WG Support Thread
- Thread starter SmokedOut
- Start date
You haven’t lost a part of your soul, he’s a part of your soul. This is why it’s painful
Someone becomes a part of your being when you love them. This is why I think that our soul is love, you are what you love
Cry, ask questions, live your emotions and smile while remembering him
I wish you the best 🙏🏼
Someone becomes a part of your being when you love them. This is why I think that our soul is love, you are what you love
Cry, ask questions, live your emotions and smile while remembering him
I wish you the best 🙏🏼
Thank you for such kind words. They have touched my heart. I'd very much like to think he had become part of my soul. Then I can carry him with me where I go, and all my adventures will give him experiences too. I want to live a fulfilled life that will make him proud. I hope to see him one day at the end of this life and hear him tell me that he saw it all, critique the things I messed up on, and then just let me hug him. I'll forever miss my found brother, but I also hope he doesn't miss me for too long.
![[No Name]](https://worstgen.alwaysdata.net/forum/data/avatars/o/8/8045.jpg?1622550034){kind=avatar}
I habe been abused since a i was a toddler.
Both me and my mom, i had to witness her cry and being beaten up so many times by dad.
I tried to make friends, but they used to bully me and beat me as well no matter how many times i tried to befriend the group leader.
At school, two sede the groups, I didn't wanna choose so they did, all against me.
I changed place, different values and culture, I became the trickster, i wanted acceptance but there I got hated by teacher for racist reasons.
I came back, now bullied and beaten up again, my parents didn't give a shit.
Dad almost killed me.
I made a friend, he was everything, until this day he comes back and goes away, dating my exes or my ex friends and leaving me every time.
I live like a fraud, not doing a single thing in my Life,i am a spectator.
I am detached, I isolated, people used to care now they don't look for me.
I make myself look like a big shot with my intellectual arrogance and I even make up stories to look cool, some didn't get it, started to get hate for It, way older people get i am a good guy, people around my Age don't, they don't get i act edgy on purpose..
I got hated, mentally abused, every failure of me wanting to date crushes me, they tell me i am the best guy and its abusrd i don't have a girlfriend, i can even attract at First with my charisma and personality, but fhen they leave because I am ugly or because I am emptty inside, I feel poor in feelings, poor in giving, I lack emotional resources, i can't give them and they Need attention. I only attract needy depressed girls, i try to be their knight, they abused me mentally. I feel like a robot, i got used to It After hundreds of attempts, but now i became insensitive, empty, my sadness Is dry, my emotions bottled, i can't even cry.
I feel like a robot, a spectator of my Life ,i don't wanna live like this but i can't do much, i Need someone to care but no one does,i Need someone Who cares enough to come After me even If i isolate.
Idk, I just wanna die, my existence Is miserable.
I hate myself. I am alone, completely.
Both me and my mom, i had to witness her cry and being beaten up so many times by dad.
I tried to make friends, but they used to bully me and beat me as well no matter how many times i tried to befriend the group leader.
At school, two sede the groups, I didn't wanna choose so they did, all against me.
I changed place, different values and culture, I became the trickster, i wanted acceptance but there I got hated by teacher for racist reasons.
I came back, now bullied and beaten up again, my parents didn't give a shit.
Dad almost killed me.
I made a friend, he was everything, until this day he comes back and goes away, dating my exes or my ex friends and leaving me every time.
I live like a fraud, not doing a single thing in my Life,i am a spectator.
I am detached, I isolated, people used to care now they don't look for me.
I make myself look like a big shot with my intellectual arrogance and I even make up stories to look cool, some didn't get it, started to get hate for It, way older people get i am a good guy, people around my Age don't, they don't get i act edgy on purpose..
I got hated, mentally abused, every failure of me wanting to date crushes me, they tell me i am the best guy and its abusrd i don't have a girlfriend, i can even attract at First with my charisma and personality, but fhen they leave because I am ugly or because I am emptty inside, I feel poor in feelings, poor in giving, I lack emotional resources, i can't give them and they Need attention. I only attract needy depressed girls, i try to be their knight, they abused me mentally. I feel like a robot, i got used to It After hundreds of attempts, but now i became insensitive, empty, my sadness Is dry, my emotions bottled, i can't even cry.
