Thanks. Unfortunately without giving an entire life more or less a certain family member made up extremely horrific lies about me and convinced my family they're true without any evidence nor consistent testimony, motive, opportunity etc but because she's the golden apple of the family she could commit murder and they'd walk through hell to defend and protect her. Because she can do no wrong.
So family is not an option. Possibly my grandmother's sister In rise park but she elderly and has a daughter with way more severe mental issues from an extremely abusive ex husband so it's better I don't ask her even though she would gladly put me up if I did. My other relatives are elderly or busy with their own severe life problems atm so I have no alternative AFAIK.
My dad passed away recently so I'm already unstable due to that. His family are all abroad and they probably hate me too for refusing to come see him when he was dying before.
I'm gonna see if I can get respite care, some kind of special adult support living which is available here, as I am classed as disabled but also having certain mental health issues diagnosed (Big surprise).
I should have gotten away years ago like Solis kept saying, they encouraged me to runaway but I was against that but now I'm sure to no surprise to them, they were right to some degree at least.
These assholes who I'm blood related to Unfortunately are so exceedingly narcissistic it's cartoonish.
I've contacted my therapist but sadly no response yet but illl know she will call ASAP when she can. Probs busy or away.
I've been trying to calm myself, think more positively and distract myself, I'm meant to be going on a week long holiday right now RIP but I'm certain my family are trying to gaud me into doing things I will regret and thus already bave done now. It's hard to explain without full context but once I get calmed down and I've been to hospital and such, I'll try to give a full explanation, context later.
But the TLDR is I've been hounded by false accusations for MANY years now and the bitch behind them is trying to turn my whole nit just close but extended families against me. She's ruined an extended family members marriage permanently before, a friend of the family business into shutting down permanently somehow, and she's getting away with it too.
I seem to be her next target but she's gotten away with abusing her own kids (letting them starve and thus neglect, threatening them in various ways to the point they were comstantly terrified of her, causinb eating disorders etc) and sister and even physically fighting one of my uncles wives in a restaurant and yet I just snap, swear and call people out and I get treated like ive committed the most heinous of unforgivable crimes in my family lmao.
It's so daft I dunno whether to laugh or cry anymore. I'm just so fundamentally broken at this point.
I'm sorry to bring this all up here wo suddenly but I needed to vent somewhere urgently, desperately and just get some rational 2nd opinions and advice. for all my complaints here this place is amazing fir that when push comes to shove. I almost never see support anywhere else like I do here.
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The ambulance is gonna be 4 hours or less apparently. But I think it will help me to go to hospital. My family are gonna keep being in denial of what they're doing to me until it escalates, into potentially fatal as it almost has again after so many years. (To this extreme I mean.)
I don’t know what is happening with your family and my words are maybe completely flat or not enough but don’t do anything to yourself, they don’t deserve it
You can completely vent in this thread and anytime
There are maybe a special number or something you can call in your place / country to talk to someone, you should try that too
And keep calling your therapist or an other one if yours isn’t available.
Thanks. Unfortunately without giving an entire life more or less a certain family member made up extremely horrific lies about me and convinced my family they're true without any evidence nor consistent testimony, motive, opportunity etc but because she's the golden apple of the family she could commit murder and they'd walk through hell to defend and protect her. Because she can do no wrong.
So family is not an option. Possibly my grandmother's sister In rise park but she elderly and has a daughter with way more severe mental issues from an extremely abusive ex husband so it's better I don't ask her even though she would gladly put me up if I did. My other relatives are elderly or busy with their own severe life problems atm so I have no alternative AFAIK.
My dad passed away recently so I'm already unstable due to that. His family are all abroad and they probably hate me too for refusing to come see him when he was dying before.
I'm gonna see if I can get respite care, some kind of special adult support living which is available here, as I am classed as disabled but also having certain mental health issues diagnosed (Big surprise).
I should have gotten away years ago like Solis kept saying, they encouraged me to runaway but I was against that but now I'm sure to no surprise to them, they were right to some degree at least.
These assholes who I'm blood related to Unfortunately are so exceedingly narcissistic it's cartoonish.
I've contacted my therapist but sadly no response yet but illl know she will call ASAP when she can. Probs busy or away.
I've been trying to calm myself, think more positively and distract myself, I'm meant to be going on a week long holiday right now RIP but I'm certain my family are trying to gaud me into doing things I will regret and thus already bave done now. It's hard to explain without full context but once I get calmed down and I've been to hospital and such, I'll try to give a full explanation, context later.
But the TLDR is I've been hounded by false accusations for MANY years now and the bitch behind them is trying to turn my whole nit just close but extended families against me. She's ruined an extended family members marriage permanently before, a friend of the family business into shutting down permanently somehow, and she's getting away with it too.
