"Part" because psychoanalysts can also be psychiatrists. While phychiatry relies on real medecine and science. Psychoanalyst rely on pseudoscience (the freudian's theories). Psychoanalyst can therefore have a placebo effect but "should" be restrained to little affects, not traumas or big trauma.
We have a big problem in France concerning "psychanalyse". While other occidental countries like USA have greatly diminished their usage of psychanalystic theories, France never got rid of it. (mostly because some famous people are also famous psychanalyst). Therefore people with mental disease are greatly misstreated by the medical industry because of that.
Anyway it's complicated (and frankly irritating)
The best thing to do if you guys live in France, is to seek a real full fledge doctor, a psychiatrist. Even if they are harder to find (and its hard, it took me a while to find one), they deliver with much more efficiancy.
Also don't hesitate to seek genders your are most familiar with. For example I'm more willing to share with women, but it can be different for you, so don't make the mistake not to choose, it can be important for the process of healing.
But seriously, did you feel betrayed by a scammer or are you just repeating some American stuff someone told you ?
"there are countries like the US"
I mean, that's literally the only country I know of that disregards psychoanalysis.
Science doesn't need to provide medication to be science. You seem to have a practical definition of science.
Freud was a neurologist and Lacan a psychiatrist. They are not frauds.
The only problem of psychoanalysis is how expensive it is. That's all. That stuff, wether you wanna call it science or not, should be refunded by Social Security.
I mean of course people should seek a psychiatrist first. Medications have a more direct result than years upon years of psychoanalysis.
As they should. And yes, Fraud and Lacan are scientific frauds. But let's not bring that debate here. If you want to talk about psychoanalysis I'm happy to talk about it in the left place. I don't want to pollute this thread.
But let's not bring that debate here. If you want to talk about psychoanalysis I'm happy to talk about it in the left place. I don't want to pollute this thread.
Great thread. People can get pessimistic and depressed sometimes and then they think life is meaningless but it isn't. Time heals every wound, but before that, you should aim to get professional help if you can.
Don't mind that I speak so positively, I have fallen into the grip of that pessimism these days. I attended the funeral of my primary school friend in the last month. He committed suicide like Jmena. My heart still breaks when I hear his family's struggles.
Life is not always bad, of course, I also attended my cousins wedding. I also saw the happiness of newly married couples.
I'm getting away from the subject, let me wrap it up right away, just because life is going bad, it doesn't have to go bad all the time, remember that the sun comes up at the end of every night. If you think that it will not be born, do not forget to get professional help. If you want, you can also open up your problem to us, even though this is anonymous, we would be happy to listen to you.
Not sure if this is the right thread for this but...
I have a lot of trouble focusing on tasks, and I was wondering if anyone had any tips/tricks to avoid being easily distracted. I've been doing well enough in school, but there's a lot of unneeded anxiety I have due to this.
Not sure if this is the right thread for this but...
I have a lot of trouble focusing on tasks, and I was wondering if anyone had any tips/tricks to avoid being easily distracted. I've been doing well enough in school, but there's a lot of unneeded anxiety I have due to this.
I also sometimes struggle with focusing on tasks , but here's what's proven useful to me:
- Isolate/acknowledge your distractions, then dismiss them. Recognizing what's garnering your attention is the best way to distance yourself from them
- Use reminders. Sticky notes, calendar reminders, alarms, whatever. Anything that can say "hey, you need to get this shit done."
- Dedicate time to planning. It's kinda like forming an outline when writing a paper. Set beginning, middle, and end goals, and use them as benchmarks for success.
- Ask for help. There's nothing like having a friend or family member to remind you to get your shit together. A friendly nudge goes long way to staying on track.
- Step away. I sometimes need to hit "reset" on myself to gain focus. Breaking away from a task and coming back to it clears my head and allows me to regain focus on what I was supposed to initially complete.
These are a few of the methods I use to focus and stay on track, I hope this helps. ✌️
Screens and scrolling and whatnot are a pain if you wanna focus on yourself.
The trick is to clear some time for yourself every day. Then trigger your personal activity, make sure to reach the level where you don’t wanna stop it anymore. It’s now an habit, you have changed yourself, you’re now ready to change the world !
