The issue is on dating apps you are competing with pretty much the entire city if not world in some cases. And women are in the driver's seat, they essentially get whoever they swipe. So when you as a women have all the options in your fingertips, ofcourse you are gonna filter out as much as you possibly can. So this is a massive disadvantage for most men, it's not just the content giving off an unhealthy illusion it's a legit phenomenon, but this is far more prevalent on these dating apps.
In person it is a completely different game, depending on the setting the only one you are competing with could be yourself at that moment in time. This is where being confident takes precedence above everything else. I've seen some of the shortest dudes bag the most women, and I'm talking 5'4" levels of short.