I seem to be her next target but she's gotten away with abusing her own kids (letting them starve and thus neglect, threatening them in various ways to the point they were comstantly terrified of her, causinb eating disorders etc) and sister and even physically fighting one of my uncles wives in a restaurant and yet I just snap, swear and call people out and I get treated like ive committed the most heinous of unforgivable crimes in my family lmao.
It's so daft I dunno whether to laugh or cry anymore. I'm just so fundamentally broken at this point.
I'm sorry to bring this all up here wo suddenly but I needed to vent somewhere urgently, desperately and just get some rational 2nd opinions and advice. for all my complaints here this place is amazing fir that when push comes to shove. I almost never see support anywhere else like I do here.
Post automatically merged:
The ambulance is gonna be 4 hours or less apparently. But I think it will help me to go to hospital. My family are gonna keep being in denial of what they're doing to me until it escalates, into potentially fatal as it almost has again after so many years. (To this extreme I mean.)
Thank you man . Luckily the paramedics came much faster than expected, I was completely shocked. They were extremely nice and understanding, really lovely, pleasant, humane people.
One of the things our country really does well is our medical service, I tell you dude the hospital staff here that have had to help me and my grandmother in the past are absolutely real angels on earth.
They've really calmed me down and were so supportive, empathic, encouraging. I'm in tears now they've gone as I've not been treated so well like that in so many years.
Completely opposite treatment from my grandfather gaslighting me aggressively and threatening violence and such.
I didn't go to hospital as they're extremely busy and I'm looking at a minimum of 14 hours if not far more to get seen. I've seen upwards of 24 to 48 hours waits on their schedules for less severe things ofc. that was only in March this year! not even covid times!
Luckily I didn't injure myself too much, but some irritation/scarring is there. The paramedics here are amazing.
Even when I was assaulted by a former friend who tried to take my own life, many years ago, the police showed up within 5 mins. The emergency services here are amazing. the cops were really compassionate, sincere and supportive too.
It's definitely one of the things this country should be proud of regardless.
I don’t know what is happening with your family and my words are maybe completely flat or not enough but don’t do anything to yourself, they don’t deserve it
You can completely vent in this thread and anytime
There are maybe a special number or something you can call in your place / country to talk to someone, you should try that too
And keep calling your therapist or an other one if yours isn’t available.
Seriously I really appreciate it. You're completely right, they don't deserve it, I can't let them have that over me, I can't let them be the reason I leave this world and so prematurely.
I think unfortunately some people in my family are just genuine sociopaths, not even exaggerating. You would think someone like Judge or Big Mom or Carmel are such exaggerations of shitty parents/family, so cartoonishly evil but the sad reality is, Oda is writing these characters from real life examples,inspirations.
One of the amazing things about One Piece is Odas unapologetic emotional whats the word, like brutally honest expression of emotions. He's so candid, explicit, raw etc. it makes one piece so relatable, so cathartic to see him write and draw out the hells and BS some of us go through, daily even.
Thank you man . Luckily the paramedics came much faster than expected, I was completely shocked. They were extremely nice and understanding, really lovely, pleasant, humane people.
One of the things our country really does well is our medical service, I tell you dude the hospital staff here that have had to help me and my grandmother in the past are absolutely real angels on earth.
They've really calmed me down and were so supportive, empathic, encouraging. I'm in tears now they've gone as I've not been treated so well like that in so many years.
Completely opposite treatment from my grandfather gaslighting me aggressively and threatening violence and such.
I didn't go to hospital as they're extremely busy and I'm looking at a minimum of 14 hours if not far more to get seen. I've seen upwards of 24 to 48 hours waits on their schedules for less severe things ofc. that was only in March this year! not even covid times!
Luckily I didn't injure myself too much, but some irritation/scarring is there. The paramedics here are amazing.
Tysm again dude. This is why I also love this place as much as I bitch and moan.
You guys absolutely care when it matters and are far kinder than many people I've met even though we're a lot of meatheads, trolls, agenda chasers, mighty morphin power scalers etc.
Again I truly apologise to make you guys worry so much and for this sudden outburst out of nowhere, but I truly was in a manic, hysterical state earlier, even my mum who barely shows emotion ever broke down crying as she saw my grandfather's true colours and what a incessantly proud POS he is, completely proud narcissist, not even subtle.
If I had been more successful and competent in life and not such q quitter, we could have been free of him a long time and living by ourselves, much happier and freer.
That's another thing about one piece. Oda isn't afraid to depict abusive families and thus coercive entrapment, financial abuse, familial imprisonment or whatever. Chatgpt explain My post better please (just kidding).