Not sure if this is the right thread for this but...
I have a lot of trouble focusing on tasks, and I was wondering if anyone had any tips/tricks to avoid being easily distracted. I've been doing well enough in school, but there's a lot of unneeded anxiety I have due to this.
Ever tried the pomodoro technique?Basically,you work for a few minutes and take a short break.That way you are still productive despite having a low attention spam.It works.Try it out.
Post automatically merged:
Also,try to meditate for 5 to 15 min everyday.It really helps to improve you focus and it has other health benefits too.
I have a lot of trouble focusing on tasks, and I was wondering if anyone had any tips/tricks to avoid being easily distracted. I've been doing well enough in school, but there's a lot of unneeded anxiety I have due to this.
Shit like that makes endings of movies life first spiderman and dark knigh endings absurd... Do you really believe things would happen like in movies ? I highly doubt it, but its powerfull moments that keep inspiring us while being completely unrealistic
Life's pathway is full of twists and turns, ups and downs, thistles and thorns, ditches and mountains, but most of all distractions.
Don't forget your path, even if you somehow lose your way. Remember where you started, where you intended to go and why you're heading in that direction. Above all, never stop, never quit. ✌️
Hey guys, I was debating to make a thread for this or not seperately but decided here might be best instead. I need to confess a few things.
(Extremely long posts incoming, sorry.)
Even a few years before I joined here, I've been experiencing severe harassment IRL and it's still going to this very day, even a mere half hour/30 mins ago. I used to volunteer at a charity shop and I was VERY passionate about it, I turned it around from borderline closure permanently to raking in £100 at least a day through my own sheer hard work/efforts, working full-time slaving away at my own choice to try and save the place.
The important part is that my neighbour who is VERY racist, hateful in general, two-faced, aggressive and just has all kinds of things wrong with him, got into a HUGE fight with me at the shop.
He was spreading rumours of me stealing like some others who were accused of stealing there and got fired for it, whether it was true or not. He was trying to get me fired and I got into an argument one day with him, when he found me alone at the shop, exhausted with a TON of bags as donations that I hadn't had the energy or time to clear away yet and he went ballistic at me calling me lazy, stupid, selfish, disruptive and such for not moving the bags and I snapped at him and said some vicious things to him in return. (Context is that he is known to bully people and harass them in my area, not even just my street alone but the next one along too for DECADES now even, so I gave him some karmic return fire verbally. He LOVES targeting vulnerable people, especially elderly, single mothers, people with known mental health issues or and disabilities and "coincidentally", Asians or anyone who isn't white at least.)
I was extremely meticulous about what I did at the shop, especially with accusations of others stealing from there too. I was promoted to running the shop myself fulltime and thus handling the cash register and sales. I was LOVED by a lot of customers and some of my fellow colleagues there too at least, including my boss BUT a certain elderly volunteer who I was good friends with confessed he was getting harassed by my neighbour there and feared he was trying to get him fired by smear campaigning/fake accusations. An elderly woman and nearly two others there had been reduced to severe distress and the 1st one was fired and left in tears after being accused of stealing without solid proof and seems like it all goes back to this scumbag.
Anyway, after I had this argument with my neighbour, it led to me also leaving the shop, well being told to leave and come back after the weekend by my boss's husband (ironically my birthday was in a few days and I was gonna come celebrate it at the shop with them) but instead, I just said I'm quitting and not returning.
Immediately after that, for MONTHS on end, my neighbour would SHOUT abuse at us from his back garden, calling us fucking filthy liars constantly. This was every single day for around an hour or two. He would get drunk, blast music extremely loudly, do extremely loud (and thus extremely painful for my sensitive ears too) and even shout extreme abuse at me if he saw me on the street too. A couple of time at least, he has come round and threatened my grandparents outside the house, as they were sitting in their back garden, just immediately after me and my mum had gone out too. He tried it to do it twice when we were home too, banging on our windows and doors and shouting abuse/threats but we told him we're calling the police and he runs off both times.
