(I deleted this part as I saw Krushers response and wanted to respond to that instead)
Thank you seriously/sincerely. I'm fucking tired to death for being constantly ridiculed for who i am, what I am and how I feel and think especially throughout my life.
I know I take shit personally, im an extremely sensitive person and despite what a lot of incredibly ignorant people think and genuinely believe, it is not by fucking choice. Do they genuinely believe I enjoy being like this, suffering everyday in all kinds of pain due to it and I enjoy getting so wound up, upset and hurt? I'm knot a fucking masochist, I HATE pain in every single form of it FFS. Being literally oversensitive to sounds, taste, touch, smells, pain and such is a living hell especially with such insensitive, ignorant, loud as fuck, chaotic, messy, unhygienic etc neighbours and family too.
Sorry I'm just really fucking pissed off right now as its obvious ofc. I should really have just really committed to that break and not make my usual mistake of trusting others asking me to stay, even though they were being genuinely well intentioned and caring ofc.
I was legit tempted again to ask for my account to be deleted, which makes it extremely ironic with that post I made glorifying this place and people here last night or so.
I'm walking away temporarily at least right now before I really snap and get fully toxic and hostile.
Thank you again
@Krusher1357 I really appreciate and respect that response, it helps.
I really don't enjoy who I am the way i am and I never really have deep down, I just fake it and a lot of people think I'm really confident and love myself when it's the exact opposite.
I know how much of a walking clusterfuck emotionally and mentally that I am and contrary to popular belief its not as much in my control as that love to assume it is and I can't just change who I am, God fucking knows I've been trying my whole godamn life and ive been in therapy on and off for many years now desperately, vainly trying to fix my complete mess of a life and self.
But you know. I just gotta stop being so dramatic right? Fuck emotions, fuck feelings, fuck speaking out against the narrative or hive mind. Fuck honesty.
Sorry I'm winding myself up again. I'm dipping right now as I should have already. Thank you again seriously.