Controversial General Political Discussion
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+1000
About living with love and legitimacy ?
How important and wise do you believe you are to think that you are entitled to say to people how to live their struggle ?
How about starting not doing that in the first place by putting your own desire on their way of life ?
There is only one lie in this situation and it reside in the mind of random people that think they know life so much better than people in difficult situation that they can coatch them out of of their own personal war. This is the lie of the savior. This is purely egotistical.
You want to know how to respect a person ?
Read One Piece
And act like Luffy. Do not tell people how they must live their struggle. Let them fight their OWN battle, don't interfere UNLESS they ask you for help or there are about to do something life threatening.
Remember than a fat person already knows that they are fat and that it is unhealthy
Love your family without condition.
Its the BEST way for you to show them your support.
About living with love and legitimacy ?
How important and wise do you believe you are to think that you are entitled to say to people how to live their struggle ?
How about starting not doing that in the first place by putting your own desire on their way of life ?
There is only one lie in this situation and it reside in the mind of random people that think they know life so much better than people in difficult situation that they can coatch them out of of their own personal war. This is the lie of the savior. This is purely egotistical.
You want to know how to respect a person ?
Read One Piece
And act like Luffy. Do not tell people how they must live their struggle. Let them fight their OWN battle, don't interfere UNLESS they ask you for help or there are about to do something life threatening.
Remember than a fat person already knows that they are fat and that it is unhealthy
Love your family without condition.
Its the BEST way for you to show them your support.
We should be less judgemental in general. It will create a better society for everyone.
Now, the toxic side of the self acceptance movement tells people to 1000% accept their current state of being and not do anything to improve their lives. Any attempt to improve their situation or better themselves according to their own wishes will be met with rejection, contempt and passive aggressive bullying.
Now, the toxic side of the self acceptance movement tells people to 1000% accept their current state of being and not do anything to improve their lives. Any attempt to improve their situation or better themselves according to their own wishes will be met with rejection, contempt and passive aggressive bullying.
I have a parent that has struggled with obesity all their life. The tireless fat shaming from their childhood peers and their own family made everything much much worse and gave them severe depression. When I was in middle school and they'd picked me up after class they'd never step outta the car lest the other students saw them. They'd ask me random out of context questions such as "do the kids in your class talk about your fat parent? Do they bully you for it??" when the kids from my class didn't even know who my parent is.
It's kinda like continuously telling a chain smoker to stop smoking because of the health issues it causes. They won't stop smoking and only be annoyed by you.
It's kinda like continuously telling a chain smoker to stop smoking because of the health issues it causes. They won't stop smoking and only be annoyed by you.
I've never seen anyone said that.
Accepting people is letting them fight their own battle while legitimizing them. It a double positive in order help everyone.
Which is normal. It must be their choice and only theirs. Its not up to anyone to tell a person how to live their life.
Indeed, I hope your parent is ok.
Yeah.. that's the problem with fat shaming. The biggest element comes from behaviors that are given out of love by the family..
I know that situation all to well. People who want for you to get better (because they love you) will always try to push you. But in reality this behavior is only reaffirming your own inner belief that you don't do enough to get yourself out of this situation. And so it make things worse.
The best behavior to adopt is sadly not something that is enough teached in society and that is what I call the "Luffy behavior":
Loving without condition, trusting the people we love to get out of their own battles alive and well and if they ask us for help (because trust leads to trust in return) then we must help them without conditions.
Love is trust.
Accepting people is letting them fight their own battle while legitimizing them. It a double positive in order help everyone.
Which is normal. It must be their choice and only theirs. Its not up to anyone to tell a person how to live their life.
Indeed, I hope your parent is ok.
Yeah.. that's the problem with fat shaming. The biggest element comes from behaviors that are given out of love by the family..
I know that situation all to well. People who want for you to get better (because they love you) will always try to push you. But in reality this behavior is only reaffirming your own inner belief that you don't do enough to get yourself out of this situation. And so it make things worse.
The best behavior to adopt is sadly not something that is enough teached in society and that is what I call the "Luffy behavior":
Loving without condition, trusting the people we love to get out of their own battles alive and well and if they ask us for help (because trust leads to trust in return) then we must help them without conditions.
Love is trust.
Said nothing about forcing things on people or pretending it's for their own good. I clearly said it's wrong to lie to people and create false expectations.
The point is that lying isn't kindness. People have to hope and have a sense of control in order to want to change. Lying to someone would always lead them to disappointment since what they're chasing doesn't exist. If someone had a problem that outside of their control, how exactly does lying to them lead to a better life in the end? They'll always be walking on ice.
You can be 100% supporting with the harsh truth. There's no bullying or dismissal here.