I was almost killed by a "former friend", almost a year before my incident with the neighbour at the shop. Thats a long story in itself too but the guy had severe mental issues too, was on meds for years, a full blown incel too and decided to take out all his pent up rage at the world on me one day out of the blue, after I was trying to make him laugh with a parody video of Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines song. My neighbour found out and nicely told everyone the complete opposite of what happened, in that not my friend had assaulted me, had made the first blow and tried to kill me BUT that I had assaulted him and tried to kill him too. Even the police knew the truth that I was the victim by the wound on my neck too but long story short, the people I knew that guy from protected him and some other known abusers and my neighbour seems to think I was the one who assaulted him too, when I never laid a finger on him and just called the police immediately after he let me go from genuinely trying to strangle me to death.
This was now maybe 6 years ago when I clashed with the neighbour IIRC. I almost died to my "former friend" back in June 2016 so yeah, the incident with my neighbour happened in April the following year (2017) or the one after that (2018) at the latest.
Anyway, we've also had to deal with his dogs barking for up to 8 hours a day before, non-stop, just endless barking. We had to make 100s of reports to the local council and police to get anywhere and get him to stop too. He even got featured in our local paper as a neighbour from hell type article due to it. It never stopped him entirely. Flash forward a few years ago since when the dogs were first an issue (from 2008ish when I first moved to this house) and his dogs have become a massive issue again, leading to us having to make 100s (no exaggeration) of reports to the council and police over several years now too.
Finally, we come to present day, where just today, even now an hour ago from when this will be posted, he has been banging on my bedroom walls AGGRESSIVELY for some insane reason, even though I'm sat here in silence too. You can hear a pin drop aside from him here. Our house was split up into two (semi detached) and my walls are very thin and combine that with my super sensitive ears, its HELL honestly.
The past couple of days, he has been banging on my walls multiple times now. I used to have a neighbour do this to me as a teenager too. He would bang on my floor/his ceiling (we lived in a house split horizontally into two flats/apartments, a top floor one and a bottom floor one, back then) and he would scream from his bottom floor flat that we were jumping up and down on the floor, his ceiling, trying to be like an elephant stampede, shout abuse and threats, blast music loudly and even sent his girlfriend to threaten me when I was home alone too, implying he would try to kill me one day when I was alone if we didn't stop "harassing them with noise". He was also a massive hard druggie unsurprisingly, constantly high with bloodshot eyes and that insane 1000 yard stare or w/e.
Anyway I know this is some very heavy stuff to post and I've been extremely reluctant to talk about this stuff on here but I'm at a point of complete desperation/hopelessness now. That freakout I had recently where I was saying I would be better off dead/wanting to die? That was me projecting my anxieties/stress/suicidal idealations etc caused by what I'm going through mostly tbh. What happened with a certain person we lost here recently hasn't helped in that regard either ofc, especially as like him, I'm autistic too and have severe mental health issues as well.
I've had to listen to my neighbour shouting all these lies about me outside my house before and he keeps getting more and more aggressive and I don't know what to do anymore. My city has a victim support line which is apparently more helpful than the police and council, so I'm thinking to contact them as I'm hearing they offer a lot more support than what we're getting. All he has had from the police and council is fines/fees at worst, seemingly empty threats of prosecution/arrests/going to jail and whatever too. They keep moving the goalposts on what to do with him, despite claiming he is always a step away from severe legal prosecution and jailtime.
I'm no expert on the law, FAR from it but I just can't fathom how this asshole is being allowed to continue freely and facing fines at absolute worst, the state of my meme of a country I swear! (UK again just for reference, good old Brexitland)
Idk what else to say, except I just really need some advice and I feel lost, helpless and in danger too. I don't feel safe, I'm terrified and I barely go out anymore because of him too. I've had to adjust my lifestyle a LOT because of him and its wrecking my mental health massively. I'm small, frail and such, I've thought about learning martial arts/self defense to try and help protect myself, but the guy is MUCH bigger than me, almost a David and Goliath situation and he LOVES to bully women, vulnerable people like me, elderly people or anyone with disabilities and mental health issues too as I mentioned prior above.