I feel like a robot, a spectator of my Life ,i don't wanna live like this but i can't do much, i Need someone to care but no one does,i Need someone Who cares enough to come After me even If i isolate.
Idk, I just wanna die, my existence Is miserable.
I hate myself. I am alone, completely.
Could you guys give read my horror story and leave a like or comment if you enjoyed it?
https://www.reddit.com/r/creepcast/s/BOhxngGn8x
Would help my writing career
https://www.reddit.com/r/creepcast/s/BOhxngGn8x
Would help my writing career
Damn, I'm so sorry to hear you went through all of that and suffered so much like that and still suffer to this day too. So much of this was immensely relatable to me and it hits much harder seeing someone else describe experiencing the same kinds of trauma and thus horrific experiences, life ruining shit that they have no control over and somehow have to put up with and just "survive it".
I wish I could offer more words of comfort but thank you for opening up and sharing this, to be so candid about all the hell you've experienced and still do as well.
Its so common in this world for people to be forced to suffer in silence and get overlooked, to be invisible and ignored when they cry out for help or worse, rejected, verbally shunned at least and such.
Theres so much to process here, I can't even imagine how overwhelming it must be to feel and live with but at the same time I can kind of understand at least.
The parts of feeling like a robot, a spectator, feeling uncared for, wanting to die and disappear, being alone and in misery etc, all relatable as hell to me for most of my life now at least.
It takes a lot of guts to open up and be so vunerable, so visceral about your own suffering, pain and abuse and such like this, I really respect that. I wish I could be of more help but we're in similar boats at least and unfortunately, I'm just getting myself by on copes and distractions as much as possible. Occasionally I'll have days or maybe weeks at absolutely best where I'll feel great but it never lasts, it feels like its so much work just to be happy, to be content when it should be the exact opposite of that. Happiness shouldn't be forced, it should happen naturally and thus be in our reach constantly, always there, like how the sun and moon are always there.
I relate so much about girls there too and how they mentally/emotionally abuse and manipulate you too, god I could write an essay for king and country on that but I won't. I've been in far too much pain lately on that topic myself and I rather not dwell on it any further. I already do enough of it in therapy too. People's words contradict their actions a lot too unfortunately, you learn way more truth about people from just listening to them as they talk freely and observing their behaviours, their actions.
I can understand on the not crying too, I numbed myself a very long time ago as heartbreak and trauma broke me so badly from some certain incidents around the same time and I only "survived" and got myself out of that hellish emotional anguish rut I was in by numbing myself but now like you, I cannot cry at all, except when I have a mental breakdown once in a blue moon, like when I actually tried to take my own life a month ago too or when I randomly cry at movies/TV shows. I feel so emotionally stunted otherwise. Numbed, just as I wanted a long time ago, emotionally sedated. (Alexa play Numb and In The End by Linkin Park on loop please.)
I hope my response can be of some help to you somehow but I apologise if it doesn't help.
One of my most favourite bands btw, they have a song that has gotten way more immmensely and thus brutally relatable to me as I've gotten much older over time, I imagine you might be able to relate to it and maybe find some catharthis, some "indirect empathy" from it too?:
La, la, la-la-la
La, la, la-la-la
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over, I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Oh, I know I'm being used
That's okay, man, 'cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay 'cause I've got no self-esteem
Oh, way, oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
We make plans to go out at night
I wait 'til two, then I turn out the light
This rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up, I just might tell her so
Oh, way, oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah
Now I'll relate this little bit
It happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and looking to score
Oh, I know I should say no
But it's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem
Oh, way, oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah
The only things I've found that might help me are embracing my feelings, trying to unearth them and letting myself feel that rage, the agony, the grief that I buried so deeply and not apologising for how I feel. Giving hell to anyone who tries to put me down and shame me for how I feel and how much I've been hurt, especially by them specifically and so much. I've been standing up to my family a LOT and giving them hell in retribution for decades of abuse to this day and it has been helping me. They won't change, they won't care, they won't listen, I may as well try to stop a hurricane or a flood or a volcano erupting or w/e, BUT for my own sake, for the inner child who never had anyone stand up for them and comfort him, the one who was alone, terrified, suicidal and just wanted to be loved and cared for, I'm doing it for him. Nurture your inner child. Save them.