The point is that lying isn't kindness. People have to hope and have a sense of control in order to want to change. Lying to someone would always lead them to disappointment since what they're chasing doesn't exist. If someone had a problem that outside of their control, how exactly does lying to them lead to a better life in the end? They'll always be walking on ice.
You can be 100% supporting with the harsh truth. There's no bullying or dismissal here.
What you don't understand is that saying "you are perfect the way you are, I support and Love you" is NOT a lie. Its the truth. The person is perfect the way they are simply for existing. Wether or not they are fat or with a mental illness, they are legitimate therefore PERFECT the way they ARE.
Its up to them, to fight their battle. Its THEIR truth. Not ours.
If someone ask you for advice, then yes, do give them advice, but your "truth" is only hurtfull if its unsollicited.
1. There is no "harsh truth", its only yours.
2. No, you can't. Unless people directly ask you for your help.
Its up to THEM to understand that they need to ask you for help. Unless the situation is desesperate and extremely urgent and life threatenning (like suicidal attempts), the only way you can help a person is to support them and EVENTUALLY give them ressources to be helped if they need any.
For example, its not up to you or any of my family members to tell to a person with my condition to go to a psychiatrist. But there is nothing wrong for you guys to tell me that you have the number of one of those doctor if I ever feel the need to call them. Its called support. You wouldn't force your point of view on me, you would just show me that if I need you, you would be there.
I took me 10 years to call a psychiatrist. The day I finally did it was the day my family finally accepted my struggle and my legitimacy. I felt trusted and therefore it gave me the strenght to call for help.
You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped or is feeling unlegitimated. All you can do, is be ready to stop them in case they are doing something very self-destructive, stand by them and wait for their words. Because don't mistake calm with the lack of battle. People in difficulty are in a CONSTANT state of WAR. And if they understand that they are helpless and FEEL that you support them, then, they will definitely ask you for help.
Its up to them, to fight their battle. Its THEIR truth. Not ours.
If someone ask you for advice, then yes, do give them advice, but your "truth" is only hurtfull if its unsollicited.
1. There is no "harsh truth", its only yours.
2. No, you can't. Unless people directly ask you for your help.
Its up to THEM to understand that they need to ask you for help. Unless the situation is desesperate and extremely urgent and life threatenning (like suicidal attempts), the only way you can help a person is to support them and EVENTUALLY give them ressources to be helped if they need any.
For example, its not up to you or any of my family members to tell to a person with my condition to go to a psychiatrist. But there is nothing wrong for you guys to tell me that you have the number of one of those doctor if I ever feel the need to call them. Its called support. You wouldn't force your point of view on me, you would just show me that if I need you, you would be there.
I took me 10 years to call a psychiatrist. The day I finally did it was the day my family finally accepted my struggle and my legitimacy. I felt trusted and therefore it gave me the strenght to call for help.
You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped or is feeling unlegitimated. All you can do, is be ready to stop them in case they are doing something very self-destructive, stand by them and wait for their words. Because don't mistake calm with the lack of battle. People in difficulty are in a CONSTANT state of WAR. And if they understand that they are helpless and FEEL that you support them, then, they will definitely ask you for help.
Again.. you are speaking with your biases and as always - sigh - deforming what I say.
I did not say that it was cruel. I said that it was toxic.
Toxic means that the word you use have a toxic effect on people you uses them on. (that's why I often use the term "toxicity" on this forum). You can perfectly have a toxic behavior out of love.
I truly believe that you are well intentioned. But the reality is that no matter how much love you have for a person. If you explain to them how to live or fight their struggle at their place, it will result in a systematic negative effect.
Let people come to you for advice. Love people without conditions and trust them to find their own way in life.
I did not say that it was cruel. I said that it was toxic.
Toxic means that the word you use have a toxic effect on people you uses them on. (that's why I often use the term "toxicity" on this forum). You can perfectly have a toxic behavior out of love.
I truly believe that you are well intentioned. But the reality is that no matter how much love you have for a person. If you explain to them how to live or fight their struggle at their place, it will result in a systematic negative effect.
Let people come to you for advice. Love people without conditions and trust them to find their own way in life.
No. There is a few people here that I don't consider toxic. Don't make your case a generality mate. Also, I have a vision based on movement, which means that I only remember toxic behavior during a few week then there is a big chance that I forget about it.
(unless you are a special case like Bob)
If by "little slight" you mean proper toxic behavior, then yes.
Oh the famous antipolitical and fallacious argument : "you are toxic because you report toxicity".
Its funny because I was threadbanned for that once.
Ahhh... The good old time.. When I was still very naive about the moral righteousness of the staff here
(unless you are a special case like Bob)
If by "little slight" you mean proper toxic behavior, then yes.
Oh the famous antipolitical and fallacious argument : "you are toxic because you report toxicity".
Its funny because I was threadbanned for that once.
Ahhh... The good old time.. When I was still very naive about the moral righteousness of the staff here