I'm at a loss here, if anyone can help me, I'd really appreciate it. Most of the time why I freak out and have meltdowns on here is because of him, because of shit like that and I'm just projecting my pent up stress/fear/anxiety/anger etc on here and at random people when they don't deserve it and are FAR from the complete psychopath nutjob he is ofc.
I've not mentioned even everything he's done and what he's like in general, you're just getting the highlights here but you get the idea too ofc. We have an elderly man who has to move away every summer (he lives on the adjacent street, behind our house somewhat) because he can't stand my neighbours extremely antisocial behaviour and thus causing INSANE amounts of noise daily when its warmer outside.
I could keep going and going, I mean he's an ex-pest controller and ex-government/council enviromental health officer or w/e its called and his front and backyard are literal junkyards, no exaggeration. The latter is also more like an outdoor prison for his complete zoo of all kinds of animals too and we've had to deal with his dogs escaping multiple times into our garden, a GIANT swarm of flies caused by him and leaving dog shit everywhere in his back garden, also leaving his dogs caged up 24/7 (until he started letting them roam around his house now MANY, MANY years later), a fucking big snake escaping and dying somewhere from his house near our garden too and so on. We've had multiple rat infestations because as a "ratcatcher", he loves to not kill the rats he hunts but capture them and keep them at home, where he feeds them to his snake or w/e else too. His dogs are trained to chase rats and they get chased into our house somehow and thus we keep getting rats due to him, which may have chewed some of our electrics wires too.
I have so many personal issues going on, not even including this guy or what my "former friend" did to me, tons of shit going back to my childhood and even my teen years and early 20s so its all just one never ending mess of problems and trauma and I've been in therapy for YEARS but I'm at the point, where this asshole is making me feel like I can't continue on like this anymore and I am desperate for advice/help right now.
Sorry this is such a momunentally long post but I prefer to give as much detail as possible, to prevent misunderstandings ideally and such, any confusions and such, so if anyone reads all of this and responds I'd really appreciate it immensely. Especially actually constructive advice and any emotional support and such ofc lol. Thank you as well for anyone who does take the time to read this, despite how immensely long it is too.
Mood right now:
I Just hope I won't end up regretting post this for one reason or another at least too somehow.
(At least a big reason why I keep saying I want to leave here and not come back is because of my suicidal thoughts/feelings and expecting I'm gonna do it after all, despite battling feeling of suicidal urges since I was 13/14, which was 20 years ago now at most. I have severe anxiety and some PTSD issues since childhood but some far more recently caused ones too, in the past 13/14 years too especially.)
Hey guys, I was debating to make a thread for this or not seperately but decided here might be best instead. I need to confess a few things.
(Extremely long posts incoming, sorry.)
Even a few years before I joined here, I've been experiencing severe harassment IRL and it's still going to this very day, even a mere half hour/30 mins ago. I used to volunteer at a charity shop and I was VERY passionate about it, I turned it around from borderline closure permanently to raking in £100 at least a day through my own sheer hard work/efforts, working full-time slaving away at my own choice to try and save the place.
The important part is that my neighbour who is VERY racist, hateful in general, two-faced, aggressive and just has all kinds of things wrong with him, got into a HUGE fight with me at the shop.
He was spreading rumours of me stealing like some others who were accused of stealing there and got fired for it, whether it was true or not. He was trying to get me fired and I got into an argument one day with him, when he found me alone at the shop, exhausted with a TON of bags as donations that I hadn't had the energy or time to clear away yet and he went ballistic at me calling me lazy, stupid, selfish, disruptive and such for not moving the bags and I snapped at him and said some vicious things to him in return. (Context is that he is known to bully people and harass them in my area, not even just my street alone but the next one along too for DECADES now even, so I gave him some karmic return fire verbally. He LOVES targeting vulnerable people, especially elderly, single mothers, people with known mental health issues or and disabilities and "coincidentally", Asians or anyone who isn't white at least.)