The paramedics gave me a ton of numbers including 24/7 crisis line number, a leaflet with tons of information, advice and some recommendations of more drastic and thus effective therapies including EMDR or something, which is used for military vets and other extremely severe PTSD cases.
They were really praising me for calling them immediately and trying to rationally diffuse my own attempted self assassination (bit of dark ironic humour) and being so honest, up front, communicative, co-operative etc.
Honestly I'm just so much in shock. I woke up 11 hours ago, thinking maybe I should sleep more and idk 8 hours later and thus 3 hours ago, maybe 4, I tried to take my own life somehow.
Life is just fucking insane like that. 1 minute you're all fine and dandy but seconds later you could be dead, severely injured, comatose or unconscious at least, traumatised etc depending. sorry that's very morbid and existential but given the timing and topic it fits right ofc?
The last time I tried something like this was around my 21st birthday before I reunited with my dads family for my birthday shortly after that. Now flash forward 14 years later, my dad has just died without me ever reuniting with him and I almost reunited with him in death instead.
There's no more of a cruel, ironic bitch than life itself.
God the NHS is so fucking underpaid but abused as you said and these fucking tossers or even mega twats and "Jeremy hunts" take full advantage of it being free and how overworked, exhausted, selfless, dedicated our warriors, our heroes are usually because they're bitter and or drunk too or just want attention too or whatever.
Thank you man. God bless our emergency services, genuinely. I need to repay them someday somehow. Literal lifesavers.
Just updating to let you guys know I'm ok now thank you.
I'm shook up, the impact of what happened has started sinking it and my anxiety is going wild, some panic attacks but I'm ok, I've been worse than I am atm and got through it before.
I'm just trying to take it easy, occupy myself and pass time before I get my much needed holiday tomorrow.
Whether I like it or not, well obviously not actually, I think what happened today had to happen regardless. Change doesn't come pleasantly or when we want it to (pause), but it's often vicious, merciless and unbiased, like a force of nature.
As much as I regret what happened today and will do for a long time now, I think things were needed to be said and done for the "greater good" or a better future.
I can't thank you all enough for your words of support and reaching out to me, I couldn't reply for a while due to the paramedics being over and they stayed a long time too, but I'm OK now. I think I'm in a lot of psychomatic pain or whatever, possibly fibromylagia like my mum has, just feel completely exhausted and achey but I'm ok somehow, I'm alive.
It's moments like these that really wake you up and go HEY, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOOL?! Etc.
I'll try to vent here more rather than bottling it up. I remembered this thread existed earlier and I'm glad for it I really needed it.
This is a hell of an eventful month with my dad, Hulk Hogan, Ozzy Osborne dying. Boomers not safe I guess?
Just updating to let you guys know I'm ok now thank you.
I'm shook up, the impact of what happened has started sinking it and my anxiety is going wild, some panic attacks but I'm ok, I've been worse than I am atm and got through it before.
I'm just trying to take it easy, occupy myself and pass time before I get my much needed holiday tomorrow.
Whether I like it or not, well obviously not actually, I think what happened today had to happen regardless. Change doesn't come pleasantly or when we want it to (pause), but it's often vicious, merciless and unbiased, like a force of nature.
As much as I regret what happened today and will do for a long time now, I think things were needed to be said and done for the "greater good" or a better future.
I can't thank you all enough for your words of support and reaching out to me, I couldn't reply for a while due to the paramedics being over and they stayed a long time too, but I'm OK now. I think I'm in a lot of psychomatic pain or whatever, possibly fibromylagia like my mum has, just feel completely exhausted and achey but I'm ok somehow, I'm alive.
It's moments like these that really wake you up and go HEY, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOOL?! Etc.
I'll try to vent here more rather than bottling it up. I remembered this thread existed earlier and I'm glad for it I really needed it.
This is a hell of an eventful month with my dad, Hulk Hogan, Ozzy Osborne dying. Boomers not safe I guess?
Glad that you don't do anything unnecessary and foolish, and now it seems you are in better condition.
We may not interact a lot and we don't always agree on One Piece subjects (Vergo, Kidd etc), but I remember you are one of the first person I met online in 2017 OroJackson, KoyoteIcarus. So I really don't want anything bad like self harming or worse happen to you.
P.s.
Sorry for the loss of your dad, and the unstable feeling you got from it. I lost my dad too last month. First half of 2025 felt sucks, hopefully it can be better in second half.
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. Luckily the paramedics came much faster than expected, I was completely shocked. They were extremely nice and understanding, really lovely, pleasant, humane people.
