you choose to do all of the following things:
Pay $250K to go underwater
Get into a privately owned and knowingly unsafe container
Trust a Logitech gaming controller to drive the tin can
Believe you can defy nature despite so, SO much evidence to the contrary
If these are all decisions made while being conscious of the risks, guess what?? You fucked around…and that always leads to finding out 🤷♂️
I wanna mansplain the joke that I’m not sure y’all are getting - “shepherd” can mean leading someone to something and “peter” is an esoteric term for cocks, so “Shepherd Jew Peter” in this case is meant to be read as “Guiding Jew Penis.” Hope this helps!! 👋🙏
Today, this month, and always, I stand with the LGBTQIA+ community under any circumstances; love is love, and we could all use a little more of that regardless of where it comes from ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Heard that the US government is giving away free lighthouses as they’ve been rendered useless by GPS, and it honestly sounds better than apartment living ever has…you may only have one big curved wall, but at least you don’t have to share it with anyone!! 😎😤🫠
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