I was extremely meticulous about what I did at the shop, especially with accusations of others stealing from there too. I was promoted to running the shop myself fulltime and thus handling the cash register and sales. I was LOVED by a lot of customers and some of my fellow colleagues there too at least, including my boss BUT a certain elderly volunteer who I was good friends with confessed he was getting harassed by my neighbour there and feared he was trying to get him fired by smear campaigning/fake accusations. An elderly woman and nearly two others there had been reduced to severe distress and the 1st one was fired and left in tears after being accused of stealing without solid proof and seems like it all goes back to this scumbag.
Anyway, after I had this argument with my neighbour, it led to me also leaving the shop, well being told to leave and come back after the weekend by my boss's husband (ironically my birthday was in a few days and I was gonna come celebrate it at the shop with them) but instead, I just said I'm quitting and not returning.
Immediately after that, for MONTHS on end, my neighbour would SHOUT abuse at us from his back garden, calling us fucking filthy liars constantly. This was every single day for around an hour or two. He would get drunk, blast music extremely loudly, do extremely loud (and thus extremely painful for my sensitive ears too) and even shout extreme abuse at me if he saw me on the street too. A couple of time at least, he has come round and threatened my grandparents outside the house, as they were sitting in their back garden, just immediately after me and my mum had gone out too. He tried it to do it twice when we were home too, banging on our windows and doors and shouting abuse/threats but we told him we're calling the police and he runs off both times.
I was almost killed by a "former friend", almost a year before my incident with the neighbour at the shop. Thats a long story in itself too but the guy had severe mental issues too, was on meds for years, a full blown incel too and decided to take out all his pent up rage at the world on me one day out of the blue, after I was trying to make him laugh with a parody video of Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines song. My neighbour found out and nicely told everyone the complete opposite of what happened, in that not my friend had assaulted me, had made the first blow and tried to kill me BUT that I had assaulted him and tried to kill him too. Even the police knew the truth that I was the victim by the wound on my neck too but long story short, the people I knew that guy from protected him and some other known abusers and my neighbour seems to think I was the one who assaulted him too, when I never laid a finger on him and just called the police immediately after he let me go from genuinely trying to strangle me to death.
This was now maybe 6 years ago when I clashed with the neighbour IIRC. I almost died to my "former friend" back in June 2016 so yeah, the incident with my neighbour happened in April the following year (2017) or the one after that (2018) at the latest.
Anyway, we've also had to deal with his dogs barking for up to 8 hours a day before, non-stop, just endless barking. We had to make 100s of reports to the local council and police to get anywhere and get him to stop too. He even got featured in our local paper as a neighbour from hell type article due to it. It never stopped him entirely. Flash forward a few years ago since when the dogs were first an issue (from 2008ish when I first moved to this house) and his dogs have become a massive issue again, leading to us having to make 100s (no exaggeration) of reports to the council and police over several years now too.
Finally, we come to present day, where just today, even now an hour ago from when this will be posted, he has been banging on my bedroom walls AGGRESSIVELY for some insane reason, even though I'm sat here in silence too. You can hear a pin drop aside from him here. Our house was split up into two (semi detached) and my walls are very thin and combine that with my super sensitive ears, its HELL honestly.
The past couple of days, he has been banging on my walls multiple times now. I used to have a neighbour do this to me as a teenager too. He would bang on my floor/his ceiling (we lived in a house split horizontally into two flats/apartments, a top floor one and a bottom floor one, back then) and he would scream from his bottom floor flat that we were jumping up and down on the floor, his ceiling, trying to be like an elephant stampede, shout abuse and threats, blast music loudly and even sent his girlfriend to threaten me when I was home alone too, implying he would try to kill me one day when I was alone if we didn't stop "harassing them with noise". He was also a massive hard druggie unsurprisingly, constantly high with bloodshot eyes and that insane 1000 yard stare or w/e.
Anyway I know this is some very heavy stuff to post and I've been extremely reluctant to talk about this stuff on here but I'm at a point of complete desperation/hopelessness now. That freakout I had recently where I was saying I would be better off dead/wanting to die? That was me projecting my anxieties/stress/suicidal idealations etc caused by what I'm going through mostly tbh. What happened with a certain person we lost here recently hasn't helped in that regard either ofc, especially as like him, I'm autistic too and have severe mental health issues as well.