That's all I can recommend at this point, aside from trying to find a decent therapist, a dedicated, compassionate, rational one as they should be ofc.
I wish I could offer more words of comfort but thank you for opening up and sharing this, to be so candid about all the hell you've experienced and still do as well.
Its so common in this world for people to be forced to suffer in silence and get overlooked, to be invisible and ignored when they cry out for help or worse, rejected, verbally shunned at least and such.
Theres so much to process here, I can't even imagine how overwhelming it must be to feel and live with but at the same time I can kind of understand at least.
The parts of feeling like a robot, a spectator, feeling uncared for, wanting to die and disappear, being alone and in misery etc, all relatable as hell to me for most of my life now at least.
It takes a lot of guts to open up and be so vunerable, so visceral about your own suffering, pain and abuse and such like this, I really respect that. I wish I could be of more help but we're in similar boats at least and unfortunately, I'm just getting myself by on copes and distractions as much as possible. Occasionally I'll have days or maybe weeks at absolutely best where I'll feel great but it never lasts, it feels like its so much work just to be happy, to be content when it should be the exact opposite of that. Happiness shouldn't be forced, it should happen naturally and thus be in our reach constantly, always there, like how the sun and moon are always there.
I relate so much about girls there too and how they mentally/emotionally abuse and manipulate you too, god I could write an essay for king and country on that but I won't. I've been in far too much pain lately on that topic myself and I rather not dwell on it any further. I already do enough of it in therapy too. People's words contradict their actions a lot too unfortunately, you learn way more truth about people from just listening to them as they talk freely and observing their behaviours, their actions.
I can understand on the not crying too, I numbed myself a very long time ago as heartbreak and trauma broke me so badly from some certain incidents around the same time and I only "survived" and got myself out of that hellish emotional anguish rut I was in by numbing myself but now like you, I cannot cry at all, except when I have a mental breakdown once in a blue moon, like when I actually tried to take my own life a month ago too or when I randomly cry at movies/TV shows. I feel so emotionally stunted otherwise. Numbed, just as I wanted a long time ago, emotionally sedated. (Alexa play Numb and In The End by Linkin Park on loop please.)
I hope my response can be of some help to you somehow but I apologise if it doesn't help.
One of my most favourite bands btw, they have a song that has gotten way more immmensely and thus brutally relatable to me as I've gotten much older over time, I imagine you might be able to relate to it and maybe find some catharthis, some "indirect empathy" from it too?:
La, la, la-la-la
La, la, la-la-la
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over, I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Oh, I know I'm being used
That's okay, man, 'cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay 'cause I've got no self-esteem
Oh, way, oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
We make plans to go out at night
I wait 'til two, then I turn out the light
This rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up, I just might tell her so
Oh, way, oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah
Now I'll relate this little bit
It happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and looking to score
Oh, I know I should say no
But it's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem
Oh, way, oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah
When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah
The only things I've found that might help me are embracing my feelings, trying to unearth them and letting myself feel that rage, the agony, the grief that I buried so deeply and not apologising for how I feel. Giving hell to anyone who tries to put me down and shame me for how I feel and how much I've been hurt, especially by them specifically and so much. I've been standing up to my family a LOT and giving them hell in retribution for decades of abuse to this day and it has been helping me. They won't change, they won't care, they won't listen, I may as well try to stop a hurricane or a flood or a volcano erupting or w/e, BUT for my own sake, for the inner child who never had anyone stand up for them and comfort him, the one who was alone, terrified, suicidal and just wanted to be loved and cared for, I'm doing it for him. Nurture your inner child. Save them.
That's all I can recommend at this point, aside from trying to find a decent therapist, a dedicated, compassionate, rational one as they should be ofc.