I've had to listen to my neighbour shouting all these lies about me outside my house before and he keeps getting more and more aggressive and I don't know what to do anymore. My city has a victim support line which is apparently more helpful than the police and council, so I'm thinking to contact them as I'm hearing they offer a lot more support than what we're getting. All he has had from the police and council is fines/fees at worst, seemingly empty threats of prosecution/arrests/going to jail and whatever too. They keep moving the goalposts on what to do with him, despite claiming he is always a step away from severe legal prosecution and jailtime.
I'm no expert on the law, FAR from it but I just can't fathom how this asshole is being allowed to continue freely and facing fines at absolute worst, the state of my meme of a country I swear! (UK again just for reference, good old Brexitland)
Idk what else to say, except I just really need some advice and I feel lost, helpless and in danger too. I don't feel safe, I'm terrified and I barely go out anymore because of him too. I've had to adjust my lifestyle a LOT because of him and its wrecking my mental health massively. I'm small, frail and such, I've thought about learning martial arts/self defense to try and help protect myself, but the guy is MUCH bigger than me, almost a David and Goliath situation and he LOVES to bully women, vulnerable people like me, elderly people or anyone with disabilities and mental health issues too as I mentioned prior above.
I'm at a loss here, if anyone can help me, I'd really appreciate it. Most of the time why I freak out and have meltdowns on here is because of him, because of shit like that and I'm just projecting my pent up stress/fear/anxiety/anger etc on here and at random people when they don't deserve it and are FAR from the complete psychopath nutjob he is ofc.
I've not mentioned even everything he's done and what he's like in general, you're just getting the highlights here but you get the idea too ofc. We have an elderly man who has to move away every summer (he lives on the adjacent street, behind our house somewhat) because he can't stand my neighbours extremely antisocial behaviour and thus causing INSANE amounts of noise daily when its warmer outside.
I could keep going and going, I mean he's an ex-pest controller and ex-government/council enviromental health officer or w/e its called and his front and backyard are literal junkyards, no exaggeration. The latter is also more like an outdoor prison for his complete zoo of all kinds of animals too and we've had to deal with his dogs escaping multiple times into our garden, a GIANT swarm of flies caused by him and leaving dog shit everywhere in his back garden, also leaving his dogs caged up 24/7 (until he started letting them roam around his house now MANY, MANY years later), a fucking big snake escaping and dying somewhere from his house near our garden too and so on. We've had multiple rat infestations because as a "ratcatcher", he loves to not kill the rats he hunts but capture them and keep them at home, where he feeds them to his snake or w/e else too. His dogs are trained to chase rats and they get chased into our house somehow and thus we keep getting rats due to him, which may have chewed some of our electrics wires too.
I have so many personal issues going on, not even including this guy or what my "former friend" did to me, tons of shit going back to my childhood and even my teen years and early 20s so its all just one never ending mess of problems and trauma and I've been in therapy for YEARS but I'm at the point, where this asshole is making me feel like I can't continue on like this anymore and I am desperate for advice/help right now.
Sorry this is such a momunentally long post but I prefer to give as much detail as possible, to prevent misunderstandings ideally and such, any confusions and such, so if anyone reads all of this and responds I'd really appreciate it immensely. Especially actually constructive advice and any emotional support and such ofc lol. Thank you as well for anyone who does take the time to read this, despite how immensely long it is too.
Mood right now:
I Just hope I won't end up regretting post this for one reason or another at least too somehow.
(At least a big reason why I keep saying I want to leave here and not come back is because of my suicidal thoughts/feelings and expecting I'm gonna do it after all, despite battling feeling of suicidal urges since I was 13/14, which was 20 years ago now at most. I have severe anxiety and some PTSD issues since childhood but some far more recently caused ones too, in the past 13/14 years too especially.)
Your situation is nightmarish. I've been there too. But never had such a deeply stupid toxic neighbour. I read a bit in newspapers about neighbouring issues like that. From what I can recall, it sadly often works out by one of the two neighbours moving elsewhere.
But you seem to be living in an apartment. If so, what do the other neighbours think and behave with this guy ? And how did he learn stuff about your past like the thing with your psychotic friend ?
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